Here's my two cents, and if I'm repeated anything, I apologize in advance. I was only able to skim thru the message board as I'm at work on my break.
To start, I have questions for Grant & Kelly: why did you get married in the first place? Is this kind of a parent/child relationship? Did you two live together before getting married, & if not do you think you still would have married after finding out what living together was going to be like?
That being said, I really don't think Grant will ever be satisfied no matter who his wife is-it could be June Cleaver & he'd find faults. I agree w/Dr. Phil who thinks Grant is trying to control his environment because he has emotions or conflicts or some kind of inner chaos he can't deal with, so by demanding order and perfection from his wife this makes him feel like he does have control. I read some of Grants remarks here, and he seems extremely defensive , basically saying he is trying to prevent all sorts of social ills by resorting back to a way of life (as in the 50's) where it seemed there were no problems like teen drug use, violent crimes, etc. Well, Grant, the best way to have healthy kids who love & respect you and go on to become successful people is to set a good example and to spend time with them to let them know they are loved and to feel secure. Right now the example you are setting for your kids is that nothing they ever do will be good enough for you-you can't appreciate your wife, you base your love for her on how well she performs "wifely tasks." Love for children is unconditional-barring extreme circumstances, they need to know you love them no matter what. Will they feel that with you? Or will you find a way to let them know that you will disown them in the way you have with Kelly by not wearing your wedding ring? I actually pity you-something has happened in your life that has shown you acceptance and love is a function of performance. Let me tell you, if that were true, my cooking would have scared away my fiance a long time ago! Nothing is better than seeing the towel on the bathroom floor for the umpteenth time and realizing that not only is not a big enough deal to start an argument about, but if that is to be one of my biggest complaints about my man, than I am truly lucky. One word of advice-relax. Another thing you need to realize statistics are just that-each person and family are different. You can't appraoch your wife and kids as you do your job. There are no right and wrong answers, you can't plug everything into a neat equation and produce the correct answer. If life were like that it may be "perfect" but certainly boring.
Dr. Phil revisits the topic of what makes a good wife. Grant and Kelly first appeared on the show because Grant expected his wife to live up to his demanding standards. He wanted a cleaner house, better meals and a sexier spouse. After seven years, his constant criticism and disappointment had her ready to throw in the towel on trying to become the "perfect wife." Dr. Phil’s first talk with Grant and Kelly caused quite a stir as thousands of viewers wrote in choosing sides. How are Grant and Kelly now? Has Grant abandoned his critical ways and his expectation of having a Stepford wife? And why is he no longer wearing his wedding ring? Talk about the show here.
