Topic : 02/21 More Wifestyles

I'd be interested to see Grant take a day off from work and try to accomplish the 75 things on his list. Here's a novel concept: If you don't like the way dishes are put in the dishwasher, DO IT YOURSELF. If you don't like the way the furniture is arranged, DO IT YOURSELF. If you don't like how the meals are prepared, DO IT YOURSELF! Maybe if he did a few of the 75 items, he might gain a little empathy for Kelly. As for the "not wearing his wedding ring". That is not acceptable. Ever. Again, he's lacking any sort of empathy for how hurtful that is to Kelly. It makes me wonder how he would feel if Kelly removed her wedding ring and said that it will stay off until he treats her with respect.

It seems to me that what Grant is missing in this whole thing is the fact that Kelley's MOST important job is raising his/their children. While she was cleaning the bathroom, her 3 year old naked son was out riding his tricycle - he could have been hit by a car or abducted - and for what? A clean bathroom?!?!?! Just because she is a stay at home mom doesn't mean that the house can be immaculate, a gourmet meal on the table as he walks in the door and the children bathed and ready for bed. He should be happy that they are not, he should be more concerned with his children, that they are being read to, socialized, engaged and happy. Marriage/raising children is a two way street, he should pitch in with taking care of the children and cleaning the house, and making meals or . . . hire a house keeper. The children should be the number one factor in this household. In a few, short, 18 years (which as anyone who has children know fly by in the blink of an eye) then, he can demand the clean house and gourmet meals.

The pink was just something else for him to complain about. Grant strikes me as someone who just isn't happy unless he has something to complain about. Makes for some cold nights I'll bet.

  The situation with Kelly and Grant left me incredibly frustrated. 

  Aside working two days a week, I am mostly a stay at home mom and it's a harder job than I had anticipated, however,  if you've agreed to take on that role, you should rise to the challenge while also being reasonable with your expectations. 

  I have very traditional views on marriage and parenting, so naturally I want to be the perfect house wife, and the neighborhood "milk and cookies" mom, but in all reality that's just not always possible, which is why I agree %100 with Kelly. 

  My husband and I have worked out a plan that has been very effective and satisfying in our lives and my hopes are that maybe someone else will benefit from my suggestion. 

  When my husband goes to work, he puts in his 8 hours and is appointed to leave at 5:00, whether he is finished with his duties or not,  however my workplace is at home, so there's no getting off at five and going home, but my husband and I have agreed that I get off work at 7:00, whether the work is finished or not. So like my husband, I have a stopping point, and if I'm finished with my work, great! but if not, I'll just pick up where I left off when I start work again in the morning, just like he does. That allows us both to do our jobs while still making time for family and each other. 

  I think that many couples could benefit from this arrangement and am hoping for the best for Kelly and Grant and their family. 

  

I feel we need some good "family" TV shows like Leave it to Beaver, The Waltons, etc. to allow today's families (parents and children) to see what is involved in a good family.  Unfortunately all the shows are about dysfunctional families, and most emphasize how funny they are, whether it be Desparate Housewives or the Simpsons.  Dr. Phil and "Nanny 911, etc. show how so many parents think spoiling kids rotten is bringing them up well!  They need to be taught responsibility to contribute to the family - Grant wasn't taught that!  I was raised by a mother who wanted the house spotless in case there was a visitor because she worried about "what others will think".  I DON"T CARE what others think!  I did choose to stay home most of the time raising my children (I did substitute teaching a bit.)  I do make everything from scratch - bread, pies, cakes, and sew most of our clothes, so I didn't have time to work full time.  But my house DOES look "lived in" - because it IS.  My husband appreciates what he gets.  What is "perfection"??? I'd like to know what type of childhood Grant had.

I'm pulling hair and chewing nails at how soft you where with this Jerk!!!!  Ugh!  You where supposed to let him vent then turn around and tell him what a sorry son of a B...he is.  And the wife...was she an abused child or what?  She lives for her family and for the hope of someday being able to fit the role of his perfect wife.  Not once did she say what she, as a human being, wanted!  Not once did she stand up for herself as a woman.  She fed him the fire that kept him going and therefore deserves to be treated like that.  She needed to wake up not to be told that she needs things to work on.  You, Dr. Phil, I can't believe you didn't let him have it....ugh!

 

After seeing todays show I would just like to say,  

A marriage is as easy or hard as you make it. After 21 years with my husband I am proud to say "Thank you Lord for giving me the strength and detirmination to live and learn what a marriage should be". If marriage is hard now for these young couples just wait until the kids start making some choices you dont agree with. As a married couple you will need each other to listen to and to share disapointments along with being proud  when they become adults. 

Set an example and remember they mirror your actions.  

Give them someone to be proud of and you will recieve rewards you never imagined. 

Happiness is in your hands, it is obvious these couples love each other and want to make it work or they would not be on the dr Phil show, so listen and learn   

My husband does not tell me how to decorate and I do not tell him ha can not collect his Sport memerobilia, we may both not agree with each other on those minor things but agre that they are important to the other and respect the others feelings. 

I am a  woman who has been married for 30 years.  Our marriage is certainly not perfect but would anyone truly want "stereo-type perfection" in a marriage?  I cannot believe that Kelly has stuck by her man and actually holds his hand onstage.  It is so obvious how much she loves him and cares about him, to put his approval and happiness above her own, and to allow him to talk about his disgust for her in front of millions.  Too bad that he does not see the need or have the desire to do the same.  When we married, my husband was very much a male chauvanist.  Gradually over the years, he has GOTTEN IT.  He is not my dad nor my boss but my partner and friend.  It amazes me that Kelly, after 7 years and still failing miserably in his eyes, can even bother to get off her butt to do anything at all for him.  I truly don't think that he is ever going to GET IT.  Can a person really be that THICK?   I am surprised that he has not turned her into a closet alcoholic or worse.  Her self worth must be SO DAMAGED.  You hit the nail on the head Dr Phil, when you said that the more accepting, supportive and non-judgemental he is of her, the more happiness and harmony will be in their home, simply because she can stop holding her breath when he's around. 

  

The man on today's show who said that he felt like going through the TV screen to punch Grant in the eye must be a wonderful man.  The woman who completely sided with Grant really shocked me with her opinion and she likely shocked every other woman watching. 

  

If Kelly sticks around long enough to see a compromise from Grant, which looks like could be a very very long, painful (for her) process ... I think she deserves a metal.  He'll never find another woman that would put up with the crap he doles out.  He better put that wedding ring back on before she removes HERS.  The only thing that I can say in Grant's defence is that ... something must have happened earlier in his life to cause him to think the way he thinks.  He really believes he's right. 

  

Kelly has her priorities straight, in my opinion.  It sounds like she puts the TRULY IMPORTANT things first ... FAMILY. 

  

Wendy B 

Grant's Priority is MATERIALISM over People particularly his wife and children.  Grant thus seems Narcissistic.  He can feel what hurts him, but can't feel how he hurts his wife.  Kelly is a possession of his to be bossed around.  Grant COULD criticize the curtains IF HE DIDN'T CRITICIZE EVERYTHING ELSE.  That is the problem..... TOO MUCH SEEING THE 1/2 EMPTY GLASS and NOT THE 1/2 FULL ONE.  He even corrected Dr. Phil from 70 on the To do list... to 75.    It is interesting because if he was married to someone who cleaned 15 hours per day... SHE WOULD WHIP HIS BUTT INTO SHAPE and TABLES WOULD BE TURNED AND HE WOULD BE PERHAPS THE BATTERED HUSBAND..... but NO HE DOESN'T APPRECIATE his soft spoken sweet wife...  Honestly it would probably be easier for her to find someone else and KEEP HIM... because with how many rules he has I think he would disagree with everyone.... Maybe he needs Ritalin?  For sure he owes Kelly a HUGE apology, tearfully, on his knees.  If he can't see that it will be a never ending unhealing SORE that bleeds and bleeds and bleeds........