Topic : 02/21 More Wifestyles

Be good in the kitchen.....a man loves a good home cooked meal.... 

'Be great in the bedroom..... a man loves great sex ....... 

everything else is secondary......  and will all fall into place...... 

I believe in the traditional marriage rolls.  I always have.  I believe that the wife should maintain the home by preparing the meals, cleaning the house, and attending to the children's needs.  I have not always managed to do this.  However, when I worked, I found that I still felt obligated to do these things, even though my husband, Adam, offered his assistance.  So I ended up, through no fault but my own, doing twice the work as Adam. 

Adam and I are not wealthy, but he prefers that I stay home.  We share a car, so I need to be available with the car if he needs to go somewhere.  I find that our marriage works much better when Adam and I behave within the traditional rolls of marriage.  We have less conflict because we are not trying to fight over control.  We each have our strengths and perform duties accordingly.  I am good with money, so I handle the finances.  He is really good at the technical stuff and handyman projects, so he decides which appliances to buy and repairs them if they brake.  He and I both parent our daughter, but we discuss beforehand what things we will allow and what, if any, repercussions are necessary .   

The end result is a more harmonious life for everyone.  Our marriage was not like this in the beginning, nor did we have this kind of example when we were growing up.  We really want our daughter to grow up in a healthier environment then we did.  We are happy. 

Dr. Phil, I have been marriage for 9 grueling years.  Angie and I have one child together, 3 year old Princess Boo-Boo, but the problem is with my grown 18 year old step-daughter, Eve.  Dr. Phil, as Eve's step-father, I put my heart and soul into raising her.  I must say, I did a pretty good job.  Every since my daughter Boo-Boo was born, my life as has been in a tale-spin.  Dr. Phil, to understand what is going on is really simple.  The love, time, attention, and yes MONEY I use to invest in Eve, I now invest in Princess Boo-Boo, so there is lots of jealousy.  I just don't understand how one could be jealous of such a wonder blessing like Princess Boo-Boo.  Money that my wife has for Boo-Boo somehow gets into Eve's hands.  Dr. Phil, I have done my job raising Eve.  She is now holding a 4.0 at H U .  Now, her biological father, who lives just 10 minutes from her University, has to step-up.  There is a direct correlation between me letting Eve depend on her biological father, and my marriage going south.  The bottom-line is my wife will never allow me to do what her first husband did to her and Erika, meaning, let me go without any responsibility without first taking me to the bank.  I feel like Princess Boo-Boo and I are prisoners of our own little success.  My success is Boo-Boo and her is we, mommy and daddy.  Dr. Phil, I love my wife to death, but I just can not stand for Angie to let Eve's father escape responsibility-free.  I know a mother will always love their children, but to the point when they are grown and allowing them to affect her marriage to a responsible and loving husband and father that is crazy.

Sincere, 

Leon Smith   

Perhaps Grant and Kelly can create a family project that will capture and focus Grant's analytical mind and energy to combine with Kelly's extraordinary patience? The engineer can design either a model building, airplane or robot for the family to build or work on a few hours a week.   I think the MIT students work on something similar in groups.  Maybe the family can model their project on a class project?   

This is so true.  The time when the kids are little goes by so fast and that is such important time for the little ones.  It makes sense for mom and dad to focus on them while they are still little and at home. Mine are both in school now and I miss that "season" of them. 

Once children are in school and in sports and activities and busy in their own social life, mom and dad can free up time and energy for other things.  At a certain point, children even become able to help keep the house-my children are both learning all of the necessay household tasks, from laundry to cooking. I want them to be able to look after themselves and I expect them to help around the house. 

It would be nice if both Grant and Kelly could see this time as the joy and pleasure it can be rather than being obsessed with the lack of tidiness.  When they are grown and gone, you will regret this Grant. 

I was a stay home mother of two kids whom I home schooled all the way through high school. There was enough of time to take care of the house (within a reasonable cleaning standards) and the kids while my husband was working. Most of the time anyway. It wouldn't come to my mind to ask my husband to vacuum , or do dishes after a long day in his job .  However,  any work in the weekend  should be equally divided - wife needs a weekends too.  The cleaning standards should be clearly discussed though. If the husband comes home to inspect every dust speckle and finds a few, then he should clean it. Also in some days when the wife is busier and the house does not look up to the normal standard, the husband should give a smile and say, "you must have had busy day today".  After all - my dear husband - you have busy days at your job as well and don;t get all the work done you intended.    

When the wife works as hard at home as the husband does at work, the paycheck that your husband brings home is not his - it's equally both of yours reagardless whose name it's made payable to.  Just because nobody  writes a check for housewife's work does not mean it's worth nothing.  If any of you guys disagree just go and hire someone to replace your wife and see how much is left of your paycheck.  This is what you need to hire for to replace me:  warmhearted mother, friend, confidante, personal adviser, referee, peacemaker, housekeeper, laundress, chauffeur, interior decorator, gardener, painter,  wallpaperer, dog groomer, veterinarian, manicurist, barber, seamstress, appointment manager, financial planner, bookkeeper, money manager, personal secretary,  teacher, disciplinarian, entertainer, psychoanalyst, nurse, diagnostian, public relations expert, dietitian, nutritionist, baker, chef, fashion coordinator.