Quote From: natalie83First off, I completely understand that the hubby isn't always there or just doesn't notice everything that is going on. That can be so frustrating.
Secondly, if he didn't take her to Disneyland, which is a big deal to a lot of people, that would not only be a slap in HER face but could hurt her severly.
You are the adult, not the child. True, she needs to be taught to respect you and to mind what you say, but by not including her into something so big just because you are fighting is childish. (Not trying to put you down, but being point blank like Dr. Phil, which is why I love watching his show.) And I know that it would hurt things in your relationship instead of mending them. Before you go I would recommend you sitting her down and talking to her. Explain whatever it is that you are fighting over, and why you are upset over it. Talk to her like a humanbeing and come to terms with it. Punish her in another way, but not by leaving her out.
It is not disrespectful on his part by bringing her along, it would be disrespectful on your part by leaving her behind just because you are fighting.
And he needs to spend as much time with her as possible, REGARDLESS of whether you are fighting or not. The world does not evolve on just your feelings, I know sometimes it feels like people are out to get you. But I promise they are not. You have to realize that they are just children, regardless of age, up until they are 25 their brains are still not completely functioning like they should. You are always going to disagree.
How would you have felt if your parents were going to go somewhere and just left you because you had a disagreement? Or how would you feel if it were your husband to leave you behind because you and his daughter were disagreeing? See what I am trying to say?
First of all I want to Thank You for responding to my message and it definately is something to think about. But, I don't know that I explained this correctly. My husband and I were arguing over my step daughter and on Friday decided to come home and tell me he was going to take her to Disneyland with his brother's family and I was not invited. On a normal day if this was something planned I would have just dealt with it. This was not the case, we agreed that if were arguing and not happy we will not bring the children into it by taking off with them. My stepdaughter had a softball game and a BIG project that is due on Wed. and I don't feel he was looking for her best interest, instead he was being selfish and thought he would just get out of the house and they would have a good time in Disneyland. We just moved to another state 3 months ago and have no family or friends here so obviously things have been different trying to adjust. Not using this as an excuse but I think our patience level is not to high right now. I always believe that you need to clear the air or take care of your argument before you just leave otherwise you just come back to it when you return home and in our case this could be the same argument weeks later if it wasn't resolved. I sure don't want to be childish but rather support there relationship. I would just like to be given a heads up before taking off for a weekend trip its only out of respect to the other. This is what I do and expect it in return.
