Replies to 'Spirited Kids'

I'm sorry I have no advise to give you. I hope that the pediatrician that you saw can give you some help. My children are very vocal. They have never hit me, but they can scream loud enough for 50% of our town to hear. I am a police officer, and I have been on many calls where the parents don't know what to do, so they call me. Maybe using an authority figure (someone other than mom and dad) to tell your child that his behavior is not acceptable would help. Again, I'm sorry I can't help anymore than that, but I'm at a dead end with my own children. Good luck.

hey girl, don't be so down.  I was glad to see your concerns and hope that as a mom I can offer some advice.  I have a 4 year old, too.  my childis a pain in the rear, and I am proud of his mischevious ways.  you know that a spirited baby is a smart baby, this child doesn't agree with your boundries.  when we don't agree with authority we vote, our children aren't that complicated, so they let us know the only way they know how.   

you are doing great by talking to your child, that teaches your child how to replace bad behaviors with good behaviors.  however, you may need to try some new tactics to show him who's boss.  yes, your child can have an opinion, yes, you should show him he is valuable by discussing his opinion, but NO, he cannot react in such inapropriate ways when you, the main authority, sets the rules.   

I tried a strategy that I discovered while watching dr. phil, and it changed my son. 

try this, 

set aside two hours or so, and take your child somewhere fun.  on the way, explain to your child that if he misbehaves you will have to leave.  pretty much, set your kid up to be a pain in the butt.  when your child misbehaves, stop.  get down to his level and say "if you repeat this behavior, we are leaving."  when he does it, grab his butt and leave.  you may have to do this several times.   

it doesnt matter if the store is your problem or not, if you do this consistently, your child will see that you are serious, and behaviors will change. 

please take may advice and use it.  you can apply the basic principle of this tactic to almost any situation. 

I promise it worked for me, and I have raised six children.  your child is a gift from God, and it is your obligation to raise him to the best of your ability.  I know it's hard to deal with an overly inteligent child, but if you mold his behaviors now he will be a much better person for the rest of his life. 

good luck 

I have a daughter who is spirited.  I just found this out of pure desperation, I looked up on the internet 'how to raise a difficult todder.'  So it's only been few days, and my daughter is 1.5 years old.  Like your child, she has raised hell since the moment she came hom and had colic.. and I could not put her down until she started walking.  When I read your story, it makes me want to cry for all the mom who have these 'special' children.  My daughter has biten my 3.5 year old son like 31 times as I counted and I just wanted to hurt her.  My desperation came with that with my daugher, diciplining and being abusive gets really blurry for me.  And I do not believe in spaking, and I have spanked her twice and she practically laughed in my face... when it comes to my non-spirited child, I am a great mom and with my daughter I have realized that I have become resentful of her because I feel like I am failing miserably, and in public it is humiliating.  I have been reading stories, and I am motified of what is coming up for me with her.  After  reading the web sites, and seeing discription of my daughter in more positive perspective and getting more information, it's already changed things between her and I.  I look at her like a intelligent adult stuck in a baby's body, and a intelligent adult who is a forighner.  I explain everything to her, and I read that these children are rebellions.  Which my daughter is.  Therefore, when I try to control her or yell at her she immediately with fight me to no end.  I can't belive I am treating this baby girl like an adult, but in last few days our fighting has stoped.  And my mom is also getting me a specialist counselor to teach me how to be more effective with her.   And if you would like, I would love to share these informations with you.  I feel an incredible bond with moms like us, because I have never encountered anything as crazy and frustrating as this before and it is so hard on our self esteem as moms.   I'm sorry that all I can only offer you is sympathy, I just started on this journey and I am just learning.  If your pediatrician have any good advice I hope you'll share it with us.  Thank you... and YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB! I know this because I know you work your butt off! and that's all anyone can ask out of us.