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July 31, 2005, 10:39 pm PDT
Teri, Thanks again
Quote From: teri_idI want to thank you for sharing your story with me. That must have been hard, realizing you left a loved one in danger. I am glad you can spoil your doggie and love him the way you do!
I gather from reading all of your posts that you have had many struggles in life. Amazing how abuse can become the great equalizer, isn't it?
You have much to offer people, and maybe by letting others see you as human, with the deep feelings you have, will help. I can relate with not wanting to be a part of a society where hostility is ok and acceptable. I know the best I can do is not be, and try to love everyone around me and be kind, be loving and be forgiving. This is not always easy, yet it has been worth it!
Thanks again for your kindness!
Teri You seem like such a sweetheart. I read that your MacKay was doing well. I am so glad. I know how difficult it is to deal with guilt about not doing whatever. It always seems so clear in hindsight. I wish I had hindsight all the time! I would swear I would do everything the way I should have instead of the way I have!
It is amazing how equalizing it can be. How HUMBLING it can be. When some teachers told me how far I would go in life, I often wanted to tell them being me wasn't as easy as all that. Intelligence and knowledge don't hold the key to all the doors. Sometimes, they can lock the ones you need.
I guess my diligence about making others comfortable and censoring myself to society is a big bad thing in overcoming my personal issues. It's been so positive not to have anyone react with shock or disbelief. That, I suppose is my biggest fear. Meeting my husband and having an environment that was stable and loving has helped me in ways that are immeasurable. My husband has reacted much the same way as the people here. He doesn't look at the behavior of my family as my faults. He has helped me overcome and work through the emotions associated with my past. He is an angel. When I used to wake screaming or sobbing, he soothed me and reassured me that I was here. That's been the most calming and positive thing in my life. I don't have nightmares anymore. I think my vigilance was so built up, that it takes time in tearing down. I have to see myself as human before anyone else can.
Thanks,
Kim
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