I watched for the first time the dialogue between Grant and Kelly, arbitrated by Dr. Phil and his observations. I was discouraged that Grant believes and feels justified in degrading his wife by associating her worth with activities. This is a cultural phenomena in which women are not acknowledged as worthy or valued for our tremendous contribution. In my opinion, marriage is the union of two souls that share love, hope and the future with which to build a life. The jobs that Kelly is expected to fulfill are unreasonable, unfair and show no respect for her as a person. I watched in amazement that Grant didn't get that. Sadly, he is an example of why so many marriages fail. Women and men must be accountable for the precious soul they promise to love and cherish. I believe that breaking or crushing the spirit of your loved one has its consequence not to mention the lesson you are teaching your children. A relationship is not to be evaluated, measured by the yardstick of criticism and observed through the eyes of someone's negative expectation. Is marriage a bootcamp? Apparently to Grant. People are not robots nor does our human and emotional element respond to robotic commands. Once again, it reflects the value and worth we place on women and their role.
I acknowledge the comments made by those who say perhaps Kelly is not meeting expectations. I feel that is not the issue. The issue is that he doesn't value her worth as a wife, friend, lover and soulmate. Love doesn't focus on faults and how many times you miss the mark. No one is perfect. But I truly felt that Kelly has a commitment to her marriage and trying to please her husband despite his unreasonable demands. I believe she sees the big picture on contrast to her husband. The house and its respective chores are not more important than your children and priorities with them. Kelly's choices are realistic and exactly what most women who stay at home do. We try our best each day to tackle many activities. Someday's are good and flow like clockwork and others are out of synch. For Grant to criticize the most trivial issues and miss the successes, efforts and love that Kelly demonstrates daily is criminal.
Who made Grant Godlike? I dare say noone..I do admire that he went on the show and I also admire Kelly's response to Amy. If she didn't have a commitment and desire for her marriage to be successful, she would not have aired these most personal issues on nationwide television.
Hang in there Kelly. You are a gem among women. You have tried and keep on trying. My hat goes off to your strength and love for your husband. Even though he doesn’t see that yet. I hope your issues can be resolved. It takes two to make a marriage work, in good and bad times. It takes only one to make it break apart.
I also admire Dr. Phil’s approach and method of reasoning. I became so discouraged after many remarks Grant made. I felt negative towards him and his expectations. However, Dr. Phil maintained a positive approach giving him a chance to express his side.
Dr. Phil revisits the topic of what makes a good wife. Grant and Kelly first appeared on the show because Grant expected his wife to live up to his demanding standards. He wanted a cleaner house, better meals and a sexier spouse. After seven years, his constant criticism and disappointment had her ready to throw in the towel on trying to become the "perfect wife." Dr. Phil’s first talk with Grant and Kelly caused quite a stir as thousands of viewers wrote in choosing sides. How are Grant and Kelly now? Has Grant abandoned his critical ways and his expectation of having a Stepford wife? And why is he no longer wearing his wedding ring? Talk about the show here.
