Replies to 'The Other Woman'

I think what a n other and mls2005 were trying to point out is right here in your own post. They were trying to get you to realize that your lover's wife is NOT the one responsible for your misery. You and she are locked into this "duel" where you bad-mouth and try to hurt each other.

You said it all when you wrote "I accept responsibility for being duped into this as I was led to believe that he was leaving." Did his wife tell you he was leaving her? NO. HE told you that. You have accepted your role in your misery, but what about your lover? You seem to think he is some kind of victim here, and bears no responsibility  in any of this. Step outside of your situation and look at it objectively. He is the one who is in a prior committed relationship. He told you that he was leaving her, but never did. And still hasn't, even after the wife found out about you. What would he need to tell you to keep you hanging in there? Hasn't he been doing exactly that?

I know that this whole situation is old, but I am reading it today and I find it sad. I feel bad for you that you blame the wife for your unhappiness, and you think of her as such a nut job. Do you ever stop and think, he is chosing this "nutjob" over you? What does that make you? Stop and take a real look at yourself. Do you really want to wait around for a man that doesn't want you. You may THINK he wants you, but he can leave his wife anytime, she can't MAKE him stay, just as much as you can't MAKE him leave. The decision is his and you are letting him control your life. Please, for your own sake, take control of your life back. That is what can truly make you happy.