Quote From: cozychic Hi I am new.....can't believe I just signed up because of this very reason.. My husband refuses to do anything extra or even just whats expected to help pay the bills and mortgage. We just sold a wonderful home so he could afford his half in a smaller home, now he can't even afford $600.00. He has a job but chooses not to work much, wants out of his job, but doesn't try to find another. He wants me to support him and keep us afloat. I have had it and refuse to piss away what I have worked for most of my life because my 40 year old husband wants to sit around and watch tv. I want to leave him but still trying to make it work. Can't believe I missed this show today!!!! Any one want to tell me to kick him in the A*!
I think we have a lot in common. My husband does exactly the same while I work 2 jobs 7 days a week! he will not take the overtime his boss is offering him (I do that all the time). We struggle financially becuase of his stupidity. He used to drive trucks across country and he lost his temper, driving the truck through the fence because he waited too long for the load. Not only he got terminated immediately, he missed his sign-in bonus by a month and no other trucking company will hire him. He has too many unpaid speeding tickets so his driving record is bad. Also he was in prison 21 years ago and the felony is another reason why some of the better companies will not hire him. i think this is not fair but besides the point is not an excuse not to try harder to find a better paying job than minimum wage. I work during the day at the corporate ofice as a secretary and wait tables at night. My tips are literally paying for food, electric and gas because my office job doesn't pay much. My husband can spend all evening on the couch watching tv or playing computer games and believe me, when I come back home late at night from the resturant with some good tips he is more tired than I am and of course grumpy, unloving and cold. Yes, I think about stepping out of my comfort zone and giving him an ultimatum but we have so many financial obligations that it scares me sometimes to be on my own. Technically I can make it on my own, I did it before as a single mom for 9 years. My husband never lived on his own, there was always someone taking care of him: prison, his Dad who died 5 years ago, his trailer trash ex-girlfirend who by the way was 20 years older than him(just thinking about her feels disguisting) and some of his friends with whom he lived in a past. He could not hold a job for more than 9 months after he left prison. No wonder his resume is extremely long. he will just sit there and complain that nobody wants to hire him. I tried to be more assertive with him and told him to get off the couch and do something but this only created alot of fights and frustration. Right now I just stepped back and realized that my priorities are my daughter and being the best i can be at my jobs. I have to live my life like he didn't exist. If his majesty decides to help with a household - great, I thank him for it and accept but never depend or count on him. Plan my finances like I was on my own, maybe one day he will realize that he is alienated and step up to the plate. I'm being quiet now and doing what I'm supposed to to - support our family, put the bread on the table and provide roof over our heads. I know that I cannot live like this for long, but when the day comes to draw the line I know I'll feel it in my heart.
All ladies supporting moocher husbands - I salute you (like in that rock song) :) Rock on girls! We are much smarter and stronger than those moochers we love. We can survive and bounce back from all trials. We are special kind of women - smart and courageous, never forget that.
Hard working Polish immigrant in Texas
(Original Air Date: 02/15/06) Dr. Phil talks to women who are the family breadwinners and are sick of living with freeloaders. Sarah says she's tired of supporting the man in her life -- and she's not even married to him yet! Her fiancé, Dan, worked just four weeks last year -- and only because he was ordered to by the courts. Sarah constantly begs him to get a job, has kicked him out three times, and says that if she doesn't hide her purse, he'll steal her money! Should she walk down the aisle with a man who wanted her to buy her own engagement ring? Then, Tricia makes three times as much as her husband, Glenn. She also does all the housework, takes care of their daughter and manages the finances -- after working a 12- to 16-hour day. Will Glenn ever step up to the plate? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.
