Topic : 02/21 More Wifestyles

I would like to comment on what I feel the role of a wife should be. I feel that women base the role of a wife to much on what society  thinks a wife should be. The stereotypical wife of the 60's... a wife who cooks cleans ect.... Do people know what year we are living in?? It is the year 2006!! What ever happened to women standing up for themselves and being noticed and having equal rights as a man. I think it is nice that women want to stay home and be a full time parent. I am all for that. But who is a man to say how we run a household. When you enter into a marriage is it not for better or for worse? If a relationship has gone through the proper courtship of getting to know one another, why do people enter the marriage thinking that it will change eachother? This is still the same person before you were married. I feel that when you marry someone that you are also saying that you are accepting this person as they are and don't expect them to change. If there is going to be change in the marriage that it is called growth in the marriage. And growth in the marriage is a healthy thing because everyday should be a learning experience.  

I have been married for almost two years but have been with my husband for going onto four years. We lived together for a year and a half before we got married. If I felt at anytime that he did not accept the way I ran a household or cooked meals then I would not have agreed to marry him. In our marriage it is 50/50. We both work, not always at the same time. My husband takes the role of cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry and taking care of the kids. We share in this experience together and we learn from eachother. If I am working he is home doing the housework and if I am home I do the housework. We base it on whoever is at home at the time will do the workload. I am on maternity leave right now and my husband is working and going to school so I am home right now doing the cooking and cleaning and looking after the kids. He does what he can to pitch in. This is fine with me, but there is a give and a take in the marriage. We thrive on the growth of one another, we compliment eachothers strengths and encourage eachothers accomplishments. This is what I believe a marriage to be based on.  

One the show Grant does not wear his wedding ring. I do not feel that he answered Dr. Phil's question on why he does not wear it. I think the question he should have been asked "Is he having an affair?" or "Is he thinking about having an affair?" You enter into a marriage for better or for worst and his reason in my opinion is not good enough. I don't ever remember reading a book anywhere on how to be a perfect wife! What is a perfect wife? I think that the learning experience in a marriage should be done together.  After you have children they are the center of your world. You make the choice to be that at home mother and your husband may agree to this, so why not go through the experience together. Take cooking classes together or whatever else. I know that this might not be your ideal way to spend time together but you make that choice once you have a family and your priorities change. This does not mean that you and your husband should not spend romantic evenings together, it just means that the kind and amount of time you spend together changes according to the situation you are in. My husband and I know that after the children are old enough to look after themselves we will be able to spend all the time in the world with eachother. We cherish any moment we have together whether it be doing dishes or doing laundry together. I feel that life is what you make of it and I try to make the best out of any situation. I feel that there should be compromise in any situation and it should not just be the woman compromising with the man.  

The thing that amazes me about this whole debate is the idea that because one partner "goes to work" that means that on arriving home, that partner's responsibilities for the entire day have been fulfilled with the 8 hours spent in the office, or wherever.  Meanwhile, the stay-at-home partner is expected to be on call 24/7?  Why doesn't Kelly's work during the day count as her 8 hours - why can't Grant expect that he must put in equal effort in cooking/cleaning/childcare when he arrives home?  Does he think that his "work" is so much more important and valuable than hers that 8 hours, 5 days a week is equivalent to her 24 hours, 7 days a week?  When did we allow work in the home to be so horribly undervalued?  Why does Grant seem to think that his role in the home should be restricted to management?  Who died and made him boss? 

I think Grant forgot about unconditional love. There are so many more important things in life than a little dust and a dishes in the sink. He has taken away any self worth that she had prior to this dreadful marriage. I feel bad for the kids because there doesn't appear any love from them to model thier lives after. 

I couldn't image being so unhappy in a marriage like she is. I would go insane. 

I have never felt so compelled to give my opinion on a show as I do about Grant and his conceitedness. I can't believe he actually thinks he is so great  a person that the woman he is suppose to love and cherish should serve  him like a slave just  to satisfy  his obsessive compulsive behavior. What happiness is he giving to her? How can he not see that he has such deep seeded issues from sometime during his life and that he needs serious therapy so that his poor children don't end up as dysfunctional as he is. For being so educated, Grant needs to read up on physiology and see the long term detrimental effects he could have on his children if he continues with this behavior. Come on, talk to your partner about important things such as retirement, vacations, education for your children. I can’t believe that craziness you are worrying about when there is so much more in this world you could use your brain for.  What do you do besides going to work that helps the family? I bet not much. Makes me appreciate my husband sooo much.
The big question here how in 2006 we went backwards in time to think that a woman is only smart enough to clean houses and pick out pink curtains. I am all for staying home and raising children but trying to make everything perfect for the hubby? Wow! Please tell me that women aren’t falling for this.  My first question would be, did Kelly know he was like this when she married him?
I sure hope Grant can change for the children’s sake and that Kelly realizes how important it is that he does. 

I have been married for 3 years i have 2 children 3yrs. & 1yr. and my husband is in the army. I'm here to tell you it is hard as hell!! I juggle 2 kids, house chores, & cooking dinner. I always have it all done before 5:00 p.m. when my husband arrives home. For me, my husband has the weight of the world on his shoulders when he is at work , his job is defending  freedom. My husband is very supportive of me and helps me as much as possible but i don't feel he should have to worry about his family, America, and now Iraq. There are times I'm alone for twelve months at a time doing it all by myself. I don't think grant should be so controlling because it is hard to manage but at the same time i think we women depend on our husband to always be there to help or control the kids so we can have a ten minute break or pick up something at the grocery store on his way home or to just say hey don't forget to do this or call so and so but what about us that deal with life with out our husbands because they our defending freedom for you & me & all of America. what about the single moms, they have nobody. So yes husbands should not be controlling (my husband is far from it so i don't know how it feels) but i feel that they deserve the respect of a hot meal and a clean house to come home too. THATS THE JOB OF A HOUSEWIFE!