Quote From: ritehereI can't answer the question about why your husband married you if he knew he could not and would not be faithful. I'll bet he can't answer it either, so don't focus on it too much. In my opinion, he sounds like the sort who promises the world and falls down on the follow-through. He wants and expects others to make his life complete, never realizing that it comes from within. You may well come to thank your lucky stars that your time with him was only a year.
But I have to repeat my warning, don't be pushed into any big decisions yet, either by your own tortured emotions or by his urgings. You are emotionally fragile and need time to get better. You must look after yourself and be kind to yourself, and make decisions that will be the best for you.
I would line up a counselor and a lawyer while you have the time to look over your options.
I have been meeting with my Pastor and went to the Christian bookstore and purchased a few books as well. I already have an attornery. i guess in order to heal you have to forgive. I am learning that and it is a daily struggle but I know in my heart that is what I have to do. I can't keeping questioning myself about the what if's and the why's because I will never know. I can look forward to the future and having happiness that I deserve to have.
I had my month check-up today in regards to my surgery, it went fairly well. I feel better talking with the doctor about all these crazy emotions I am having and not being able to tell if it is menapause or depression. LOL he assured me it was both. He put me on a anti-depressant along with my hormone therapy. I am anxious to get back to feeling alive..
Yes I am going through a divorce but I thank God that I didn't have cancer again.. My tumor and cyst that were on my overies came back negative and what a relief. I suffered from cervical and uterine cancer 9 yrs ago and made it through that. So in retrospect I have the gift of life and being he is not part of it is his loss and yes I will mourn but I have to embrace now..
In my darkest hours my husband was not there for me and that alone is a huge statement. The greatest gift I was given was a second chance to life. There is no comparison..I will celebrate..(today)
I think the hardest part is the highs and lows. One day you can feel fine and conquer the world and the next day you can barely get out of bed. I am having a good day..
