Need some advice! Am I being hateful? About ten years ago my aunt was in ICU having a tap put on her brain for chemo. She was only ten years older than me and had always been like a big sister to me. When I received the phone call I called my husband and he had planned on helping his 60 year old dad and three other guys roof his dad's house, but he called to tell them that he wouldn't be able to cause he was going to drive me the four hours to see my aunt and stay with me. At this time we had a three year old and one year old. My inlaws didn't offer to keep the kids, however my mother in law called to tell me that my hubby was supposed to help his Dad, couldn't I go by myself. I said no. She then had a friend of hers (who at the time I thought was a friend but in reality was just pretending to be so she could gossip back to my inlaws if I said or did anything she thought was "worthy")call and tell me that she would go with me to see my aunt, whom she didn't know, and she would keep up with the kids, that way my hubby could stay and help his dad. Here is the funny part. We had only known for 2 days that fil was even planning on roofing his house. When my hubby offered to help, fil said , "doesn't much matter I have already asked and he named off three other people" to help him. I told her friend no too. We went to see my aunt, I ended up staying and my husband came back home to go back to work. I get home to find out that my mil had ranted and raved to my hubby saying that I had been hateful about my fil and had said some hateful things about him and her. My husband asked what I had said and his Moms response was " I'm not going to tell, but she needs to grow up and quit being so selfish and hateful, we won't forgive her for a very long time!" When I confronted them, they said, it was no big deal and they would get over it. They wouldn't tell me what I had supposedly said. Of course, they were wanting me to help plan my fil retirement party. I have discovered they are only nice and only talk to me if I am doing something for them. For as long as I have known the inlaws they have pretty much acted like my hubby is second rate compared to their other son and their daughter. They even treat their daughters child better than they treat our kids and even though they bad mouth the other grandchildren and praise our kids behavior they treat our kids poorly. Well 6 years ago, my husband found out for the first time in our marriage he would be off on the Friday after Thanksgiving and we opted to go to my parents. Until then we had always had Thanksgiving with his parents. His parents were furious. My fil told me I was a selfish self-centered person and that my family was trash,(in his eyes everone is trash but him) and proceded to put his fist in my face and threaten to hit me. My husband wasn't there when it happened. My mil proceded to tell me that she didn't care if it was being selfish or unfair to my folks, she didn't give a crap about my folks, she wanted what she wanted, and if she didn't get it then she was going to throw a fit! When my hubby found out what was going on he rushed over and confronted them and they admitted it. Never did they apologize. After a few weeks, they began telling other family members that I was at fault, that they forgave me and yet I am distant and hateful to them. Of course they say I badmouthed my husband to them and that my fil put me in my place. Anyone who knows me knows that I always speak highly of my husband because he is an exceptional person and a fantastic husband and father. I have finally realized that there is no pleasing them. We visit, they act like they don't want us there, yet gripe to family that we don't come enough. We call, they act like we are disturbing them, the complain we don't call enough. We recently gave them a 50th wedding anniversary party. Myself and my sister in law(my husbands brothers wife, whom they also treat like crap) did everything accept decorate the banquet hall, because my husbands sister made it clear she was going to decorate, of course she expected us to foot the bill for that too and we told her we paid for everything else, she could pay for that. The family friend and my husbands sister decorated the banquet hall. To hear my inlaws tell it, no one did a thing for the party but the friend and their daughter. I told my husband I am done trying to please them. They buy the daughter expensive gifts for birthdays and holidays as well as her daughter, but my husband and kids get clearance rack stuff, which would be fine if it was stuff they liked or if it fit. She gave my 14 year old daughter toddler socks and a vest that was a youth small for Christmas this year. I overheard my mil tell her daughter that my daughter should be grateful, at least she gave her something! Can you be anymore hateful. My daughter opened her gifts, and said thank you to her grandma. I didn't even know that it didn't fit until I overheard the two women discussing it. Here is where I have drawn the line, my fil refused to hug me or my two kids goodbye at Christmas. My husband is furious and so am I. I want to be done with them completely. My husband has mixed emotions. My mil has called and left messages saying she doesn't know why we won't return her calls. My husband refuses to talk to her. My fil hasn't called at all. My mil even sent a note saying that she hasn't done anything wrong, but to forgive her and that she hopes our kids don't throw us away when we are old like we have done to her and fil. Would you be done?
A wedding is supposed to be a time of celebration, but sometimes, planning for that special day can divide a family. Pat feels that her son, Steve’s, fiancée is not good enough for him. She thinks Kim is selfish, narcissistic and trying to turn Steve against his own family. Pat hopes she can convince her son that he’s about to marry the wrong woman before it’s too late. Then, when Rachel and her mother, Jeanne, last appeared on the show, Jeanne claimed that Rachel’s Bridezilla ways were destroying their relationship. Rachel’s motto was: “It’s my wedding day, and the bride is always number one!” After they left the show, Rachel refused to speak to Jeanne and demanded an apology. Will this mother and daughter see eye to eye before Rachel gets on the plane to move away for good? And, what is the one thing Rachel really needs from her mother? Join the discussion.
