Topic : 02/21 More Wifestyles

I think your post really tells the truth.  We are equals and it takes balance for things to work.  I think I would do the same thing to my husband if he gave me a list of things to do!  He respects me and that is  why he doesn't do things like that.  We have been married for five years and have been together for seven.   

You said you are a High Priestess, at which coven if I may ask?  My husband and I are Pagan and are raising our children Pagan as well.   

And, what are the children learning from Grant?  To disrespect women?  Not acceptable at all!  Children do hear and see what we do and they do learn from us.   I feel sorry for the children. 

 I clipped this from our newspaper(FDNM):  

     Hooray for Alaskans Girls!!! - Three men were sitting bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.  The first man married a woman from Tennessee & bragged he told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house-cleaning. He said it took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to a clean house & the dishes were done. 

    The second man had married a woman from Florida.  He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, & the cooking. On the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done & he had a huge dinner on the table. 

    The third man married a girl from Alaska.  He boasted that he told her her duties were to keep the house clean, dishes washed, driveway shoveled, laundry washed & hot meals on the table for every meal.  He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down & he could see a little out of his left eye; enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher & telephone a guy to plow the snow. 

 Alaska girls! Ya gotta love'em! 

I think that Grant should feel very fortunate about the woman he married ;-)  It's hard for me to believe that he just ain't gettin it.  Women were not put on this earth to serve man hand & foot.  Him not to wear the ring...hes being totally disrespectful to his wife. I can't believe she has put up with it for so long.   

That's all for now... 

I was/am Kelly.  I found www.flylady.net and have changed my life.  I had no energy, chasing after 2 kids all day.  For me (from FlyLady) I have learned to have routines to get what I want done and play with the kids.  Have balance and a clean, organized and decluttered house.  And that it just doesn't happen overnight.  I just give myself 15 minutes at a time.  If you want peace, Kelly...try this!  I can do anything for 15 minutes and it's just little Baby Steps to get me where I want to go.  I am not born organized although I am (like Grant) anal and a perfectionist so it's been truly wonderful discovering that I'm not lazy.  I just didn't know HOW to do it!!  I have found that I have more time to enjoy my family.  I've joined FlyLady two times.  I got overwhelmed by the emails.  The last time I just deleted the things I didn't want to read (I didn't HAVE to read everything).  I've been Flying for 2 years and my house and my family are fabulous!!  Good luck to you both.  You can tell you both love each other.  Let go of the negative, CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY.   

For Grant...type this and keep it with you!!   

I choose to be happy.  Happiness is not dependent on my circumstances--it's a choice I make.  I look for the good in everything.  Although I may not see it now, there is a gift and a blessing in every situation.  The joy within me overflows into all areas of my life... 

What a great idea to have Kelley grade Grant in the bedroom!  That would be an excellent way for him to get "it" right away.  Sure Kelley go ahead and dress sexier and get him in bed, then grade him, "hmm, I think that session might only be deserving of a C-."  What a good idea. 

I'm a stay-at-home mom and I've always considered that to mean I'm staying home to take care of the kids. The house could care less whether I'm here all day but my being here means a great deal to my kids. So my priority is kids first, house second. I still manage to get some cleaning done during the day and consider that a bonus to the child care I'm giving my kids.  

My husband and I have been married for 17 years and for the most part happy. We've found that the best way to choose things we both like is to choose them together. We do most of our shopping together. It's a great way to spend time together. We can talk during the drive and while shopping and end up with things that we both like. We've picked all of our furniture, dishes, curtains, paint, tile, etc. together. If either one of us doesn't like an item we don't buy it. We continue until we find something we both like so we have never ended up with kitchen curtains that one of us didn't like. We go grocery shopping together on weekends and choose items that we both want to eat. I currently do most of the cooking but during the first 10 years of our marriage we usually cooked together. It was a great way to spend time together, share our day and prepare a meal that we both liked. If it turned out we both did it, if it didn't turn out we both did it! We could talk about whether we wanted to try cooking that meal again or whether we'd never try it again. (We moved and he commutes further so I now cook dinner by myself.) We still clean up the table and load the dishwasher together. We also share other tasks. When painting a room, I mask the room and then my husband paints. I'm picking about the masking and insist that it be done to my standards and so I do it myself. I pick up limbs in the yard and take care of the flowers while my husband mows. I scoop most of the snow off the deck. He does routine car maintenance. We both appreciate what the other does. 

I've learned that getting help means allowing your partner to do things their way. I sort the silverware into the dishwasher so that all of the teaspoons are together, etc. My husband mixes them all together. I don't say anything because that is just the way he does it. My husband sometimes folds laundry and he doesn't fold t-shirts the way that I do. I don't say anything because that's the way he does it. When putting away clean dishes my husband will stack a two-quart sauce pan on top of a one-quart sauce pan. I assumed he would find out that they fall over when you do that but I discovered that they don't usually fall over when stacked that way. I could insist that things be done my way but then I'd have to do them all by myself and I'd rather have the help. I think that if you can't stand it if something isn't done your way then you should do it. If you can live with differences then your spouse can share the job.