Quote From: lucindamarieI have a troubled teenage grandson. He is defiant in 'every' way. He believes that he can do whatever he wants and pretty much whenever he wants. His grades were fairly good in school but then they started falling. He is in activities that he likes, such as football, etc. There is no real family structure, as his mother works most of the time. His age is 14. His step father works most of the time also, so there is not much "family" time in the home. I guess what I am wondering is what can be done and how can he be taught some rules to get him on the "right track"? Punishment does not faze him. He will throw a fit and take the punishment and then in a day or two he has done some terrible thing again. He has been grounded for smoking or for being someplace that he was not suppose to be.....but he does it all over again as soon as he can. Sometimes the punishment is very severe and lasts up to 3 months but most of the time it is less than that and he still does these things.
Most of the things one might try with a troubled teen won't work well here because his parents really aren't available at home much to provide support and supervision. As far as "how can he be taught some rules to get him on the "right track"?", he already knows "the rules" ... he just doesn't care about following them because they bring no near-term reward, especially versus his current freedoms and "pleasures". And I'd bet there is more negative he is doing you haven't mentioned, or perhaps may not realize.
I think he needs to be involved with some positive youth group and youth activities, even if he doesn't want to at first. This should put him with some positive adult role-models and engage him with peers in positive activities. In time, he should realize the better road and follow it. Exactly what options are available will vary by community, but a local youth services agency should have some information and advice.
You are right to be comcerned. If positive action to correct things isn't started now, his behavior probably will get worse, eventually leading to trouble with "the law". But that can all be turned around with a good local youth program. The only added thing is being sure his parents are attuned to what the youth group (and its counselor) is doing.
