Replies to 'Teens and Sex'

Though I don't know you're daughter, by you're discription it seems as if you're daughter has another problem then being sexually active, I think she has a low self asteem and tries to make up for that by being 'cool' in any way possible and sex has been made cool in todays world. 

  

because if she would be just sexually active she wouldn't be asking boys if she is pretty, she wouldn't be lying about the other things you named either (at least not a lot, spicing thing up is quite common between teens) 

  

I think that the situation that you're daughter MIGHT be in is quite dangerous because she MIGHT do a lot of things just to get the attention and to feel pretty which won't work ofcourse. 

  

But I can't give much advice because you first need to ask yourself if she has sexual contact with lots of boys just to get attention or just with one boyfriend, because even though fifteen is quite young to have sex for the first time it is not uncommon. 

  

Also you will need to asses how much she lies about those things, is it on a dayly basis or just once a while to spice up her stories. and to whom does she "lie" (and more importantly to how many, she might just want to impress a boy) and are there :P smilies with that message indicating she tells it for fun.  

  

Maybe you wan't to ask her about her selfasteem but be carefull if you ask it to directly she'll just say everything is fine, ask her lot's of questions on which you can base what kind of self image she has. (e.g. how went Volleyball today? if she answers with fine or bad and the likes ask "What did you do" or "How did you do") if she answers with small answers you won't get any wiser "provoke" her to give longer answers. Also make sure she doesn't get the feeling something's up so make sure you don't ask to much more questions then you are used to. 

  

And again as I said in the last post make sure you talk to her in an adult way because she'll say anything if you get of her back sort to speak. (nothing personal it's just how teens work.) Also talk to her that she shouldn't be to careless when it comes to sex because before you know it your known as a slut which I'm sure she's not. 

My daughter is 13.  She is very pretty (too pretty).  Her father & I got divorced when she was 5.  I remarried  a man with 2 daughters age 11 & 9, 5 years ago.  Her real father doesn't see her on a regular basis.  He works second shift, so that leaves weekends and most of them he's too busy with his own life.  My husband has been so good to her.  He loves her and treats her like is own daughters.  But I think her craving for male attention is because she is missing that from her real dad.  I sometimes wonder if I hadn't divorced him, would she be different now.  She gets phone calls everyday from at least 5 different boys & she's on the phone all the time.  We limited her to 1 hour a day, but she still manages to sneak more time.  I bought a device to record the phone conversations.  OH MY GOD, was I shocked!  It's like she's two different people.  She's telling one boy how much she loves him and she hates to see him flirt with other girls, then another boy calls on the other line and she tells him she loves him and doesn't like the other boy, then she clicks over to the first boy and says "I'm sorry Baby, that was Tommy, he just wont leave me alone.  Can I call you back my mom wants me.  I love you, Baby".  Then she clicks over to the second boy and says "I got rid of that pain."  My biggest question is how do I handle this with her without letting her know I've heard every word she said???  If I let her know I've been listening she'll never tell me anything again, and we have a pretty open relationship compared to most.  She pretty much tells me everything. that's why this just shocked me.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated!