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August 27, 2008, 10:58 am PDT
Being a Good Friend
Quote From: kimikomineMarriage is a belief system and certain cultures do not approve of outside relationships with other people that are considered intimate, such a lunch dates, coffee chats, drinks to discuss work, sport activities, etc. It has nothing to do with being sexually attracted to him or not but just their beliefs. I would try to learn a little about that culture first, then you can understand better what your friend might be experiencing.
You are not being selfish or inconsiderate at all to expect certain things, but you must not be too disappointed when what you want is not the reality of the situation. Look at what is, not what you want ti to be like.
I have two really good friends, they are husband and wife, and because I am single they love taking me out because it is a given, its just me and thats all they have to pay for. But when you get a third person in on the equasion, whether by invite or default, it makes it complicated and unclear.
I think you might need to find another dining companion. LOL I understand everything you say, but there is the question about his wife. Why should I have to pay for her, just because she comes along, as I am not friends with her. She and I are cordial to one another but that is it. For the times that we have gotten together that are not my thank you to him, they have paid for me and then the next time I have paid, but I feel almost like I am pressured into paying for her just because she is there. Why should I have to do that? I have always believed in going dutch as "who picks up the tab" can make things uncomfortable and I am going to tell him that I want to do that from now on. I will do something else for him as a thank you.
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