As a woman who's been married to her husband for more than 20 years I am surprised that people don't realize that marriage is definitely supposed to be a union. I am a strong, independent woman and my house cleaning is not top priority. I made a commitment to love AND CHERISH my husband. My job is to help him be the fullest expression of himself. My husband and I support each other and help each other to progress as people living in this global community. Marriage is not about being selfish. If people don't want to be collaborative in a union, then they should not get married. My other priority is making sure that my children are healthy, happy, productive members of our society. People are more important than things. You know, if those people who are nit-picking about a clean house went out and did community work for the homeless perhaps they would have a different view of things.
You know what? Now, mind you, my husband is in his fifties and he learned early on that if I was busy he would have to do the laundry, the dishes, the ironing, etc. Yes, he works long hours and still comes home and helps out around the house. If he doesn't like what I have proposed for dinner then he will cook that night and then everyone is happy. I, in change, have learned how to do lawn care, fix the car, do home repair, etc.
This is the 21st century people!!!! Stop being so constrained within those antiquated sex roles!
My house is presentable, but not spotless. Something to think about. My daughter's teenage friends prefer to come to my home, not because it's a showplace, but because I take the time to talk to them and find out how things are going with their lives. Some even call me their second mom! THAT is where I get pleasure!
Our job as people is to look at one another and see the qualities that each person expresses, such as kindness, joy, patience, tolerance, etc. This is what I feel is also part of my job as a wife and mother- to really appreciate the good qualities that each family member expresses even when things don't seem to be harmonious. I always come up with positive things and then I haven't lowered my thought to allow chaos in the household.
No, my husband isn't perfect, neither am I, but we love to tell each other what we appreciate about each other and do it OFTEN.
One extra bit of advice that was so helpful to me as a young adult. When considering someone to marry, ask yourself, could I wake up and sit across the breakfast table from this person the way they are right now EVERY DAY for the rest of my life? Hmm, food for thought.
I agree with Dr. Phil, it's not about change it's about acceptance. If you both love each other and support each other you will both bloom and blossom in your marriage.
Dr. Phil revisits the topic of what makes a good wife. Grant and Kelly first appeared on the show because Grant expected his wife to live up to his demanding standards. He wanted a cleaner house, better meals and a sexier spouse. After seven years, his constant criticism and disappointment had her ready to throw in the towel on trying to become the "perfect wife." Dr. Phil’s first talk with Grant and Kelly caused quite a stir as thousands of viewers wrote in choosing sides. How are Grant and Kelly now? Has Grant abandoned his critical ways and his expectation of having a Stepford wife? And why is he no longer wearing his wedding ring? Talk about the show here.
6 Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee: love her, and she shall keep thee.
