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August 16, 2008, 7:33 am PDT
toxic friend!
Quote From: tinahubI have been this mans friend for 11 years this youg girl came into his life anddestroyed him ,he has lost all of his friends and even his family hates to see him, he lost his job and his child to th state,which thank the gods his son is living with his parent and now he is losing his home, all because he thinks he can not live without this woman She is very nuts, sphycoti,says she hasevery disease there is, she is a hypercondriact,she has 2 children one has an eating disorder and very quiet, I personally believe she gave him brain damage when she iolently hit him in the head and him and the high chair went flying across the kitchen and hit his head on the register and there are so many other things tis girla done to both children and my friend but theresto muh to list, he just cant get her out of his head and move on the statetold him what he could do to get his only son back home bu he gave up on him and went for hi caniving tramp i am at my witts end I know that it is very painful to see your friend ruin his life and his child’s life, but you have no control over his decisions. It is very sad that this has happened to your friend; and at the same time, your friend allowed this to happen to him.
It is possible that your friend actually enjoys all of the chaos and drama that this woman brings to his life- it is sick but there are people like that. The only advice that I have for you is to have minimal contact with your friend, because it is too painful to hear all that he tolerates (and creates, just by staying with this woman) in his life. When you do get a call from him and he begins to vent; try not to feed into his victim mentality. He isn’t a victim, he is an active participant in the destruction of his life. For example, if he begins talking about some new chaos/drama that is going on, you can keep it simple and say something like, “wow that sounds so stressful. (validating his feelings) How is your mother doing these days? (changing the subject so that he can’t continue to vent about what a victim he is.)” To change the subject, ask about either something positive in his life or bring up something that is in the current news. It probably will be difficult to change your old pattern of listening to all of his issues, but you are doing this for him as well as for YOU. I wish you the best!
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