Quote From: txgirl39You always hear about men going through a mid-life crises, but I believe it happens to women too. When I was 36 I went crazy. I started to question my marriage, my career, I was drinking and going to bars with my friends and yes I did have an affair. My husband was at a loss it was like my personality changed over night.
All I can say is get into couples therapy. I also went into therapy alone. She also need to talk to her doctor. I was placed on hormones and that really helped me.
It has been three years since I went off the deep end. Our marriage is back on track and we are very happy. I can truly say he is my best friend and I would rather spend time with him than anyone else. I can't believe I at one time felt that I was done with this marriage and wanted out of it. So there is hope, keep being honest with your feelings and hopefully she will eventually want to get help for the marriage.
I have said to her that I am having a mid-life crisis and looking for self-worth but I know I need to do it myself and not depend solely on her. I need my own help (physcially and therapy) and my own friends to help me. I also told her that I know that physical attention is an easy out and therefore it can be even less attractive to her. I get that...But I was hoping for her to respond in a similar way. She said maybe she will feel that way at my age but now she does not. She is saying this is normal and maybe we will get through it, but her behavior to me seems absolute. Her answers for not having an affair or planning one were all logical but none emotional. she has left all her emotions at the door. they all are absorbed by her friends. I get it, but how long do I wait it out. I see a therapist for me this week. I hope he will advise me. I asked her about seeing one herself first. She said yet again she has her friends (although she has seen one in her past prior to us meeting). Her sister and husband have openly talked about seeing a marriage therpaist in the past and the other night. I truly believe that her sister wants to help me and us based on her comments to me and in front of both of us, but again no foward response from my wife on the subject. She is known to be someone who analyzes situations and feelings for a long time then adjusts, but I think life has become to complicated now for her to do it this way. Since her friends are all the same age and feeling basically the same way, I do not think she gets that it is not helping us or herself in a relationship with me.
One last thing, as I read relationship books about this and books about helping sexual relationships. The symptoms she is portraying are more aligned to male responses. Maybe more evidence that she is also going through a mid-life crisis.
