Topic : 02/21 More Wifestyles

i am writing to you on my wifes sign up on your message board.  after watching Grant and Kelley on the show 3 things came to me that appear to be missed in the conversation.  first, no one person is perfect, so a marriage can not be perfect.   when two people enter into marriage you take each other for the good qualities and the bad.  you grow together and teach each other, working as a team.  marriage is definitly a team process.  point number 2.  two or more people live in this house, therefore everyone should help keep it clean..my wife and i work very hard jobs with long hours.  my work is seasonal with long hours for about 9 to 10 months a year...we work together during these times to make our house a home..when my season is over i take the role of parttime worker and homebody, so i take on more hose cleaning responsibilities...if one of us is tired the other picks up the slack.  point 3.  who taught Grant this idea of what a wife should be?  my parents have been married for 36 years, so i have learned alot from them.  the most important thing that i learned from them is that marriage is not a fifty / fifty split everyday...sometimes it is 90/ 10 or 25 /75.  i believe that we act in our adult lives as a result of things we are taught in our youth. 

Grant is like my husband.  We are going on seven years of marriage and I also feel I'm being "tolerated" versus "accepted".  I'm always to blame and the cause of his unhappiness/stress. 

  

I have said some of the same things to my husband that Dr. Phil said on this show.  You "own" your anger... You can't control what happens..., etc.  His response is "cut the psychobabble". 

  

It seems to me that while Grant says he wants to get "it", his hurtful comments and behavior say the opposite.  I don't think he can change -- because he doesn't see himself as the problem.  Both of them deserve credit for going on this show and being so open about the problem.  I'll be interested to watch what happens with this couple.   

  

  

I think Kelly is absolutley perfect and I hope she gets to read this because she is such a great woman. Grant is a complete *** and she should definitley leave him. She can do so much better. I would be proud to wear a wedding ring and say Im married to Kelly. She is so great! I have a tradition where I believe all woman should be treated like queens because they do so much for us guys. We need to cherish these woman and we need to cherish Kelly :D

this guy is terrible!! i think they should've switched roles for a few days, just to show this guy that it's not possible.

Grant is rediculous in his expectations and cruel in his treatment of his wife.  Not wearing his wedding ring is something I would not tolerate if I were his wife.  As far as the fact that he wanted the kitchen curtains to be "gender neutral" instead of pink, did anyone bother to tell him that he was wearing a pink shirt?  This guy needs a lot of psychological help and if I were Kelly I would be giving him an ultimatum or two.  Get a grip and get help!

You no there is a lot lf men .like this my daughter is married to one, we have talk so much she dons't listen to me she thinks he will changes i real worried about her and my grandbabys. 

                                                                        it hurts me to think she will stay with him. 

personally i think a good wife consists of yes cleaning ur house...no one wants to leave in a mess but ur husband doesnt need to push the issue everyday...of course cooking a way to a mans heart is through is stomach...but most important is love and trust

This guy admitted to being filled with anger at best, and indifference at the worst. I chose to put those descriptives in that order because I guess he hasn't physically lashed out at her or the kids *yet*, huh? This guy bailed on this marraige over a year ago, and now he's so indifferent to her (at least her, if not the kids too) that he just gets some kind of sick pleasure by verbally swatting her around like a cat with a cornered mouse. What happens after he tires of this, and processes in his sick mind that 'she'll never learn, and now the kids are growing up and being more of the  

"problem" '  too, that he doesn't realize is solely in his own mind and that he can't control ?  What happens then ? I knew reaffirmed in my own mind that this show was played way too much for laughs when with 10 minutes to go in the show,  the producers chose to show that this guy still clearly hadn't gotten the point of anything that was said about his behavior towards (at the very least) his wife. She should get out of this "marriage" (SIC!), and take the kids with her. NOW. 

I cannot believe that Kelly is still with Grant.  I am married to a man in the military and we have been married for 7 years and have two young children. I am a stay at home mom. We dont control our home life like a military base. Grant is a huge A**!!!! They have three young children and he needs to be more worried about if those kids are going to grow up like her or him. I hope its not him!!! She is trying to concentrate on being a mother. The house being clean should not be his main priority. He should count his lucky stars she hasn't left him already!!!!!!! 

I think Dr. Phil should encourage Kelly to leave Grant. Then get her on Match.com and see how many better men such a beautifull woman like her could find. 

I realize it's been a long time since my wedding (1975) but I don't remember there being a "conditional clause" in the exchange of the rings that included not wearing it if your spouse does not live up to certain standards of perfection.  It isn't a prize to be working towards, it is a symbol of the love, devotion and acceptance between two people who care for each other.   

This guy needs to go to "husband school".   

Also, did I hear you say he wants his wife to wear something sexy to mow the lawn?  Why isn't HE mowing the lawn?  Does he do ANYTHING around the house?  Does he interact with his children?  Or is it his expectation that everything connected with the house in any way is her "job"?   

  

Anal is not the word for this man.  He needs to make the jump from the 1800's into the 21st century.