Replies to 'The Meaning of "Family"'

My only advice to you is probably what you already know: it is not healthy for you to continue living like this.
As a parent myself, I know that what you want for your children is for them to grow up and be happy, healthy, and productive citizens of the world. However, for that to happen, you have to give your children a happy, healthy and productive mother; it is the best gift that you could ever give them in their lives. So, no matter what you do about this relationship with your partner, you need to begin working on the one and only person that you have any control over, and that is YOU.
There is nothing that you can say or do that will make him change, he has to WANT to change. Until he wants to change, all you can do is focus on yourself, make positive changes in yourself. I urge you to seek professional counseling, because you need and deserve to have a place where you can vent your thoughts, feelings and frustrations, and in return, receive professional guidance on how to improve your self esteem. Also, there are some great self-help books out there; one that I highly recommend is Dr. Phil’s “self matters,” it gives you ways to take baby steps towards positive change.
Your daughter is old enough for pre-school, so there is no time like the present to seek a part time job for yourself. This will give you some income that you can begin to tuck away for your “escape.” If you aren’t strong enough to do this for yourself, do it for your children. Otherwise, they will grow up, go out into the world, find a mate just like yours, and they will be miserable, too. I know that you don’t want that for them. I wish you the best. I know that change is difficult; but living like this is difficult, too.