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Replies to 'Defining Your Authentic Self'
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July 30, 2005, 11:20 am PDT
 Quote From: teri_id After reading your post and pondering for a bit, I found myself leaning two different ways as far as what I would suggest. I am currently working on Self Matters, yet some of what you mention in your post takes me to some things I learned years ago in a 12 step program.
I understand that you are not coming from a place of arrogance when you talk of your "gift" of intellect. Most people I have met that are gifted in this area often have a difficult time interacting with people on a pleasant social level. My son is gifted, and I see his tendency to isolate, thus I encourage him to be a kid, do normal teenage things and get into a little bit of trouble, as that is what builds the character that will enable him to interact with his peers. Of course, I also encourage him to use wisdom and be safe.
What I have learned is not one person is "terminally unique". We all have something in common somewhere, and it often is overlooked as we tend to focus on our differences. If your grades are an issue to your fellow students, do something to help them pull up their grades. If you know your area of interest is "above" their heads, bring it down a notch, or else look for peers who can identify. Join Mensa or some other group that will put you in touch with those who can relate. As far as grading on a curve, I have never liked it, yet there are students who depend on it. I am a current 4.0 student myself, and I have to work for it. It does come easy sometimes, yet I have to remain challenged, so I know I throw off any curve there is. I ask my instructors to allow my grades to stand alone, not affect any curve they may use. Most instructors are glad to do this, as well as ask me to tutor other students. Use your differences to inspire others, rather than to be inspired. Share some of the "real" things about you with others. If you continue to see yourself on a different plane as your peers, you will be. If you visualize you are all on equal ground, then you will begin to feel this way. Everyone has gifts. Yours is academic, intellectual. Maybe celebrate someone else's gift in a social area, or athletic. Celebrate all differences, as this is what makes it such an interesting world.
I wish good things for you and peace with yourself. I hope you will begin to feel comfortable in your own skin. Good luck! Teri I am often inspired by your posts. Thank you for the beautifully sensitive way you responded to this particular issue. I adore the ways in which you express your uniqueness.
It has been my experience of you, via this board, that you actually and actively are an astute observer, appreciating, whatever special 'gifts' others bring to this mix called humanity!!!!!
Thanks, Again!
Brenda
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July 31, 2005, 9:59 pm PDT
Quote From: teri_id After reading your post and pondering for a bit, I found myself leaning two different ways as far as what I would suggest. I am currently working on Self Matters, yet some of what you mention in your post takes me to some things I learned years ago in a 12 step program.
I understand that you are not coming from a place of arrogance when you talk of your "gift" of intellect. Most people I have met that are gifted in this area often have a difficult time interacting with people on a pleasant social level. My son is gifted, and I see his tendency to isolate, thus I encourage him to be a kid, do normal teenage things and get into a little bit of trouble, as that is what builds the character that will enable him to interact with his peers. Of course, I also encourage him to use wisdom and be safe.
What I have learned is not one person is "terminally unique". We all have something in common somewhere, and it often is overlooked as we tend to focus on our differences. If your grades are an issue to your fellow students, do something to help them pull up their grades. If you know your area of interest is "above" their heads, bring it down a notch, or else look for peers who can identify. Join Mensa or some other group that will put you in touch with those who can relate. As far as grading on a curve, I have never liked it, yet there are students who depend on it. I am a current 4.0 student myself, and I have to work for it. It does come easy sometimes, yet I have to remain challenged, so I know I throw off any curve there is. I ask my instructors to allow my grades to stand alone, not affect any curve they may use. Most instructors are glad to do this, as well as ask me to tutor other students. Use your differences to inspire others, rather than to be inspired. Share some of the "real" things about you with others. If you continue to see yourself on a different plane as your peers, you will be. If you visualize you are all on equal ground, then you will begin to feel this way. Everyone has gifts. Yours is academic, intellectual. Maybe celebrate someone else's gift in a social area, or athletic. Celebrate all differences, as this is what makes it such an interesting world.
I wish good things for you and peace with yourself. I hope you will begin to feel comfortable in your own skin. Good luck! Teri My husband responds that I shouldn't be concerned with the reactions of others. I am,mostly because If there is something I am doing, I want to change it. Between us and the responses here, I have come to the conclusion that I may be coming off as arrogant. I've decided to ask a few peers if that is a possibility. If it is, or not, I am definitely going to work on that. I know that things can not be obvious to us. When my glasses prescription was out, some thought I was angry. I didn't realize that the squinting and concentration interpreting things visually was making me appear perturbed. I agree with you about the differences. I've always assumed that my grades would not affect anyone else's. I have always assumed if they were out of the mainstream, they would be thrown out as an anomaly and not considered on any curve. That's one of the reasons I couldn't be a good teacher or tutor to my fellow students. I sometimes lack insight as to other people's knowledge. I also have difficulties conveying ideas. Sometimes it's impossible, even very frustrating to pull the ideas out of my head and put them into words for others to understand. My husband finds it comical sometimes. It extends to me referring to "thingies" and "you know". He is an excellent teacher, and communicator. It's just one of the differences that leave me in awe of him. I am amazed and often in awe of the gifts other people have. I accept most things about me that are flawed or different as just part of who I am. I would love to be tall, thin, beautiful, red-headed, organized and relaxed. I would love to be able to read electrical schematics, play an instrument, cook well or be able to distinguish easily two feet or two minutes from twenty or two hundred. I would love to have sweet, normal, adoring parents or a sibling who didn't suffer from some kind of severe issues. I am who I am. I admire those things in others, but I accept what I have been given. I admire them so much, I married an opposite. My husband is incredibly talented and gifted. We don't share the same knowledge, hobbies, or gifts. He is the almost utter opposite of me, and his gifts leave me feeling completely inadequate and in awe. We mesh perfectly inspite of and because of our opposites. I get what you are talking about with your son. I have always had a tendency to get wrapped up in learning things. I sometimes want to explain to my peers that they may have the same knowledge I do if they had read the PDR for the first time at five or six. To explain that reading and acquiring knowledge was my addiction and my way of escaping some things in life. It's one of the reasons I don't feel as "gifted" as some people see me. I know the number of books I have read in my lifetime numbers in the millions. I think it's only logical that my knowledge and abilities should seem out of place for a second or third year student for that reason alone. Thanks again, it's so helpful and wonderful to be able to see as others. As a person who is deficient in perceiving others perceptions, it's especially helpful and useful and wonderful. Kim |
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