Topic : 02/21 More Wifestyles

I did not see the original show, though I'm sure I would have been sreaming at the screen then, too.  Through the entire show, I did not see anyone point out that there actually is a difference between stay at home MOM versus HOUSEKEEPER.  When they both worked outside the home, did they share the household responsibilites or was she expected to work all day outside the home AND do everything inside the home, too?  Gee, we'd all like to have Alice from the Brady Bunch living with us.   Would Grant still feel the way he does if she worked outside the home (for a paying job), while someone else raised his kids?  Would Kelly be required to do all the housework at night under those circumstances? 

I've been a stay at home MOM for 14 years.  We have 2 girls, 18months apart who are currently  12 and 14.   I guess I feel that I need to point out here, that with young children, it's virtually impossible to get a shower everyday, let alone a complete a LIST of chores during the day.  Having said that, I can tell you that it does change as the kids get older.  Once they are in school, it's certainly easier to schedule the day to get the things done that require your full attention.  For example, Kelly told an incident about when she was cleaning the bathroom instead of watching their son, who subsequently was found outside naked.  How would Grant have felt about the importance of a clean toilet if their child was hit by a car because Kelly's focus was trying to get his list done? 

I do almost everything pertaining to the house, now - including the lawn.  When the kids were younger, I just couldn't.  There isn't enough time in the day to keep the kids safe AND do all the other stuff.  It comes down to priorities.  Does Grant want a clean house or a happy wife?  In 25 years, will it matter to his kids that the house was spotless or that their Mom was happy and contented with her life? 

Maybe Kelly should go to his office one day and follow him around telling him how much he sucks at his job.  He's doing the same thing. 

Being Mom is not only the hardest job in the world, we do it for no pay, no vacation, whether we're sick or not, and the whole purpose is to work ourselves into obsolescence. 

Noelle 

We should not be looked down upon for trying to find ways to better ourselves at home. I agree 100%. 

Thank you for saying it. 

If Grant wants to see his wife's contribution to the family as a task list with himself as the program manager, he needs to take it to the next step and actually come up with a program plan that includes the tasks he sees as important. If he actually tried to make a schedule for Kelly with his list during whatever hours he thinks her "work day" should be, I think he'll find it isn't possible. His list is unrealistic. He needs to do what all program managers have to do -- look at the big picture and set priorities. Maybe by doing this he can see what a reasonable set of tasks and schedule might be and he and Kelly can agree on something achievable. This may take some pressure from Kelly too. She'll be able to use a daily/weekly schedule to balance the housework and time with the kids, feel a sense of accomplishment and not feel as overwhelmed by things she doesn't enjoy as much because the time she needs to spend on them will be limited.