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Topic : 02/21 More Wifestyles

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Created on : Friday, February 17, 2006, 03:07:28 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil revisits the topic of what makes a good wife. Grant and Kelly first appeared on the show because Grant expected his wife to live up to his demanding standards. He wanted a cleaner house, better meals and a sexier spouse. After seven years, his constant criticism and disappointment had her ready to throw in the towel on trying to become the "perfect wife." Dr. Phil’s first talk with Grant and Kelly caused quite a stir as thousands of viewers wrote in choosing sides. How are Grant and Kelly now? Has Grant abandoned his critical ways and his expectation of having a Stepford wife? And why is he no longer wearing his wedding ring? Talk about the show here.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 21, 2006, 7:01 pm PST

02/21 More Wifestyles

Quote From: denised

  

This is for the "perfect" husband on today's show
  THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, 
 
cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards o! ut on time.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist
appointment and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child  

 to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they're about to leave for vacation).

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers
outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

There is only one TV between them, and a remote with dead batteries.

Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the  

name of each and every character on cartoons.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, which they will apply to themselves either while 

driving or making three lunches.

Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker;   
and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails  

polished and eyebrows groomed. The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have  

 extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They must  

 try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it in the purse.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

He will need to read a book and then pray with the children each night without fallin! g asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00. They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information:  

each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length,  

time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink,  

favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child  

and waiting on them hand and foot until! they are better.

They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, "You're not the boss of me."

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.
The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again
for the next 18-25 years...eventually earning the right to be called Mother!

After you get done laughing, send this to as many females as you think will get a kick out of it and as many men as you think can handle it. 
denised
 
 
This is a great idea. I would like to see my better half do all this also. Yet there are days I can not even keep up with all of it. Thats when it is nice to have a real partnership. Its all about give and take. If one of you can not do it the other steps in to help and vice versa. This day and age there is no "wife role" or "husband role". Its not the 1950's anymore it normally takes two incomes and two people with some communication skills to make it work anymore.
 
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February 21, 2006, 7:03 pm PST

Respect the Wife

I have never bee married.  If I was married I would respect my wife.  Not like Grant.  Everyone should follow the golden rule.  Treat outhers as you would like to be treated.
 
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hopeful
February 21, 2006, 7:04 pm PST

From work to a stay at home mom

When my boyfriend and I moved in together we started to pick at eachother that the other would not do the house chores like we wanted it to be.  So we agreed to a rule.  The one who does it (the chore) he does it like he/she wants.  The important thing is that it is done.  And from then on  we do not pick at eachother  anymore.  We talked about what we liked to do and what we hated.  He like to clean and I like to put things back in their place.  Now I'm a stay at home mom and I do very thing because it is my new job.  It's fine with me but my boyfriend cannot complain if I do things my way because I'm the one doing it.  But like any job sometimes I take a day off and I don't do dishes, or the bed.  And my week-ends are reserved for my familly.  We go out doors, see familly members etc.  If tomorrow I had to die I would not say : thank good I did the dishes!  I would say I'm happy that I was with my familly and had a great time.  At one point you have to choose your battles and if house hold chores are more important than your familly, you need to sit back and revew your priorities.                     

Peek_a_boo see you later 

 
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February 21, 2006, 7:05 pm PST

02/21 More Wifestyles

Quote From: canuckmom

Dr. Phil, you were much more patient with Grant than I was.  I felt myself getting so annoyed with him, and wanted to suggest that he try taking Kelly's place for a weekend.  Lets see him cope with young children while doing all 75 things that he wants his wife to do!  Maybe he will have more appreciation for her after that. 

  

I don't know how she puts up with him!  He would be long gone if he acted that way with me. 

  

Lighten up Grant!  Accept your wife for what she is:  a beautiful, caring young wife and mother who does her best while putting up with you! 

I'm lining up right behind you!  I was yelling at the TV before the 1st half of the show was over and wondering how on earth Dr. Phil was keeping from digging holes into the chair arm rests when talking to Grant.  I certainly give Grant credit for at least coming on national TV and appearing as if he wants to change.  But he just still doesn't get it.  He needs some long-term counseling as well as several days switching roles with Kelly.  And by the way......I don't know why she has tolerated him as long as she has.  How can someone like her (killer looks, smart, seemingly a lovely personality, loving, etc, etc, etc) put up with him for so long?  Ah heck, I'll answer my own question:  she has no self-esteem - thanks to Grant.  She doesn't (or at least didn't) know any better unfortunately.
 
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February 21, 2006, 7:06 pm PST

02/21 More Wifestyles

  

Okay, first time on the message board...................I guess I haven't been "moved" enough to type a message. If there ever was a day..............it's today.  What ever it is that motivates Grant to belittle, and criticize his wife over every little thing will probably be the great debate of 2006. I would like to address Kelly. Of coarse there are expectations that people have of their spouse. Hopefully we have evolved enough to understand that sometimes Mommy takes the trash out, and Daddy loads the dishwasher. I am a Mom of three boys, and currently stay home with them. Just maintaining a household, and making sure the boys make it to 18 alive is exhausting enough. Doing it with someone standing over you and picking apart which way the labels on the canned food face is in a league of it's own. Don't get me wrong, being neat and organized just happens to be a huge part of my personality, and I personally know women who do NOTHING. They live in a filthy house, with laundry piled to the ceiling. Everything in balance y'all. Is it important that the cheerios are put away? Yes. Do the Cheerios need to be in alphabetical order? Not on my best day. This woman must be so emotionally drained, I can't believe she looks forward to hearing his car pull up. And why is it that she is too exhausted to watch a movie with him? Could it be that the thought of snuggling up to someone who has basically told you (indirectly or not) that you are a failure as a wife, and that you are unworthy of his "public display" of marriage and commitment. (The Ring) makes you want to curl up in a ball? Thank God he sought help for her...............Can you imagine where she'd be today had he not? 

 

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sad
February 21, 2006, 7:06 pm PST

Erm, my husband is an engineer, and he's very laid back

Quote From: ptchaney

  

Kelly, 

  

He is an engineer, and there is no cure for that toxic personality.  Do not stay and allow your children to grow up believing that this kind of abuse is normal.   

  

I am fortunate to be a SAHM with a loving husband, who is my partner in every way.  You deserve better than Grant.  He is a bully, and his behavior will escalate because he is incapable of "getting it". 

i just want to say not all engineers are awful dictators. my husband is an engineer, and he is fully capable of leaving that aspect of his personality at the office. he is relieved to do so. he is a very laid-back guy. i'm not saying that he's not a geek. he is. but he's not a toxic personality.
 
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February 21, 2006, 7:07 pm PST

Wake up people!

Don't people discuss these things before they get married? This is why our divorce rate it so high! Too many people are trying to be in three places at once. Don't have kids before you get married, Don't get married before you finish all the schooling you desire, and don't bite off more than you can chew. I was engaged over the summer, but had a serious talk with my fiancee about what direction we want our lives to end up in. We decided that we want different things out of life, and we broke up, instead of ignoring our differences. We have come to agree the we can still love each other but know that we are not right for each other. Couples need to talk before they walk down the isle, and then they won't end up on national tv crying that their marriage isn't the perfect fairy tale that the envisioned.
 
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February 21, 2006, 7:07 pm PST

This has got to be Asperger Syndrome

 After watching both shows and reading many, many entries on the message board, the only thing that makes sense to me is that Grant has Asperger Syndrome.  He does not seem to have the capacity to see things from Kelly's perspective,  he has an overwhelming need for structure and rules, and he analyzes everything to death.
 
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February 21, 2006, 7:07 pm PST

Been there done that leave him now

I was the 'perfect wife' and then some for 39 years. My soon to be ex-husband molded me after his mother the 'perfect housekeeper'. I at one point I worked  40 hours / week, took 16 hours of College Credits, moved to an acerage, had my in-laws move in, and had three children and a home to run. Nothing was ever enough. Now at the age of 56 he has traded me in for another woman to allow his mother to move in to be cared for in her old age. If I knew then what I know now I would have left him years ago. It was all about him and what he wanted his 'perfect wife'  to be Maid, laundress, book-keeper, nurse, secretary, and bed buddie. My mother asked me once how I would feel if one of my children was outside and was hurt when I was busy cleaning the kitchen floor. I never let it get that far, I would clean the kitchen floor when the children were within my sight. I never wanted it written on my tombstone 'she was the perfect wife', no I wanted it said 'I was a mother that loved and a wife that loved and did the best she could and was loved by her children and husband'. He showed his colors I was just to young and insecure to leave. I am now being set free by him and it's all about him not us. Run Kelly run he will control you forever. Been there done that gig. 

  

 
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February 21, 2006, 7:08 pm PST

Grant is trying to change....Not really, he just finds other forms of "punishment" for his wife

I really don't feel Grant is making an honest effort to change some of his behaviour.  He mentioned on today's show that he is "holding" back on his comments.  That may be true but he is finding other methods to show his disapproval towards his wife. 

  

He may not be humiliating her by "grading" her cooking (out loud) because he found a new way to "punish" her for not fitting into his definition of perfection.  He is not wearing his wedding ring to punish her and send the message out to her that he finds her lacking. 

  

Grant doesn't deserve to have his wonderful wife and kids.  Grant will always find fault with something.  There is nobody in this world that would meet his level of perfection. 

  

Dr. Phil should have lambasted this poor excuse for a husband.    

 
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