Replies to '08/19 Tired of Being a Mom'

I have to admit that I was taken aback by the post you quoted.  So, I re-read it a couple of times and I honestly felt that it was not meant to offend, but to explain a feeling.  We don't know why some people can handle one thing and not another.  I have seen parents who have lost children and they go on with their lives, being able to find joy.  I do not think I could do that.  Hope I'm never tested, because I think I would be useless.  The estrangement from my daughter almost finished me, to a point where some accused me of NOT caring about my other two children.  Nothing could be further from the truth, but does love for one diminsh with the love for others?  Some seemed to feel that way.  I just don't, so I cried my eyes out...anyone not liking it..too bad.  Odd, my younger daughter told me it made her feel my love was deep and sincere...she would have doubted me had I behaved diffferently, because the love I always professed to have couldn't just "go away" unless it wasn't real.  My son felt the same, so if they accept me, what more could I ask?  So who am I not to accept someone's feelings?  Maybe a bit "phoney".

The post was in keeping with the tone of the show...had the topic been the victories of special needs children, I'd say it was callous and inappropriate.  The show was horrible!  I'd rather a person be honest, not adpot a handicapped child from another country than to see how a person who did it, is living a hellish life...now she'd like to send her back.  Wouldn't it have been best had she KNOWN herself, and not gotten involved.  Maybe Alyssa would have been placed with a better equipped family...different personalities can do different things.

Now what we saw with Alex...I don't know if he was ignored from birth, or this is where it's at for him...I like to look for hope, but nobody gave any promises.  His mother said she may not have had him, if she'd known.  I'm really on the fence with abortion.  I'm lucky that I was not put into a position of having to make that choice.  When I read about the days of backstreet abortions, I lean toward pro-choice. 

It's very wrong to say to someone that if I were you, I would have aborted...but I don't think that's what was said.  To me, it sounded more like "I myself would have had an abortion"...not telling anyone they SHOULD have.  There's a big difference. 

Who knows what that poster has had in her personal life?   Different people, different abilies. 

I'd rather see honesty, as I thought more about this, than what I saw on that show. 

If you know yourself well enough to know you can't, why do it to be a hero,  and live every day with resentment...also end up doing a horrible job...you can't you can't.    As long as the decision is not forced onto other people who feel differently, it is a personal choice, and I can't see any offense intended. 

I have to admit that I was taken aback by the post you quoted.  So, I re-read it a couple of times and I honestly felt that it was not meant to offend, but to explain a feeling.  We don't know why some people can handle one thing and not another.  I have seen parents who have lost children and they go on with their lives, being able to find joy.  I do not think I could do that.  Hope I'm never tested, because I think I would be useless.  The estrangement from my daughter almost finished me, to a point where some accused me of NOT caring about my other two children.  Nothing could be further from the truth, but does love for one diminsh with the love for others?  Some seemed to feel that way.  I just don't, so I cried my eyes out...anyone not liking it..too bad.  Odd, my younger daughter told me it made her feel my love was deep and sincere...she would have doubted me had I behaved diffferently, because the love I always professed to have couldn't just "go away" unless it wasn't real.  My son felt the same, so if they accept me, what more could I ask?  So who am I not to accept someone's feelings?  Maybe a bit "phoney".

The post was in keeping with the tone of the show...had the topic been the victories of special needs children, I'd say it was callous and inappropriate.  The show was horrible!  I'd rather a person be honest, not adpot a handicapped child from another country than to see how a person who did it, is living a hellish life...now she'd like to send her back.  Wouldn't it have been best had she KNOWN herself, and not gotten involved.  Maybe Alyssa would have been placed with a better equipped family...different personalities can do different things.

Now what we saw with Alex...I don't know if he was ignored from birth, or this is where it's at for him...I like to look for hope, but nobody gave any promises.  His mother said she may not have had him, if she'd known.  I'm really on the fence with abortion.  I'm lucky that I was not put into a position of having to make that choice.  When I read about the days of backstreet abortions, I lean toward pro-choice. 

It's very wrong to say to someone that if I were you, I would have aborted...but I don't think that's what was said.  To me, it sounded more like "I myself would have had an abortion"...not telling anyone they SHOULD have.  There's a big difference. 

Who knows what that poster has had in her personal life?   Different people, different abilies. 

I'd rather see honesty, as I thought more about this, than what I saw on that show. 

If you know yourself well enough to know you can't, why do it to be a hero,  and live every day with resentment...also end up doing a horrible job...you can't you can't.    As long as the decision is not forced onto other people who feel differently, it is a personal choice, and I can't see any offense intended.