Topic : 02/21 More Wifestyles

Grant's reading all 2000+ messages, commenting on the one or two that agree with him as well as "Surrendered Wife"-type Amy on the show & DEFENDING himself.  Some of the folks here are genuinely trying to help him by suggesting he be evaluated for Asperger's, OCD, etc., but Grant accuses them of having an "agenda."  Grant's posts show that he still does not understand, much less own what his problem is.  Thus, is prognosis for change is ZERO.   I really hope that Kelly gets that Grant's behavior is ABUSIVE & his prognosis for change is ZERO.   

  

P.S.  Good to see you on the board, MomIsYou.  I posted under groovyvegan, but they wouldn't let me have my old name back when the board changed format. 

All your comments, give absolutely no information. 

  

Well, with the exception of the out and out statements that either intentionally defend your position or in regard to another's posting, that if commented on will bolster your position. 

  

Other than that, as on the show, you offer words....just words, words that continue to intensionally be non committal, showing non-ownership, deflecting blame. 

  

When doctor Phil asked you why you don't wear your wedding ring ,your answer..." because its my decision...that's what I choose  to do."   

  

Well, lets see,     just..........more of the same. 

  

  

You are undercutting your wife's dignity and integrity. 

  

Aside from this....you are narrowing Kelly's world with all your trivial demands.....if she must accomplish these lists...you are damn sure you know where she is and what shes doing at all times. 

  

Hmmmm! 

  

More control....I think there's a component of "FEAR" under that anger of yours.   Though, you told Dr. Phil it was frustration. 

  

Dr. Phil, bring this couple back....lets get to the bottom of this. 

  

Lets call it what it is!!! 

  

      

 I would like to say that I am a soon to be wife in about 4 months. I already live with my soon to be husband, we both work 40 hours a week and both stay very busy. He works days and I work evenings. So my situation is a little different than that of Kelly's. I really want to be the "perfect wife" too but the truth of the matter is that for us...he does not expect the house perfectly clean everyday. he knows that I do the best that I can and all I want from him is for him to do the best that he can. All I ask of him is that he helps out with household things every once in awhile so that I personally don't feel so overwhelmed. I hope that makes sense!!??

I do understand Grants feeling of having things in the house organized I am the same way in a sense I like things put away in an organized manner. Like Dr. Phil said that Grant is anal. I can be the same way! But I try not to expect that from my fiance as he is not totally that way.

Just my thoughts as a soon to be wife...it was a great show to watch!

My Thoughts On Roles Of A Wife:    

• When you get up in the morning the first thing that should happen is to speak to Jesus, with love, comfort, joy, and thanksgiving.
• Turn over and say good morning to your husband sealed with a kiss.
• Start loving yourself, look into the mirror each morning and fall in love with you.
• If you don't work....spend time with Jesus.  Get  some one-on-one time with you.
• If you make a lunch for your husband, place an inspirational note inside, a love note, or have a good day note.
• Set the stage for your husband's return for work, meet him at the door with a smile and a kiss.
• Ask him how is day was?
• Stop to listen to what he has to say and make comments of encouragement.  Let him know that he's on top of your list.  He won't have time to grade your cooking, or see if the house is clean he will be too busy focusing on you and how your day was. :)
• Remember love is simple, love is free, love is two people giving as one.  Love is giving what you expect back from your husband.  Love is trust.  "Ask Me....I know"   :)

i am sad to see someone as nice as Kelly appears to be with such a jerk... He should take a weeks vacation and stay with the kids and clean the house. I'm sure kelly could find someplace to go for the day. I would hope that she could be as critical as he is when she came home. I really think that unless you can do it yourself you shouldn't expect someone else too. I also am upset because Dr. didn't even hardly mention the fact that she has children at home..besides the slug. It really makes me wonder what kind of a childhood he had, and what he is going to expect from the children, that makes me shiver!! 

I remember one of the times my husband complained about the meal, and the last time. the kids and i were eating when he got here, he started to complain the meat was tough, I said it was going to get tougher and picked up his plate and took it out to the dog. She thought it was good.. No more complaints.  

Dr. Phil, I think the best therapy for Grant is to do a wife swap for week - it will be the fastest and loudest way to send a message to Grant, who obviously wanted a mommy, not a wife when he got married. Here's the plan: Send Kelly to a spa to rest and rejuevenate herself, God knows she needs to after the verbal beating she has taken from this boy inside a man's body for the past seven years. Next, send in an opinionated but good hearted woman in to set him straight. Grant doesn't like the way the dishes are placed in the dishwasher? Then by all means Grant, do it yourself! Apparently you are the only one on the planet who can do it the right way, anyway. This will immediately open the doors up to appreciation and respect for Kelly, and he will no longer think that the grass is always greener on the other side of his Camelot.

Q: What are the duties of a wife? 

A:  Let's go to the owner's manual.  Written by the Inventer of marriage. 

    1." wives respect your husbands" Esther 1:20; Ephesians 5:33. 

    2. "wives be submissive to your husbands" Ephesians 5:22; I Peter 3:1.  (Not to be abused!) 

    3. "women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything." 

        I Timothy 3:11. 

    4. "...and, likewise the wife (should fulfill his marital duty) to her husband."  I Corinthians 7:3. 

    5. "must not separate from her husband."  I Corinthians 7:10     

A Proverbs 31 woman is: trustworthy, v. 10; virtuous, v.11; industrious, v. 13-14; generous, v. 15; wise, v. 16, 27; strong, v. 17; compassionate, v. 19; dignified, v. 28; spiritual/Godly, v.30. 

  

All I can say is read Dr. Laura Schlessinger's book,  "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands".  It changed my family life 100%!  My husband has no idea what changed, only that we now have an incredible, happy marriage. 

Bravo on this one.   I've never seen that story before, but it really lays it out well.  One toddler buzzing around the house can keep a mom running just to clean up after him.   Three little ones is signficantly more than a full time job.

I totally totally disagree...it's not about carrying the load of 100%. It's about ME giving 100% of what I have and my husband giving 100% of what he has. That's what makes it 100/100. If I only give 50% of myself to this marriage, then I'm shortchanging my husband. Both parties must be 100%, fully committed to making it work.Yes, you share everything in the marriage, but you both MUST give 100% to it. That's what we mean by 100/100.