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Topic : Military Families Support

Number of Replies: 166
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Sunday, February 12, 2006, 07:30:53 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Having a loved one serving in the military can be stressful especially during these trying times.  Share your support and advice with other service men and women, and family members of those proudly serving our country.

NOTE: This is a support board, not a debate board and any messages counterproductive to this topic will be removed.

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September 21, 2007, 2:14 pm CDT

Hi

HI. I'm new to the boards but I am a 23 year old armywife with my husband doing his second tour in Iraq. He's been gone 11 months with three more to go :( I know I've completed most of this tour but the thought of dealing with our 3 year old alone  for another three months makes me want to scream! Lately I feel like I'm always yelling at her and losing my temper. Anyone have any advice on how to deal better?

 

Lauren

 
November 28, 2007, 8:55 pm CST

Military Families Support

 

As a Nation, we need to get behind our veterans when they come home from the war. Sometimes coming home from war, Vets’ are reluctant to talk about certain aspects of their experience. I was most reluctant about issues that I feared would make me cry.  Family and friends need to show their veteran how very interested they are in their experiences and stories. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, that’s how he knows your really interested.  For some reason we Americans think our Veterans are crazy after surviving war. I learned, on my third day home, from Viet Nam, that I must never mention the war to anyone.

I needed to tell someone how angry I was.

I needed to tell somebody how sad I was.

I wanted so much, to tell my family and friends the pride and honor I felt for having served.

There are so many things I could have said back then. I needed so much to vent to someone, but I couldn’t. I had to do what “Real Men do“, bottle it all up inside and forget about it.

Some of the choices Warriors make to cope are not the best for them or their families. A man can only do what he knows.

 
November 28, 2007, 8:59 pm CST

Help your Veteran

 

As a Nation, we need to get behind our veterans when they come home from the war. Sometimes coming home from war, Vets’ are reluctant to talk about certain aspects of their experience. I was most reluctant about issues that I feared would make me cry.  Family and friends need to show their veteran how very interested they are in their experiences and stories. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, that’s how he knows your really interested.   For some reason we Americans think our Veterans are crazy after surviving war. I learned, on my third day home, from Viet Nam, that I must never mention the war to anyone.

I needed to tell someone how angry I was.

I needed to tell somebody how sad I was.

I wanted so much, to tell my family and friends the pride and honor I felt for having served.

There are so many things I could have said back then. I needed so much to vent to someone, but I couldn’t. I had to do what “Real Men do“, bottle it all up inside and forget about it.

Some of the choices Warriors make to cope are not the best for them or their families. A man can only do what he knows.

 
December 13, 2007, 3:45 pm CST

From one army wife to another

Quote From: armywife82203

HI. I'm new to the boards but I am a 23 year old armywife with my husband doing his second tour in Iraq. He's been gone 11 months with three more to go :( I know I've completed most of this tour but the thought of dealing with our 3 year old alone  for another three months makes me want to scream! Lately I feel like I'm always yelling at her and losing my temper. Anyone have any advice on how to deal better?

 

Lauren

The best advice I can give: Take a break. Get a babysitter at least once a week and have some "you" time. If you do nothing other than watch soaps and soak in a hot tub, "You" time is very important. If your husband was home you would have it but with him deployed, you don't. A lot of women do not even realize it. Do not feel guilty about needing time for yourself. The best thing you can do for your baby is to be the best "you" you can be. A few hours of relaxation per week, will keep you from getting so frustrated with her. If you happen to be around other army wife mother's, take turns. If you happen to be on or close to post, check with the FRG they usually have knowledge of free or reduced cost daycare.

 
December 31, 2007, 8:35 am CST

Christmas cards for overseas troops

[originally posted on 1 More Yellow Ribbon] This year, 2007, I wanted to send a few (+/- 10) overseas soldiers a Christmas Card .  I  wrote around to different people on the internet for mailing addresses.  I received 720 requests for Christmas cards. 
I didn't want to let anyone down, so I asked stores for card donations and set up tables at shops in town so people could write a note to a soldier if they wanted. The response I received was wonderful!   People lined up to write and sign cards, and donate money for more cards and postage.   In the end, I was able to send a total of 1690 cards.  I want to do it again next year (only bigger!) and am asking for your help now.  And since it's after Christmas now, all Christmas cards are on sale.  All donations of Christmas cards will be sent to soldiers far away from their homes and families.  Every card will also include a prayer for the soldier's safety and God's blessing.  I'm probably asking the wrong group, but I'm open for suggestions too!  Any help any of you can give would be so greatly appreciated.  And send me your soldier's name/address too! Cynthia Craker   c.german@sbcglobal.net
 
January 22, 2008, 2:52 pm CST

I Need An Army!

Hello All,

 

My daughter was deployed to Iraq for 15 months. Her ex husband was granted temporary custody of their two children. While she was there she had to prepare for her fight when she returned. She spent  THOUSANDS of dollars in attorney fees. The hearing was several weeks ago and the judge declared that since the children had been with the dad for almost a year and a half, it was in their best interest to remain with him. The ex husband did not have an attorney. If the courts already know how they will rule, Should we consider the attorney fees she paid extra punishment for following the orders of the Army?

I wrote a song to try and bring attention to her story and others like her. I had to worry about her safety  in Iraq then accompany her to court to see her children taken as if she was unfit. Please search the subject above on you tube.

 

Military Mom/Grand Mom

 

 
March 21, 2008, 11:54 pm CDT

from one Army Wife to another†

Quote From: wildrose7

I could not imagine being a military wife.  I would be so depressed, which also has weight loss as one of its symptoms.  It sounds like your kids are being so effected by your husband being gone also.  the stress is immeasurable.  I wish you some peace.  My daughter's husband is in Iraq in Baghdad...and I pray so often for him and have all the churches working on praying.  this releases some of it for me, but it is so hard these days.  I would get some help for you and your children if you can through the kids school counselor, and also call around for military wives support.  You probably already have that going on.  You may need some meds for depression and anxiety and it is not a bad thing to do for now.  My daughter keeps very busy with friends and garden and working, but I cannot imagine having kids too with this.  I try to help her think ahead, to it only being 5 more months.  I think your hubby has 7 more??  Does he have a leave coming?

I will pray for you, do some really nurturing things for yourself.  You deserve it. so tough for you.

 

peace of mind,

rose

Hi!!

I am shocked!!! I thought I was the ONLY ON IN THE WORLD who has lost a BUNCH of weight over this war like that! Whose husband has left and they have dropped the weight!  My husband left in Sept and I dropped about 47 lbs and people have absolutely freaked out!  I gained about 8 back and they have just now FINALLY backed off me a little!  I just want to SCREAM, "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"  Just know you are not the only one who is going thru this.  I will pray for you!  I am now 128 lbs after gaining 8 back.  And we just found out our son has been accepted into West Point!  We are so proud of that.  However, hubby will miss that too!  He is missing so much this year it is not even funny.  He may get R&R in May, maybe not. I wanted him to get it in June or Aug so he could see the 2 most important events at West Pt. But it looks like that is not going to happen. So maybe now he can get May, the month he graduates HS.  My husband is in the Army fighting in OIF & your's is in OEF I see.  They are in different parts of the world but as far as I am conceerned, fighting the same war, same bad guys, looking for the same person!  I pray this will be over with SOON & they can & will get everything overwith soon so all can come home!  I will pray for your family that they will have peace & prosperity & that you will have a great Easter! 

 

I guess what Im having the hardest time with is that come late June, I with have both the guys in my family in the army, so I will be an ArmyWife & and ArmyMom! Im swelling with PRIDE two times over and with fear lots more than that.  But that is when I rely on my faith and leave it all in the hands who made them and gave them life! I KNOW they are making a difference for ALL and they and WE as the backbone & support are too!

 

BLESSINGS

B†

 
April 2, 2008, 11:16 am CDT

Desperate

I am desperate!!

My boyfriend is diagnosed with ptsd after being deployed to Iraq and he has a drinking problem. Sometimes he is so unreasonable and it seems to me that he wants to end every conversation in a quarrel. What is the best way to react and the best way to help him. He doesn't want any professional help. He says that they do not know what he went trough in Iraq and that they are all just book smart.

 

 
April 4, 2008, 5:30 am CDT

There are ways to help

Quote From: desperate123

I am desperate!!

My boyfriend is diagnosed with ptsd after being deployed to Iraq and he has a drinking problem. Sometimes he is so unreasonable and it seems to me that he wants to end every conversation in a quarrel. What is the best way to react and the best way to help him. He doesn't want any professional help. He says that they do not know what he went trough in Iraq and that they are all just book smart.

 

 No one knows what he has gone through except others that have been there.  I don't know if he is full time active duty or in the Reserves.  The one thing I do know is that there is help.  My husband is in the USAF and as wives we are educated on things like this through a class called Heart Link.  Your boyfriend could speak with a chaplin.  What ever he tells them is private unless it is going to affect his life or if he is a danger to people at work.  There is also a support group on base/post that is filled with men and women that are going through what he is going through.  If you feel that it is really bad enough, you can contact his First Sgt. and speak privately with them.  You can't keep going through this by yourself.  His bosses need to know.  If someone in the military that he has respect for talks to him, he may be more open to getting help.  If you can't get him to go at first, there are also things that you can do.  Start by finding an ALANON meeting near you.  PTSD is a very serious disease, I'm sure you know that.

I want to tell you thank you for sticking with him and for the sacrafice that you have made for your country just by being there for one of our soldiers.  You may think "I'm not his wife, I'm just his girlfriend" but one thing that I can tell you is just because you are not married, that doesn't mean that you love him any less than I do my husband.  You have sacraficed time with him so he could serve his country.  You didn't sign up for this.  It takes a strong woman to be as selfless as her soldier.   It will take time and alot of work and prayer but you can help him through it.

Like I said before, no one knows exactly what he has gone through.  There are men and women that have a good idea of what he is feeling but his PTSD is his own.  Seek help where ever you can.  You also need someone to talk to while you are going through this. 

Keep in touch and I will help guide you if you want through the channels that you would need to use.  Just let me know what branch he is in.  WIth me being a spouse, I have people that I can ask on base/post that you wouldn't have access to since you are not married.  I will keep you in my prayers.
 
May 26, 2008, 1:06 pm CDT

Military Families Support

 My name is Tara and I am going on 21 years old. My aunt who lives in VA is in the Army. Its not easy because I know I am just a niece most people think it does not matter just because I am a niece most sites are for wives why not others. Its hard for me just as well just thinking my aunt is in Iraq at you know. I have to live everyday worring about my aunt and I am scared one day we will get that bad call or the knock on the door. I have to sit here in my room and worry if I will ever get to see her again.
 
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