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Topic : 08/14 Trouble in the Spotlight

Number of Replies: 570
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Created on : Friday, February 10, 2006, 12:49:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 02/16/06) Every parent thinks his or her child is special, but these mothers are obsessed with making their child a star -- so much so, they're willing to sacrifice their marriages and divide their families. Kari and Bonnie are sisters who are at war because Bonnie encourages her 8-year-old daughter to wear make-up, false teeth and spray-on tans to compete in high-glitz beauty pageants. Kari says the pageants should be outlawed, and fears her niece will become prey for pedophiles. Will Bonnie learn to see Kari's point of view? Then, Ranel is convinced her daughter is the next Dakota Fanning and will stop at nothing to see her child's name in lights. Her husband, Charles, says she's neglecting their younger daughter and their marriage. Can they come to an agreement? And, a mother faces criticism and mockery for putting her 6-year-old son in beauty pageants. Is she making a mistake? Talk about the show here

 

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February 11, 2006, 8:23 am CST

Never

I don't think children should be put in beauty pagents at all.  What kind of a message are we sending our daughters by telling them the only way to look beautiful and to get attention is to put on makeup and prance around.  Someone should love our daughters for what is on the inside, not what is superficial.  These girls will probably grow up having real problems with body image because they are told to look perfect, but no one can look perfect.  I think most of the time it is the mothers who are pushing them into this.  I would never put my daughter in one of these competitions, I put her in higher regard and have more respect for her life and how she will be when she grows older.
 
February 11, 2006, 11:34 am CST

Good Grief not again!!!

With the exception of Jon Benet, I can't remember the last time a national news story involved an abducted/abused/kidnapped child beauty queen.  Most of the time it's some poor child minding their own business playing outside or it's where a family acquaintance/relative has snatched them up.   That said, if any hobby is ruining your life you need to get yourself together.   I appreciate the "sensationalism" of pageants draws viewers but the problem isn't pageants, its how their handled by the mom/family.   

 
February 11, 2006, 5:21 pm CST

You really have no idea

Quote From: aikimommee

With the exception of Jon Benet, I can't remember the last time a national news story involved an abducted/abused/kidnapped child beauty queen.  Most of the time it's some poor child minding their own business playing outside or it's where a family acquaintance/relative has snatched them up.   That said, if any hobby is ruining your life you need to get yourself together.   I appreciate the "sensationalism" of pageants draws viewers but the problem isn't pageants, its how their handled by the mom/family.   

No you will never see me on this show and for one good reason. You never see the children asked if they like to do this or not. I look at it like this, its a sport and maybe even a career. You have no idea what kind of good pageants do. They help kids be outgoing, personable, good speakers, attentive, high self esteem, and well groomed. I have done numerous pageants with my daughter and have not once had a problem with any pedophiles nor have i seen or heard about another pageant parent or child. When you go to a pageant you see who is with who and if someone is there by them self and without child or family supporting child/ren they are watched like halks and even asked if anyone can help them. Honestly, if you don't know much about them except what you see about them on TV then you really have NO IDEA!!!!!!
 
February 12, 2006, 7:03 am CST

02/16 Trouble in the Spotlight

Quote From: elffie

I don't think children should be put in beauty pagents at all.  What kind of a message are we sending our daughters by telling them the only way to look beautiful and to get attention is to put on makeup and prance around.  Someone should love our daughters for what is on the inside, not what is superficial.  These girls will probably grow up having real problems with body image because they are told to look perfect, but no one can look perfect.  I think most of the time it is the mothers who are pushing them into this.  I would never put my daughter in one of these competitions, I put her in higher regard and have more respect for her life and how she will be when she grows older.
I agree with you, these children should not be pranced around like a life size Barbie. These kids are not having the chance to be kids. Plus they are given the wrong perception about weight and looks. Beauty comes from the inside not from what is on the outside. Also we are opening up a chance for a  pedophile access to our children. These dreams of winning beauty contest are parents living out their dreams ........
 
February 12, 2006, 7:22 am CST

Whatever happened to....

letting kids try different things? If my daughter wanted to try a pageant, I would let her. I think you have to have balance. She also likes gymnastics and Tae Kwon Do.  If she expresses an interest in something, we let her try it to see if it is for her or not. (Assuming we can afford the interest. I won't be buying a horse anytime soon! LOL! :) )  I think if something is starting to take over your child's life and does not let them have free time, it is time to step back. Any activity that suggests that your child is not good enough the way she is should also be suspect. Just make sure there is balance and everything will be OK. 

  

Steph 

 
February 12, 2006, 9:13 am CST

Pageants

I've had lots of great family times with my daughter doing pageants.  What some people don't understand is that it is like a sport and like many sports there are some people that get obsessed and go overboard. When I was 3, I won a tiny paper crown in a photo contest. My mom and I never did more with it and I grew up taking gymnastics, swimming and going to Girl Scouts etc. Over the years I went through a lot of  the same peer pressure that many kids go through today  but everytime another child would try to tell me I was ugly or worthless I wouldn't believe them.  Why???  It sounds crazy but it was because I won that little paper crown!!  After doing pageants with my daughter I know now that is wasn't a huge deal but I gave me a LOT of confidence. I know  you don't need a tiara to be confident it was probably my parents love that got me through my preteen years unscathed.  I mention above that I have had many great times with my daughter in pageants. Trips to Florida and Cape Cod, and group of great friends that come from all over that get together with the same interests many weekends a year. There are fathers, mother, grandmothers and siblings and they all make up a great big family that share good times and bad times and all keep in touch via the computer during the week.  Like sports some one is going to win and someone is going to lose  but in pageants usually with consolation prizes so the child is clueless they all think they won.  It is a myth that the prettiest kid wins these contests!!  That's not true all all. It's the contestant that can "get it all together".   And lets face it it is a visual world out there and in the business world it is the guy who can get it all together and focus that is going to succeed.  Yes, I know we are talking about children here and it is unfair to keep a child involved in an activity that they don't like to do but if as parents we let them quit all the time after they started something???  You know what I mean take piano, quit, take skating quit, etc etc  One day they will find something they like and if that is beauty pageants with my daughter then fine, if it is acting fine,  soccer etc etc I will support her.  If she says sjhe wants to quit after I've invested a lot of time & money they we need to continue for a while and think about it.   One thing I will say is a child will not consistantly win at pageants or any other sport unless they enjoy what they are doing most of the time.  Flippers aren't anymore harmful to a kids self esteem then braces.  They are used when the teeth aren't perfect and the child isn't old enough to have them corrected. I saw the make up on Madison on the website re: flippers and wonder who did it because that isn't pageant type makeup and it is not the norm in the pageant world.  

  

 
February 12, 2006, 9:25 am CST

general opinions

 I personally have no problem with pagents, but I don't really advocate them either.  For the right  child and done in moderation I think particiaption in pagents can be just as healthy as any other  organized activity a child can be involved in.   I think the child and the parents need to be in the right frame of mind when allowing the child to engage in ANY competitive activity.

In cases where ANY activity  competitive or not begins to control the child's life or begins to be a detriment to the family then it should stop.   I think a lot parents want their children to be successful at something and be recognized as outstanding at something because they feel their child IS outstanding.  But I think most parents would rather see their child be happy and healthy.  So if any activity is jeaopardizing a child's long term best interest  then it should stop.  I think parents and children have to be honest with their motives about participating in competitive activities.   If both the PARENT AND THE CHILD are enjoying themselves, and the child is reaping the benefits then it's fine. 
 
February 12, 2006, 11:09 am CST

i think it is good for the most part

i think it is good for kids ,for the most part ...it helps boost their self confidence...i think some parents do take it too far ...but if the kids are having fun and they like doing it what is wrong with that...maybe it will help build a strong mother daughter bond ...if my daughter wanted to be in them i would help her and be there to support her all the way...best of luck to all the girls and moms ....
 
February 13, 2006, 1:23 pm CST

to mom why

   

 I have a beautiflu 17 year old daughter of my own.With all that make up and fake teeth.Where is the child > I have seen many pictures of child pagents.I think in many ways it is telling the kid your not good enough if you aren't made up.I think they don't have enough time to be kids.As it is when amny parents get to envolved in wat they want and not what is best for the child.I think it would be good to be in a pagent IF there was not make up aloud.No makeing the child do some rediculas dog trick. I belive young kids should be kids.little girls should not be made to or aloud to ware make up.I did as a parent let my daughter play with my make up and I did but her play make up.But thier is a big diffrence in what they do in pagents. 

 
February 13, 2006, 1:56 pm CST

shallow values

Entering young kids in beauty pagents teaches them at a very young age that looks are all that matter.  We have enough shallow people floating around.  Do we need to be passing these "values" on to kids? A few posts back someone said that pageants are not about looks. Yeah, right!  I have even read a post on the boards here (I believe it was in reference to the show about the beauty queen who couldn't find love) where someone tried to pass off pageants as being about talent and volunteer work. So when  did an average but talented and hard working volunteer girl ever win Miss America?  Yeah, you got it....NEVER!!! If ever that did happen, I'd applaud the contest for finally developing real values.  But no, sadly it is a shallow contest that is really all about looks, looks, looks.
 
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