Topic : 02/21 More Wifestyles

I wonder does Grant realize that it can be a delicate balance between being a mother of young children and "keeping up the house".  I applaude Kelly for making it known that she makes choices to do activities with their children rather than keeping a perfect house. The children are far more inportant than chores. Kelly maybe realizes that the children will only be that young once and they need the mothering that she is trying to provide for them.  Grant could also spend some of the energy he puts into wanting the house clean to either assist her in cleaning or spend more time with the children so that Kelly can do more chores sometimes.  Sometimes if you want it done a certain way its best to just do it yourself. 

When I saw the promos for the show, I thought I'd hate Grant, but I didn't hate him at all.  He's frustrated because he can't make Kelly be like  he wants.  I think we all struggle with that to some degree.  I've been married for 5 years.  While this is a simple thing, I used to argue with my husband all the time over how he drove. We fought regularly when we got in the car. It took me two years to realize that he wasn't going to change this behavior, and it also took me two years to realize that it wasn't really hurting anyone that he drove that way.  What I started to do when I rode with him is not watch his driving.  I look out the side window instead, and now we don't fight about it.  OK, I realize this is a silly little thing, but it works.  It wouldn't work, however, if the way he drove really was dangerous, but it wasn't.  I think the same might be true with Kelly.  Grant isn't thrilled with what she's doing, but it isn't really bad or dangerous or damaging.  It just isn't the way Grant likes it.  If what Kelly was doing was hurting their children or him in any real way, I would say fight for the change, but because it isn't, perhaps Grant should find some way to look out the side window.  Again, I realize that's probably an oversimplified way to look at it, but it works with me and my husband.  Let me also point out that my husband has to look the other way on many annoying habits I have.  We spend a lot of time laughing at and with each other over all the stuff that annoys us about each other.  With this lighter attitude about our own lack of perfection, we become a sort of team when it comes to fixing the things that we can and want to fix.  But the key is the lighter attitude about it.  We enjoy our flaws, but we still work to fix them.  In the meantime, we still get to like who we are.  So, for the things that don't really matter, I choose to look out the other window, and for the stuff that we do really want to change, we work on it together while still enjoying the people we are in that moment.  There will always be something to fix.  We'll never be a completed product.  That's truly what I love about both myself and my marriage.    

Grant needs to get "it" before it's too late.  He is very fortunate to have a beautiful and intelligent woman to be his wife and the mother of his children.  I think too many people focus on themselves and what they want or need.  A marriage should be 50/50 in as many ways as possible.  Grant needs to appreciate what Kelly does instead of focusing on what she dosen't do.  He needs to sit down and think of how life would be without her and if he would be able to accomplish what she does on his own.  I was widowed at the age of 34.  It's very hard to run a house and have a career by yourself.  They should take that list of 70 ways to be a house wife and tear it up.  Make a new list about how to have a good marriage.  Love, respect and appreciate each other everyday.