I just finished watching the show and you couldn't have stopped me from dropping my housework, and bolting up the stairs to the computer to punch out this reply. I feel that what Dr. Phil had to say about the whole situation was factual and more importantly, honest.
When I was first married I thought married life meant cooking, cleaning and even cutting the grass to perfection. When I met my husband he had his own place, and before I moved in with him, I cleaned, and reorganized everything. I was cooking and cleaning for him long before we lived together. I thought that was what I was 'supposed' to do. Take care of the man, and he will love you with all his heart forever, and put you on a pedastal. That didn't happen, but to make a long story short we are still together 20 years later. Why? Because I do everything perfect and the way he wants it? NO. Because he does? Heck NO. Because over the years I have come to realize the same things Dr. Phil was mentioning. That I need to be my own best friend and not look for validation in other people. That the house doesn't have to be perfect if its gonna make any of us (me, my husband, or my two kids) neurotic. I liked what Dr. Phil had to say about Anger. Anger stems from frustration, hurt, and fear. It took me ten years and a twelve step program to figure that one out ! But I am certainly glad I did because I realized then that I was powerless over other people, places and things. The only person I have control over is myself. Sure, I screw up sometimes and slip back into my old perfectionism. I rant and rave and want others to pick up their share around here. It usually however, doesn't take me long to realize that I catch more flies with honey than I do with vinegar, and that as much as my husband doesn't get on my back about keeping the house just so, I am sure he gets frustrated with it sometimes too. (as he gets on the kids about helping ) As with Kelly, in my experience; my husband once when I was a stay at home Mom, thought I should manage to get more done in the day, and I pushed myself to be 'perfect'. Because deep down it was what I 'thought' was right. Society dictates the perfect homes in magazines, on t.v., women perfectly coiffed when their husband arrives home from work, the dishes done, the kids happily doing their home work, when in reality, if we could all control all these things, the world would have been 'perfect' a LONGGGGGG time ago. I am more committed today (my day off) to my usual routine of not pushing myself, and not putting myself to others expectations of me, or false expectations of myself, I am committed to keeping myself content, doing what I can, and having fun (laughing at myself too Robin !) while I do it. My kids may not be small anymore, but I can close the door to their disorganized bedrooms when they get to me. When they do move out, I will have more space to clean anyways ! And who needs that? Thanks for the great show as always Dr. Phil !
Dr. Phil revisits the topic of what makes a good wife. Grant and Kelly first appeared on the show because Grant expected his wife to live up to his demanding standards. He wanted a cleaner house, better meals and a sexier spouse. After seven years, his constant criticism and disappointment had her ready to throw in the towel on trying to become the "perfect wife." Dr. Phil’s first talk with Grant and Kelly caused quite a stir as thousands of viewers wrote in choosing sides. How are Grant and Kelly now? Has Grant abandoned his critical ways and his expectation of having a Stepford wife? And why is he no longer wearing his wedding ring? Talk about the show here.
