I can understand Kelly and Grant's views. I am a daughter of an engineer and have many of the same qualities as Grant and my father: such as everything being logical, organized and have order. I can also understand Kelly's side because it was very hard to live up to my father's expectations. He would yell at us kids because the couch arm covers were crooked. How stupid it was and not worth the energy or stress of our family. I believe it helped my dad's elevated blood pressure, excess weight and even his migraines. All have since disappears since he has learned to manage his expectations.
So, Grant if you read this, there is hope for you, my dad is much much better and living a happier and healthier life. If nothing else you are filling your life with stress non-the-less unhappiness. Your family and yourself can suffer health problems from all this stress especially over little things. There is a book that my dad recommended to me that helped him "Don't sweat the small stuff" by Richard Carlson. Many studies have been done on the affects of stress on the human body. I believe I went into preterm labor because I couldn't control my stress levels. You and your family could be at risk. Your health and happiness is the most important. thing When you walk the path of life you need to remember this and try to also maximize the joy of others in the process.
Marriage to me means a commitment to a person. You team up together for life. You celebrate the victories together and challenge life together. Someone who helps you become a better person by supporting you not by critizing. Example: Lets take this gourmet cooking seminar together (support), This chicken is boring, we had it last week (critic). Communication is the most important thing in a relationship. You also need to respect each other as individuals. Example: you don't like pink, she does. What do you do? Compromise. She can design one room, you design another. You have your manly room she has her girly room. If you have to, keep common rooms neutral or compromise the amount or intensity of the color.
My suggestion for you is to take a vacation out of your home. Spend time finding out each other, talk about your goals together as individuals and as partners, and figure out how to achieve them together. What are your hobbies? Don't focus on you home, but your long term goals. The location of the broom can wait. Where are you two and your family going to be in five, ten and so on....years? How are you going to both be happy and healthy?
Dr. Phil revisits the topic of what makes a good wife. Grant and Kelly first appeared on the show because Grant expected his wife to live up to his demanding standards. He wanted a cleaner house, better meals and a sexier spouse. After seven years, his constant criticism and disappointment had her ready to throw in the towel on trying to become the "perfect wife." Dr. Phil’s first talk with Grant and Kelly caused quite a stir as thousands of viewers wrote in choosing sides. How are Grant and Kelly now? Has Grant abandoned his critical ways and his expectation of having a Stepford wife? And why is he no longer wearing his wedding ring? Talk about the show here.
