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Topic : 09/06 Mr. Mooch

Number of Replies: 271
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Created on : Friday, February 10, 2006, 12:48:25 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 02/15/06) Dr. Phil talks to women who are the family breadwinners and are sick of living with freeloaders. Sarah says she's tired of supporting the man in her life -- and she's not even married to him yet! Her fiancé, Dan, worked just four weeks last year -- and only because he was ordered to by the courts. Sarah constantly begs him to get a job, has kicked him out three times, and says that if she doesn't hide her purse, he'll steal her money! Should she walk down the aisle with a man who wanted her to buy her own engagement ring? Then, Tricia makes three times as much as her husband, Glenn. She also does all the housework, takes care of their daughter and manages the finances -- after working a 12- to 16-hour day. Will Glenn ever step up to the plate? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

 

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February 14, 2006, 1:49 pm CST

02/15 Mr. Mooch

Quote From: daharh1963

Congrats on finding a job.  Student loans are overwhelming.  I've been there.  I'm a single parent of a 13 yr old - have mortgage, car payment, insurance, a 13 yr old who's growing out of his clothes constantly.  Setting goals helped me.  I made up my mind I'd save enough money to buy a nicer home, and needed a good down payment before I could afford the mortgage.  Three yrs later, we moved into a beautiful home.  Maybe getting a temporary part-time job to supplement your income would help with your student loan payments.  Just try not to get comfortable with your current situation.  Have a plan in place to move your life forward.  You'll feel so much better when you're on your own.  My first apartment was 20' x 20' - tiny, but I felt like a queen because it was mine.  Good luck.
 Thank you. Yeah I definitely have other goals planned. I plan on going to law school within the next year and right now I am saving money to take a prep course for the LSATs.  I do have a budget and I am determined to reach my goals. So thanks for the encouragement.
 
February 14, 2006, 4:02 pm CST

02/15 Mr. Mooch

Quote From: lovelilee

 Thank you. Yeah I definitely have other goals planned. I plan on going to law school within the next year and right now I am saving money to take a prep course for the LSATs.  I do have a budget and I am determined to reach my goals. So thanks for the encouragement.

I have two brothers who will mooch off of my parents everyday. They come over and ask them if they could barrow some money they always say no thow. The are supporting a one year old and them selfs and then in eight months a nothr baby. 

  

By, 

 Katrina  

 
February 14, 2006, 4:40 pm CST

It might work

Quote From: daharh1963

Hi Tricia - the Dr. Phil show you are featured in hasn't aired yet, but just reading the description made me crazy.  An idea - I know you're doing all of the housework, etc.  Why don't you try not touching any of your husband's laundry.  Just do for you and the kids.  If he leaves a mess, let it be.  Then perhaps he'll notice how much you do.  If he runs out of toiletries, etc, don't buy replacements for him.  Anything that only effects him I wouldn't do.  I know several men like this - you'd think they'd be embarrassed.
Yes, if he can't see it, he can't use or eat it. If it is dirty, he must wash it or use it dirty. Stop doing things for him, you are just telling him that it's okay to be lazy and worthless.
 
February 14, 2006, 11:13 pm CST

Too lazy to mooch!

 Hi I am new.....can't believe I just signed up because of this very reason.. My husband refuses to do anything extra or even just whats expected to help pay the bills and mortgage.  We just sold a wonderful home so he could afford his half in a smaller home, now he can't even afford $600.00. He has a job but chooses not to work much, wants out of his job, but doesn't try to find another. He wants me to support him and keep us afloat. I have had it and refuse to piss away what I have worked for most of my life because my 40 year old husband wants to sit around and watch tv.  I want to leave him but still trying to make it work. Can't believe I missed this show today!!!! Any one want to tell me to kick him in the A*^!
 
February 15, 2006, 4:34 am CST

Undecided


for Sarah
Im no expert  I only have life experiences to share.
20 years ago I met a man that told me  that he was an alcoholic .I loved him very much but couldn't marry him until I new what he was like drunk .I wanted to know if drinking made him violent or not.
He is a very gentle and romantic man when he drinks.
I feel that Sarah must find out  if he is or not a alcoholic.
 The only way to do this is to let him go and let God take care of him.
It's real hard to do especially when you love him . I had to do this when I was married  and 2 children later . I had 17 wonderful years with him .I took away the supply and everything he loved in his life and that is what made my husband change. ? If someone wants to loose weight  you wouldnt give that person 1/2 a black forest cake !!!!!!!!! do the same for those that drink .

 
February 15, 2006, 5:59 am CST

What about the "moochee"?

Quote From: lovelilee

 hmmm............ hanging onto coatails not really. insecure or depressed not so much.

I agree with you that some of the moochers must be insecure & have low self esteem or perhaps, passive aggressive. I always wonder about the person that's being mooched off of. Why would they allow another person to use them. I guess I see it as the person being used is the one that has the lower self esteem. I think Dr. Phil is attempting to help those people attain some self worth so they don't allow themselves to become door mats to the parasites. Of course when that happens the user has to change or move on to another willing "moochee".  

I hope Dr. Phil got through to Sarah and she sends her moocher out the door for good! 

 
February 15, 2006, 6:06 am CST

Mr Mooch...needs to go

I'm sorry she needs to dump him... Buy Love Samrt and replace his sorry sad butt.  RULE #1... Men do not change... She will have trouble and stress all her life.   He can't possibly be that great in bed...lol
 
February 15, 2006, 6:17 am CST

02/15 Mr. Mooch

Quote From: lovelilee

 Did anyone ever stop to think about the many different circumstances which could leave a person dependent on others?  For example, where do you go if you suddenly lose your job and apartment? If you suddenly become too sick to work, or if you've just transitioned from college to the "real world"? The ladder example is the situation that I am currently in. Upon completion of college I hit the pavement everyday looking for work. Finally thank goodness I am now employed, but however I am also overwhelmed by student loan repayments. I just feel as though once I find some stability something else comes and knocks me down . NO I am not condoning this behavior of being a mooch, but what I am saying is that you cannot judge someone because they are living at home. Unlike some others that I have seen on the dr. phil show, I am making an effort to be on my own.  I contribute to the household by buying groceries, and paying some bills.

Amen to this--student loans are horrible, and it took me forever to find a job when I got out of college.  Well, not forever, but five months--not even the fast-food placed had openings since there are so many high school kids in my area.  It took me even longer to find a job that paid a living wage.  Arrgh.  Nothing sucks like working full-time and LOSING money.  I had to use what I'd saved in college to pay my health insurance. 

  

That first woman is nuts, though.  That guy's admitting that he's just bleeding her dry and isn't going to make any real effort to pull his own weight.  I can't believe she said any of that was fuzzy.   

 
February 15, 2006, 6:32 am CST

Spending out of house and home

I am confused about the second couple, where he earns less than she does.... I do agree that he should do more to help her out, so that she sees that he wants to and is trying to contribute, but I'm surprised that nothing was really said about her spending.  

  

I've only been married for about two years, but I believe that it's our money, not mine and his. I make less than my husband does, there have been times where he's made less than me. It's our money in the end.  If we go out and spend beyond our means, then it hurts us both, our financial situation. If she buys that bed set, it's not like it's only hurting him.  They admitted that they still live like they have the money they used to have, like by going out to eat, buying things, trips, ect....  

  

Normally I usually agree w/ what Dr. Phil has to say, but I'm still wondering why he didn't bring this up. He consistently defines marriage as a partnership, and he even did here, but if the husband does the dishes, contributes more around the house, yet they never curb thier spending, how long are they going to have that house to live in?  

  

 
February 15, 2006, 7:43 am CST

Dr. Phil Didn't Get To The Real Issue

Quote From: realmaria

I agree with you that some of the moochers must be insecure & have low self esteem or perhaps, passive aggressive. I always wonder about the person that's being mooched off of. Why would they allow another person to use them. I guess I see it as the person being used is the one that has the lower self esteem. I think Dr. Phil is attempting to help those people attain some self worth so they don't allow themselves to become door mats to the parasites. Of course when that happens the user has to change or move on to another willing "moochee".  

I hope Dr. Phil got through to Sarah and she sends her moocher out the door for good! 

I don't think Dr. Phil got to the real problem with this lady.  She has such a low self-esteem and low self-confidence that she does not want to be alone at any cost.  She couldn't say she wouldn't marry him only that she couldn't marry him "this way".  She needs counseling to understand what her real issue is.  Unless she does, she'll be in another relationship as soon as this one is over because she's afraid to be alone.  I've been there..."No one will love me...I'm not pretty enough...I'm not smart enough..."  Some people need to be loved and unless they know the root cause, life will be hard.  Counseling is her key.  It was mine.
 
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