Quote From: freetha What gets me in your post is
"their father chooses to be an online narcissist".
When someone is addicted they don't just "choose" to continue to pursue their addiction. They are driven towards it with a severe "need".
You don't say that an alcoholic "chooses" to stay drunk, nor would you accept that an alcoholic is allowed "one beer" and "only on saturdays".
One can not take a person who is addicted to the internet and "allow" them to use the internet at all and expect them not to feed their addiction.
I am glad this discussion is going on.
If someone would have held my hand years ago and acknowledged that I was living with an addict, and to handle the relationship that way, then my decision making would have been clearer.
I truly hope that support becomes available for the people who live with someone who has this addiction.
I used to cry to my friends, my mother, even my minister that I was so sad and my husband was doing nothing to contribute to the family. As long as he had a full time job they insisted that I had to give him his computer time. I was told that he had a "social anxiety disorder" and that the computer was the only thing to relieve his stress. His therapists never looked at how he was not functioning in real life. His social skills decreased over time.
He cannot exist without being the version of himself that he wants to be online.
I even had a marriage therapist suggest that I get my own separate computer and logins so that I could participate online with him. This was unrealistic because then who would be watching the kids!
I was told that I was over reacting too many times, but now see it was because therapists (many of whom were in their 60's at the time) had little or no exposure to online life and could not see its addictive qualities.
I doubt that he has found a therapist who really gets it. But he has to be the one who wants help. I doubt that he does because what he is doing works for him. The enablers in his life pat themselves on the back that at least he is not an alcoholic, but don't get it that what he does is equally destructive.
