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Replies to '08/19 Tired of Being a Mom'
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August 19, 2008, 7:43 pm PDT
 Quote From: ricker1947 This story sadly takes me back to a few months ago. My daughter has 2 beautiful girls age 7 and 9. My daughter got pregnant and they monitored her closely for the possibility of having a Downes Syndrome child, the tests they did led up to the fact the baby indeed had Down Syndrome, she had further tests done that showed up with a lot of red flags about the severity the child may have, she had a large head and other problems , they told her that she would be very disabled and more. They told her she could abort because of the time frame they have to legally do it. We all were very distraught over this and she made the decision to abort for the only reason that she didn't want to see the child suffer with medical problems that would not be to pleasant for the baby. Don't get us wrong we do not believe in abortion which is why she had much difficulty in making that desicion. So our thoughts are did she make the right decision . the way I feel is if you know before hand that the child would be sick and sometimes go thru medical treatment that would make the child suffer and have to go thru difficulties for entire life and there was no cure , wouldn't the baby be better off not to be born and end it before hand. My daughter still deals with the guilt every day, plus the fact that she does have two other younger children to raise and care for. My daughter is a Christian and has horrible guilt over this matter We all hope the decision she made was for the best. why should a mother and child suffer the way this mother did on todays show, and not be able to raise the girls the way they should be raised, my daughter is a very loving mother and gets very upset when one of them are sick or in pain. I'll bet that you will be blasted by a lot of people regarding your daughter's choice to get an abortion...there's sure to be lots of Bible thumping from those on this message boards.....but, here's my personal opinion, for what it's worth: I am a Christian and I am not pro abortion...but, I am pro choice. I do not believe that abortion should be a method of birth control...but that's not what your daughter did, from what you've said.
I don't know that I would have made the same choice....but, I don't know that I wouldn't have, either.
The bottom line is this: I think that each woman who chooses to have an abortion has to deal with the consequences, whatever they may be, both in this world, and when they have to face God...and I think that everyone ought to butt out of that terribly personal decision!
Your body, your choice....your consequences.
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August 20, 2008, 12:18 pm PDT
Quote From: ricker1947 This story sadly takes me back to a few months ago. My daughter has 2 beautiful girls age 7 and 9. My daughter got pregnant and they monitored her closely for the possibility of having a Downes Syndrome child, the tests they did led up to the fact the baby indeed had Down Syndrome, she had further tests done that showed up with a lot of red flags about the severity the child may have, she had a large head and other problems , they told her that she would be very disabled and more. They told her she could abort because of the time frame they have to legally do it. We all were very distraught over this and she made the decision to abort for the only reason that she didn't want to see the child suffer with medical problems that would not be to pleasant for the baby. Don't get us wrong we do not believe in abortion which is why she had much difficulty in making that desicion. So our thoughts are did she make the right decision . the way I feel is if you know before hand that the child would be sick and sometimes go thru medical treatment that would make the child suffer and have to go thru difficulties for entire life and there was no cure , wouldn't the baby be better off not to be born and end it before hand. My daughter still deals with the guilt every day, plus the fact that she does have two other younger children to raise and care for. My daughter is a Christian and has horrible guilt over this matter We all hope the decision she made was for the best. why should a mother and child suffer the way this mother did on todays show, and not be able to raise the girls the way they should be raised, my daughter is a very loving mother and gets very upset when one of them are sick or in pain. Your daughter had to make a very difficult decision. No one can say for sure what they would do in that case unless they have been there. Even then, no two people think alike, so what may be right for one, is wrong for another. If I had a choice of being born with multiple handicaps, and having to face a liftime of suffering, or not being born, I'd hope my mother loved me enough to free me. I may get bashed for saying that, but it is honestly how I feel. Being pro-choice is our right, by law. After seeing that show, I had to ask myself what would have been better for the children? They are here, so they have to be given the best possible care...but WHAT IS THAT???? I saw that little girl from the Ukraine...it was tragic. In my opinion, if there is a family better equipped to care for her, that is where she should be. Then, you look at the flip side...what further damage would be done if she were uprooted...then, you bounce back to what will happen to her if she stays and her mother's feelings do not change...? There is no magic bullit, and you cannot force, shame or instill love into a mother. You look at Alex. This is not good. I understand the reluctance and fears about in house treatment...but to NOT take it, in my mind is worse. The saddest part is that you really cannot ask these children for their opinion...we project our emotions onto them, but Alex may be more comfortable in an in-patient facility, maybe not...and so it goes..on and on ...and it will paralyze you, and the child. Look at the growing popularity of living wills and the assignment of health care proxys to carry out our wishes if we become unable to speak. We have that choice...these children do not. My living will may hault treatment before some else's does. That is our right. Even the Catholic Church does NOT mandate extreme measures to keep a person alive. I would not accept a feeding tube. Someone else will. I have a DNR...does not force it onto you. Your daughter took her situation and she did what she felt was best for her unborn child and for her family...made with pain, suffered guilt, not easy. Had she given birth, she may have felt even more guilt if the child suffered, and she felt she could have prevented it. No easy answers, no judgement need be passed. I know of a family, through a friend, who had a baby two months ago. She seemed fine until she began to seize. Her diagnosis is that she has a very rare condition where one side of the brain is overgrown, while the other is undeveloped. VERY little is known about this, so the parents went to a top hospital where the procedure to stop seizures has been done...less than ten times. They put her under anesthesia for 7 hours, removed the larger part of the brain to the extent they felt was sufficient. Two days later, she seized again. Next surgery is Monday...more removal, another crap shoot...and it is a guarentee that she will be disabled...maybe a vegetable...they do not know. I would have refused...People think I'm playing God, I think the doctors are playing God, and using that baby for more information about the disorder. A few years back, she would have passed away as there was nothing...now they have a "LITTLE" idea of what MAY save her life...in my opinion, the information is not enough at this time and the technique is not perfected to the time when it can be used as a HUMANE tool of treatment. So who is "RIGHT" when it' s all so wrong. You were very brave to post and my wishes are that your family finds peace.
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August 20, 2008, 12:39 pm PDT
Quote From: ricker1947 This story sadly takes me back to a few months ago. My daughter has 2 beautiful girls age 7 and 9. My daughter got pregnant and they monitored her closely for the possibility of having a Downes Syndrome child, the tests they did led up to the fact the baby indeed had Down Syndrome, she had further tests done that showed up with a lot of red flags about the severity the child may have, she had a large head and other problems , they told her that she would be very disabled and more. They told her she could abort because of the time frame they have to legally do it. We all were very distraught over this and she made the decision to abort for the only reason that she didn't want to see the child suffer with medical problems that would not be to pleasant for the baby. Don't get us wrong we do not believe in abortion which is why she had much difficulty in making that desicion. So our thoughts are did she make the right decision . the way I feel is if you know before hand that the child would be sick and sometimes go thru medical treatment that would make the child suffer and have to go thru difficulties for entire life and there was no cure , wouldn't the baby be better off not to be born and end it before hand. My daughter still deals with the guilt every day, plus the fact that she does have two other younger children to raise and care for. My daughter is a Christian and has horrible guilt over this matter We all hope the decision she made was for the best. why should a mother and child suffer the way this mother did on todays show, and not be able to raise the girls the way they should be raised, my daughter is a very loving mother and gets very upset when one of them are sick or in pain. I can't imagine the choice that your daughter was faced with, but I hope that she did some investigation herself. I would encourage anyone pregnant with a child with a disability to visit a support group, a school, or a group home to observe and interact with people with disabilities. A disability is not a death sentence, but it is definitely not an easy life either. Everyone has to make their own choice, but I cannot imagine the children with disabilities I teach being denied a life. |
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