Topic : 02/21 More Wifestyles

Who are you to say wether someone will or will not stay married?  We should be encouraging others in this situation to figure it out.  No there is never a perfect spouse but that doesn't mean we should jump up and leave the as soon as they make a mistake or do something we don't like!  Part of marriage is compromise and that can say more about your relationship than anything else. 

I think the fact that Grant is changing and is willing to be honest is a huge step.  Like Dr. Phil said you can't change the world overnight.  Give the guy some credit here!  At least he is trying!  He is stuck in this old habit and habits are hard to change, he IS trying! 

My opinion is:  Today, husbands and wives roles are very different than they were when my mother was growing up.  I myself am a stay-at-home mom, who loves her "job". I don't think I could ever run the kind of home that my grandmother did.  I would love to be able to keep a spotless house and be a master chef at the same time, but I can't.  I think that time maybe the problem I have.  I have to(and want to) take my kids to playgroup, after school activities, and keep active in their school as well.  Gone are the days when you could just put your kids in the backyard and let them roam about, knowing they would be back in time for supper.  (Isn't that my time for cooking, cleaning?)  I wish that I could but its just not safe!   I think my house is packed with "stuff" that we dont need, toys, clothes, etc.  It is always so cluttered.  Sometimes I think it would be great to be back in the days when you got one barbie doll and that was fine.  Think of all the free space you would have in your house then.  That is my reason for not having the perfect house, wait a minute, I do have the perfect house, it's just a bit messy right now... 

I sat and watched Grant on this show, and the last one he was on for that matter, and thought to myself that he is the stupidest smart person I know.  Just watching him, he is like a robot, no emotion or common sense anywhere to be found.  I'll bet this guy did internet research on "what a wife should be" to get his information.  What was his mother like, I am dying to know.  Was she Mrs. Cleaver or Roseanne???  Or was she even around???  And Kelly, come on girl, you gotta grow a back bone.  Marriage is not about impressing each other or finding validation by doing certain tasks, marriage is one thing we enter into because we want to and we should go there because we want to.  I cannot imagine myself in the position of Kelly.  My husband is thrilled if I make a big dinner, but if I heat up some old frozen pot pie, he is happy too.  He does not clean the house and never makes a remark about it, because he does not have to do it and he feels happy that he has someone who will do it for him.  If I were Kelly, I would hand over the mop and the dust pan and let old Grant take a crack at it.  It is very easy to sit on his high horse and dictate how things should be done and how they should look, it is a whole new ball game when you have to actually do the labor and the hard work to get it to look that way.  Why doesn't Grant jump in and help if he is so concerned about how things are organized or unorganized.  In the time he spent making a list of 75 duties a wife should do, having them laminated and on colored paper, he could have cleaned the whole house and done 3 loads of laundry.  My husband is not perfect, but at least he recognizes what I do around this house and that I am also not perfect, but he appreciates all I do for him and all I do for our family.  And by the way Grant, our master bedroom is lavendar with flowers everywhere, guess what my husband said when I painted it....thank God I don't have to paint.  Never a word about the color.  And by the way buddy, you wore a pink shirt to the show.......

    Hate to disappoint you, but marriage is not a 100/100 thing.  It is give and take on both sides, sometimes more on the woman's side, but sometimes on the husband's side.  You both have to work together and sometimes both of you take up the slack to make it work. 

I am curious as to how Grant and Kelly met. Did they meet in college or as young adults? They just seem to have such opposite "wiring," as he seems very technical, and she is emotional and intuitive.
 

I went to a college with an excellent engineering school and dated several engineering students. Although they were always nice guys, we just had different personalities. I have always noticed that most engineers have a very precise, technical, get-to-the-point personality and many find it hard to be very feeling and emotional.

I'm not putting anyone down, but with Grant and Kelly, I think their personality clashes are part of the root of the problem.