Quote From: davidhj Hello everyone!
Well I need some help and advice. It has been almost a year since I found out my wife was having an affair. I suspected it, but of course she denied it until I found an email that he had sent to her with a photo of them having sex. Big shock! She feels horrible and didn't even want the photo's, but he took them anyway and then sent one to her. Of course it was the most graphic photo. My question is why would he send it anyway? I have a feeling it was for me, but I can't prove it. He said he accidental sent it to the wrong email address. Whatever!
Anyway, 90% of the time I am doing great, but that 10% I am real sick of. I can be having a great day and then either the picture comes into my mind or something else does. It has almost been a year. You would think I would be doing better then I am. We are in counseling and that is helping. My wife feels very guilty for putting me through this pain and is doing everything she can to help.
I just need some words of advice.
This guy has done this sort of thing with other women hasn't he?
I agree with you, this jerk sent that photo so that you would see it. And you did. And it haunts you and your wife in your efforts to move on.
I want you to think about this guy, what would make a man this vindictive? What could possibly be his hang-ups to not only cheat with married women, but to want to destroy their lives, and the lives of their husbands afterwards?
It must be hell to be him. His only claim to feeling good about himself involves lies, deception, deliberate hurting of others, and inflicting pain.
I'm not asking you to feel pity for this scum-bag. I'm just saying that the longer you let this haunt you, the longer he wins. He has no other way to feel above others unless he can see their agony and pain.
Don't give it to him.
I would suggest looking into ways to diminish the pictures in your head. Anthony Robbins has some good cognitive therapy techniques in his books on how to do this, or ask your counselor about ways to do this. It can really help.
