Quote From: slayereveI am 23 years-old, and recently found a job through a summer youth program. I work at a food bank. This is where I met a guy I will call "Joe." Joe and I have been flirting, but the last few days it kind of wound down. I could see it in his eyes that he was thinking about not starting a relationship with me. He told me to give it time several weeks ago, and so I figured that I was being paranoid about the look in his eyes, because I am self-conscious. I am upset because I have been very distrustful of relationships, and then I meet "Joe," who is good looking, intelligent, and nice. I have lost a lot of respect for him, as he had none for me. Instead of talking with me privately, he had a conversation with other co-workers behind my back, then had another guy "Ben" tell me that he wasn't interested in a relationship. Am I disappointed, yes; do I respect his wishes? Definately. My problem, is that either a guy flirts, but doesn't ask me out; other guys only make comments about my body, so I avoid relationships with them (most times). I haven't dated in 2 years; my last date broke up with me the day after Valentine's Day, and I have never had an actual boyfriend, though my younger sisters and brother have had long term relationships. I am wonder, what am I doing wrong? What am I supposed to do to attract a good looking, intelligent, and nice man. What is wrong with me?
I'm 35, single dad and might be able to help by sharing my opinion.
You seem like a very sweet person, but maybe a little to insecure. I think its very hard on yourself to inflict the self critizism of "what's wrong with me." NOTHING. The fact that you are trying to better yourself is healthy. I have done alot of soul searching over the years , and it's hard sometimes not to beat yourself up. But I understand that it doesn't help you to keep a positive frame of mind. Myself, I have found that jogging is a release, or playing with my son has proven to be best remedy for the daily dundrums. We as people should always be trying to be more. And you are.That shows that your hearts is in the right place.
We each have principles, and prorities in life. I think we are to forever grow and try our best to love and respect each other. Mainly ourselves. For what I know about you, your 23 , and seem very compassionate. Spreading "good will" is your work. This demonstrates the best qualities of human nature. To be caring, and thoughtful. The feel empathy for others. I wish you could see yourself for the special human being you are. And far too rare these days.
I don't know the situation and I don't like to critisize someone I don't know, but if "Joe" doesn't have the integrity or respect to be open, and honest with you this early into the relatiopnship (just professional, friendship or more) How could he be true in the hard times, when it really counts in our lives. But try to take it with a grain of salt. No hard feelings, if he's not interested there IS someone out there that will show you the love and respect that you deserve.
I have not been in a "relationship" since my son's mom 4 yrs ago. And I admit I'm being very careful of not confusing my son by getting to know women around my him, (and until I got on the internet that was next to impossible, since I spend most of my time with Matthew) But even so, sometimes it feels like I'll NEVER find someone to love and cherish,and to grow and share a life with. But I believe that by staying positive, and loving the ones around to us, that good things will come. Karma.
It's not you, your not doing anything wrong . I know it sounds like a cliche' but follow your heart. Do what YOU think makes you a better person, and by owning that and being of proud of that. By loving the person you are, love finds you. I wish you all the sweet goodness in life that you deserve, and much more.:)
daddy-o
