Quote From: vwikoffMy husband and I met and started dating when we were on the verge of divorcing our exs. I, in a weak moment of not wanting my son to hate me for breaking up his family, was intimate with my first husband one last time, right before I filed the divorce papers. I told my then boyfriend/now husband this. He didn't tell me up until now (3 years later and while he is overseas) that it bothered him. And now, to top it all off, that he found out that long before I met him, I kissed a friend of mine, he is threatening divorce. I understand that the first part hurt him, but I feel I was justified and he doesn't agree.
My questions are: was I totally wrong to sleep with my first husband, even though I was going to be divorcing him; was I wrong to not tell new husband that I had kissed a friend prior to meeting him?
You were in the middle of a life crisis, emotionally scattered, but not wrong. You were still married to the man, anything a married couple does in the bedroom is none of anybody else's business. I would question why you felt the need to tell your then boyfriend now husband, though.
In fact, one could make the case that your now husband was wrong to push himself into your life at a time when you were emotionally vulnerable. This is why it is recommended that people not date for awhile and certainly not marry within about 2 years of a divorce. Women become attached and fall in love easily when they are vulnerable and have sex with a man. Many men know this and prey on women that have had an ego-bashing of some sort.
Men are very territorial when it comes to the women in their lives having sex with another man. Even the ones that are cheating on those women.
