Replies to 'School Issues'

From watching the news, it seems as if there is just one storm after another after another...and all devastating...Have you had to evacuate for any of them? 

Our town has a lot of older people who are done raising kids...I'm really glad that it was voted that for our school district, the school levy only needs a simple majority...much easier to get them passed...when a super-majority was required, it took several tries, and cuts, to get them passed...I think that the older generation under-estimates how much the younger generation impacts their lives and well-being...our future is in their hands...we had better educate them properly...they will be the doctors, nurses, caregivers, business owners, bankers, politicians, and US presidents of our old age...if the school districts are struggling for money, the kids' education is compromised, along with "our" future...so "my" tax money paying for public education really DOES impact EVERYBODY, no matter their age and "kids in school" status...I agree...sigh...

School is back in session...as of last week...Scott has been bringing home math homework every day, but nothing for his other classes...he claims "no homework" for the other classes...today, I am emailing the school counselor for a list of email addresses for his new teachers...and also to schedule the 504 meeting for this year...I'm not sure what accomodations should be made...he should be responsible for himself by this age...but from what the other Boy Scout parents are saying, he isn't the only one who fails to bring home his work...not that it makes it right...just that we're not alone in our struggles with the homework monster...

Matthew is now in 5th grade...he hasn't had any homework yet...and him I believe when he says "no homework"...he has been honest about it all along, so we can take him at his word...I just hope that the pattern of honesty continues.  Mattew starts band today...he will be playing the saxophone...a friend sold us one at a really good price...and it is in good repair and good working condition...it was a "rent-to-own", and she took it in for a final "free repair" before making the last payment...so all of the pads are good to go, and the keys are all properly adjusted...I need to find out about the service contract that the music store offers...they charge a flat rate per year, and that covers all repairs and one cleaning for the year...and saxophones are the most expensive instrument to maintain...better to replace the pads one at a time than to have a complete overhaul at $350!!

John has 3 more weeks of culinary school before he starts his restaurant experience externship for 3 months...and he still hasn't lined up a restaurant...so he is scrambling at the last minute...he plans to come home for the externship...so he has been contacting local restaurants...a couple have said "no", one gave him a mini interview over the phone, and asked him to send his resume, and the rest gave him their email addresses, so he can send them his resume and overview of the externship details.  One place said to come and see them when he gets to town.  John is supposed to check today on whether he has to have a place lined up before the 3 weeks is up, or whether he has a "grace period"...because doing it long-distance is difficult...the restaurant managers/owners will probably want to interview him face-to-face, and at $100 per round trip for gas, he can't afford to make multiple trips...

John was "laid off" from his job...zero hours, and being "on call" for anybody who doesn't show up for their shift...the manager of the place is flakey...several of the employees are on "on call" status...it seems that if an employee makes mistakes, she "punishes" them by taking away their hours...and these are MINOR mistakes, like forgetting to put toast on some of the breakfast plates...partly because the kitchen staff is slow at getting the toast out...he is a server (or was)...we have been after him since January to find another job...but he didn't...my sister in law suggested that he go to the temp agency...maybe get some hours through them...anywhere...but I didn't hear whether he actually got there or called yesterday to follow up...he hasn't heard from them since he applied last week...and he needs money to pay for his gas and parking for the rest of the three weeks, plus money for gas to get home...and money for gas to get out to his restaurant interviews...and if the externship is non-paid, he will need to find a paying job locally, to pay for his gas back and forth...and we don't have spare money laying around to support him...he will live at home during the externship, so he won't have rent...

However, when he is done with school, and working, he will be paying rent to us, which will go into a savings account for him (in our name, so he doesn't have access to it), and when he has enough saved up, he can move into his own apartment, buy furniture, and live on his own...

But, the bombshell came a couple of weeks ago...as if we didn't already have enough stress...(with hubby's knee injury, and the passing of hubby's mom, and pressures of his job, and our volunteer ventures with Boy Scouts and band)...when I went online to pay our cell phone bill, I discovered that John had used up all of our minutes, all of our roll-over minutes, and had gone 1265 minutes OVER...at 45 cents per minute...that's over $550 in overage charges!!   I talked with AT&T, and they reduced it down to $120 in overage charges...very nice of them...and John will be paying every cent of it!!  But that's NOT the WORST of it!!  I grilled him about WHO he had been talking with, and WHAT they could possibly be spending 3 HOURS PER DAY talking about!!  He met somebody online and broke ALL of the internet safety rules by giving out his personal information AND phone number...which we had told him NOT to do...he was only to use his phone for business and school-related calls (calling us is free)...I did a reverse phone number look-up, and we called the home number...it was one kid that he has been talking to...but we told him that on the internet, you don't know who you're talking to...it could be a DOG for all you know!!  (BTW, I'm NOT a dog...I'm a real mom with real kids and real problems)...anyway, our son told us that he is gay, and that he has fallen "in love" with the kid he has been conversing with...he met him on myspace or one of those sites, and he has been spending a bunch of time on live-chat...and then moved to phone conversations...he and this kid were planning on getting an apartment together (the other kid is 18...confirmed by HIS MOM)...thank goodness that neither of them has any MONEY!! I think this kid had a huge influence on our son's "decision"... 

John asked me NOT to share his "news" with DAD...but of course, I did...that's why we've been married for 27 years...NO SECRETS between each other...and hubby appreciated the heads up...

Last night, hubby happened to be in the town where our son is...for his work...he had a heart-to-heart talk with John, and got the full story...and hubby had some hard questions for him...he gave John a graphic description of gay relationships...which made John grimace...a GOOD sign...and hubby told him that he thinks John is confused about those issues...and that he shouldn't worry about it right now...time will tell...right now, he needs put ALL of his focus on school and finding a restaurant for his externship...and we are offering to pay for counseling for him when he comes back into town (confidential, of course...he only needs to share with us what he feels like sharing)...not to sway him in any particular direction, but to give him the tools he needs to cope with life in general, and to help him find direction...actually, I think that ALL young adults need some kind of counseling...some un-biased third party to tell them what we parents have been saying all along...but we as parents can't possibly prepare them for EVERY one of life's circumstances...all we can do is try to give them the tools to figure it out for themselves...

And, I just don't think that John "fits" the "mold" of being gay...and he seems to be fabricating memories...yes, he did play mostly with the girls when he was in day care...the little boys did a lot of hitting, which he didn't like...but that isn't an indication of being gay...and the one girl friend that he had didn't have any "appeal" to him...but she was only ONE girl...and obviously not his match...and being too shy to ask other girls out doesn't mean that he is gay either...Deep down, I just don't see it...maybe I'm just in total denial...but right now, I'm not going to put any more worry into it...time will tell...

As a result of the minutes overage, we have put a block on John's phone for the numbers that he was calling to run up our phone bill...both the cell phone and home number of the kid...but we can't stop him from talking online with him right now...however, when he comes home we will NOT be providing a wireless router for his computer...he will have to use OUR computer to go online...SUPERVISED...and he will NOT be allowed to go to myspace, facebook, or any site like it...only school and work-related sites...and if he breaks the phone rules again, we will take away his phone, and he will have to pay for a pay as you go phone himself...

I definitely feel that the "distractions" are what have kept him from finding a new job, getting his externship lined up, and probably to getting laid-off too...or maybe he let the word out about his "orientation", and the boss didn't like it...we are NOT spreading the word among our family and friends...it's hard to "un-ring" a bell...best not to say anything until he gets straight in his own mind (no pun intended)...Not to discuss politics here, but I really hope that he doesn't let his confusion get in the way of making a good decision on who to vote for in November...we know who WE are voting for...and he has the right to make his own decisions...but he needs to look at ALL of the issues and details about the canditates...most of Washington State (the Eastern half, anyway) is of the conservative mindset...including us...and experience counts!!

Anyway...that's the skinny on our lives...but we did have a fun summer...Scout camp, family reunion, and putting in a pond and waterfall...but our existing fish pond was raided last week by raccoons, who ate all of our fish and destroyed all of our beautiful plants in the process...we are not in a hurry to replace the fish...why feed the raccoons??  Our neighbor down the street feeds the ferral cats...and the raccoons and skunks too!! (and that's why they hang around)...

For all of their "trouble", I painted a cat rock for my brother and his wife...we are so grateful that our son was able to live with them while in school...think of how much trouble he COULD have gotten into (I shudder to think about it!!)...I used some pictures of their cat to paint her portrait...she is a Snowshoe cat...a cross between a Siamese and an American Shorthair...here she is...I'm not sure why the picture showed up so huge...I reduced it on our computer to email size, and I also tried to edit it smaller on this website...anyway...I hope your life is a little less "eventful"...I like mundane better...Becky