Quote From: cora227I am a 30 something stepmom to 2 elementary school aged boys. They are great kids, but sometimes I feel about ready to throw them out of a moving vehicle. The younger of the two who is 4 years old, pushes buttons like no other. Anytime he is not getting his way or if he is tired or doesn't want to do what we are doing, he'll make comments about his mom's house, obviously pushing the idea that his mom's house is better than ours. He does it often in the mornings on car rides when my husband isn't there. I feel so angry I want to scream but I keep it in check and manage "Oh. Cool." or some similar answer, but I feel like I'm about to explode. Maybe it doesn't sound so bad, but to me, it's very personal. I do everything possible to be a good stepmom, and their dad and I have a great loving relationship. But no matter what, the younger boy always has something to say that makes me remember I'm "not as good" as his other mom or our house isn't as cool as his other house. I am so so so tired of it. I don't know how to address it or if I should address it with him. He is only 4. It boggles my mind how he can push buttons better than anyone I have ever known.
Commenting on the differences between your household and his mother's is not automatically expressing a preference for his mother's way of doing things. Think of it more as him trying to understand the differences between you in order to explain to himself why you do things one way and she does things another way. "That's cool" is a very good response - no negativity expressed about his mother and no concessions given to the idea that you might change things in your household.
