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Topic : 02/23 Exes From Hell

Number of Replies: 552
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Created on : Friday, February 17, 2006, 03:16:40 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Everyone knows someone who’s been in a bad breakup. Dr. Phil’s guests say they’ve got ex-mates from hell! Tracie called off her wedding over a year ago, but her ex-fiancé, Dan, still won’t leave her alone. He calls every morning to say he loves her, but when he hacked into her computer and e-mailed a man she was dating, and when he broke into her house, she filed a restraining order against him. Dan says Tracie is the love of his life, and thinks they still have a chance to patch things up. Then, Stacie says her ex-husband, Ted, is making her life miserable. Since their marriage ended, she says he abandoned her and their three sons financially. Can she get Ted to step up and pay child support, or will she and the kids be out on the street? Talk about the show here.

 

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February 23, 2006, 7:24 am CST

These people are crazy

It is deplorable that this woman who continues to sleep with, vacation with and "pretend" to be married to her ex and files a restraining order for protection. She has totally abused the legal process which is in place to protect those women who really are in danger of abusive men or vice versa. I can't believe she has the nerve to laugh when asked why she does this. This is not funny, it is pathetic and only hurts those women who truly do need protection from abusive men that will not leave them alone. And by the way, what is she really worth as a potential spouse if her reason for not wanting the ex is because he lost his job?
 
February 23, 2006, 7:29 am CST

These people are crazy

It is deplorable that this woman who continues to sleep with, vacation with and "pretend" to be married to her ex and files a restraining order for protection. She has totally abused the legal process which is in place to protect those women who really are in danger of abusive men or vice versa. I can't believe she has the nerve to laugh when asked why she does this. This is not funny, it is pathetic and only hurts those women who truly do need protection from abusive men that will not leave them alone. And by the way, what is she really worth as a potential spouse if her reason for not wanting the ex is because he lost his job?
 
February 23, 2006, 7:48 am CST

perternity test

stacy i suggest you get a perternity test as soon as possible!! call your local state child enforcement agency and set up a test. i went through this myself and before the perternity test was done it was brought up everyday making my life pure hell. i was an emotional wreck. i say go to the state because it was around $117 dollars not $600 by a private testing place. at least that's one thing ya'll can put to rest. best of luck to the both of you.
 
February 23, 2006, 7:50 am CST

all in the mind

Quote From: tad225

As you watch this show, I don't want you to think I'm some horrible person.  I feel that I need to explain myself as I was so humiliated I couldn't even say a thing.  I made a fool of myself on TV and I appear to be the ex from hell.  Maybe I am.  I wish I could have spoken out more on the show but my crumbled confidence got the best of me.  I just wanted to crawl under a chair and hide like a coward.  I didn't continue to see Dan because I enjoyed the attention or being chased.  It's not that I wanted my cake and eat it too. It's not like that at all.  I still care for and have feelings for the man I was going to marry 14 months ago.  I thought I finally found my Mr. Right.  I put Dan on a pedestal and thought he could be the person I wanted him to be.  I wanted him to by my Mr. Right so badly but I only got deeply disappointed so much that I could never put myself in that position with Dan again in fear of getting hurt all over again.  I'm trying to avoid the situation that Stacie and her ex are in and many of you are in right now.  I honestly don't understand why I have such a difficult time letting him go.  We have such a good friendship and get along so well as long as I don't rely, depend or expect anything from him.  He has a difficulty maintaining a steady job.  He doesn't know when his next paycheck will be coming in and I refuse to live that way.  And I'm not going to put my future children in that situation.  That's why I would never be able to marry him.  I've always told this to Dan but he never thought I would ever actually leave him.  I did try being friends with him and I did tell him that someday I would be moving on.  So when I started showing interest in someone else, Dan got really jealous.  It's like he didn't know what he had until it was gone.  He tries to convince me that we should not throw what we have away.  I tell him that he had his chance and he blew it.  It's just too late for us as so much has happened.  I know Dr. Phil was trying to get me to stand up for myself.  I really do want to move on with my life.   I should have asked Dr. Phil how do I go about doing so when I still care for Dan?  He's all I knew for four years and we did have so many wonderful times.  It's like I'm addicted to him.

you know, if he is an addiction, the best thing you can do is go into rehab. :P.  You know you love him but it will never work, right?  Well, crackheads love crack and methheads love meth but it wont do them any good or make their lives better in anyway.  Stop "using the drug" and get some help for yourself because it is not the "drug" that is the problem here- it is the minds belief it has to have it.  Maybe one day a switch will go on up there and you will realize "this is NEVER EVER EVER going to work".  And until your mind gets it, you will be stuck in this mentality.   

  

The best advice I can give is from my own experience, when you are really sick of it and playing games, you will stop.  In the meanwhile, distract yourself with other "interests".  Whatever interests will distract you from your addiction while you quit cold turkey.  Because crack makes the addict feel good, but isnt any good for them.  And I think you know this relationship is in essence your "crack".  Maybe you are not addicted to the man, but how the man makes you feel at that moment and you keep going back for more??  I am not anybody, but that is what it looked like to me.  I am not judgemental towards you in anyway personally, I think you come off as a pretty cool gal.  That addiction just makes people do things they would never normally do, huh?:] 

  

  

 
February 23, 2006, 7:54 am CST

02/23 Exes From Hell

Quote From: jennieloo

arent ex's great?  I have a real winner myself.  Its hard to not hold bad feelings towards someone who stole $2000 worth of stuff out of my house and wont pay up on his child support.  He is using a legal way out- a bogus disability claim and keeps getting out of being responsible.  Then, he promises the kids he would take their dog when we moved, about a week later the dog ended up mysteriously on my property.  and yet he denies all of this.  He has threatened to make me miserable because I found someone new and moved on with my life.  Well, he sure made good on his threat.  I thought I could get beyond all of this but its been a year and it is still a challenge to talk to him civilly.  I suck it up though- not for him or me- but for the kids. 
If he is getting a disability check your children are entitled to a percentage of this. As far as the stealing of the 2000 dollars worth of stuff can you prove it? If you can take a warrant out for his arrest and get a restraining order. If he has stolen he is not a good example for these children see about having his visitation supervised. Just a thought.
 
February 23, 2006, 7:58 am CST

What the?

That first couple-she has just completey undermined the importance and neccesity of restraining orders and the real problems so many people have with stalkers and abusive partners.  She absolutely disgusted me.  He really is no better-how low does his self-esteem and common sense have to be before he realizes she is just getting her cake & eating it too?  (Offspring's song "Self-Esteem" comes to mind)  He also is twsting everything to try to validate his behavior-move on & stop being so obsessive, it's not attractive! 

  

The second couple-it's so unfortunate they are so hateful & vindictive to each other that they won't take their kids feelings into consideration and put their gloves down.  But I think he is a class A jerk.  He is blaming everyone else for his station in life and will take no responsiblity.  I'm not saying her calling his boss & complaing about his hours was the most mature thing to do, but it was obviously a last-straw cry for help.  And what kind fo boss fires you just for that?  Unless there's more to that story that just doesn't sound right.  I just don't understand all of these people who come on this show who's love for their spouse was obviously so conditional to begin with-why marry someone if you are not willing to put anything into the relationship??? 

 
February 23, 2006, 8:09 am CST

What happened to the woman who's children were missing because of a bad divorce

How about a follow up on the woman who's children were taken by their father, who wouldn't disclose their location even tho he was in jail?   

  

  

 
February 23, 2006, 8:18 am CST

Saying one thing, doing another

Quote From: tad225

As you watch this show, I don't want you to think I'm some horrible person.  I feel that I need to explain myself as I was so humiliated I couldn't even say a thing.  I made a fool of myself on TV and I appear to be the ex from hell.  Maybe I am.  I wish I could have spoken out more on the show but my crumbled confidence got the best of me.  I just wanted to crawl under a chair and hide like a coward.  I didn't continue to see Dan because I enjoyed the attention or being chased.  It's not that I wanted my cake and eat it too. It's not like that at all.  I still care for and have feelings for the man I was going to marry 14 months ago.  I thought I finally found my Mr. Right.  I put Dan on a pedestal and thought he could be the person I wanted him to be.  I wanted him to by my Mr. Right so badly but I only got deeply disappointed so much that I could never put myself in that position with Dan again in fear of getting hurt all over again.  I'm trying to avoid the situation that Stacie and her ex are in and many of you are in right now.  I honestly don't understand why I have such a difficult time letting him go.  We have such a good friendship and get along so well as long as I don't rely, depend or expect anything from him.  He has a difficulty maintaining a steady job.  He doesn't know when his next paycheck will be coming in and I refuse to live that way.  And I'm not going to put my future children in that situation.  That's why I would never be able to marry him.  I've always told this to Dan but he never thought I would ever actually leave him.  I did try being friends with him and I did tell him that someday I would be moving on.  So when I started showing interest in someone else, Dan got really jealous.  It's like he didn't know what he had until it was gone.  He tries to convince me that we should not throw what we have away.  I tell him that he had his chance and he blew it.  It's just too late for us as so much has happened.  I know Dr. Phil was trying to get me to stand up for myself.  I really do want to move on with my life.   I should have asked Dr. Phil how do I go about doing so when I still care for Dan?  He's all I knew for four years and we did have so many wonderful times.  It's like I'm addicted to him.

I think you're brave to have gone on the Dr. Phil show. I know I couldn't do it. 

  

However, I think a lot of the answer to your situation lies in the very post you've written. Read it carefully, Tracie. You say one thing, but your actions say something much different. 

  

He has a difficulty maintaining a steady job.  He doesn't know when his next paycheck will be coming in and I refuse to live that way.  

  

Do you? If you refused to live that way, then you would end the relationship for good. You wouldn't still be sleeping with him and sending him cards saying you love him. You say he's a "psycho" but you're telling this "psycho" you love him. 

  

I did try being friends with him and I did tell him that someday I would be moving on.  

  

Did you mean that? You clearly have not moved on.  

  

I really do want to move on with my life.  

  

Your actions do not indicate this or you would not still be spending time with this guy. As long as you stay in contact with him in any manner (trying to be "just friends"), he is going to think he stands a chance with you. Believe me, I've been there, done that. 

  

It's like I'm addicted to him. 

 

Then you need to seek "treatment" to get over your addiction. That means withdrawl. That means getting away from the source of your addiction. Get counseling. Don't stay in the situation. 

  

Tracie, I get the feeling that you think Dan is the only man who will ever really want to be with you. I sense a true lack of self esteem in you, that if you let this guy go, nobody else will love you. NOT TRUE. It's going to hurt to make a break from this guy but for your own sanity and your future, you have to do it. Otherwise, this painful cycle will go on and on. You know he's not the one for you. Now act on that wisdom and move on. 

  

I truly hope you can summon the will to move on and will be praying for you. 

 
February 23, 2006, 8:20 am CST

02/23 Exes From Hell

Quote From: tad225

As you watch this show, I don't want you to think I'm some horrible person.  I feel that I need to explain myself as I was so humiliated I couldn't even say a thing.  I made a fool of myself on TV and I appear to be the ex from hell.  Maybe I am.  I wish I could have spoken out more on the show but my crumbled confidence got the best of me.  I just wanted to crawl under a chair and hide like a coward.  I didn't continue to see Dan because I enjoyed the attention or being chased.  It's not that I wanted my cake and eat it too. It's not like that at all.  I still care for and have feelings for the man I was going to marry 14 months ago.  I thought I finally found my Mr. Right.  I put Dan on a pedestal and thought he could be the person I wanted him to be.  I wanted him to by my Mr. Right so badly but I only got deeply disappointed so much that I could never put myself in that position with Dan again in fear of getting hurt all over again.  I'm trying to avoid the situation that Stacie and her ex are in and many of you are in right now.  I honestly don't understand why I have such a difficult time letting him go.  We have such a good friendship and get along so well as long as I don't rely, depend or expect anything from him.  He has a difficulty maintaining a steady job.  He doesn't know when his next paycheck will be coming in and I refuse to live that way.  And I'm not going to put my future children in that situation.  That's why I would never be able to marry him.  I've always told this to Dan but he never thought I would ever actually leave him.  I did try being friends with him and I did tell him that someday I would be moving on.  So when I started showing interest in someone else, Dan got really jealous.  It's like he didn't know what he had until it was gone.  He tries to convince me that we should not throw what we have away.  I tell him that he had his chance and he blew it.  It's just too late for us as so much has happened.  I know Dr. Phil was trying to get me to stand up for myself.  I really do want to move on with my life.   I should have asked Dr. Phil how do I go about doing so when I still care for Dan?  He's all I knew for four years and we did have so many wonderful times.  It's like I'm addicted to him.

Tracie, more women than you think totally understand what you're going through.  If my ex was just a little different in a few areas, we could have made it, but I realized after 10 years that he was never going to change.  That's when I accepted our failed marriage.  You are getting out early.  Good for you.  You and Dan need to cut it off completely.  I'm a true believer that "exes" can be friends, but in some cases, it's better to totally let go.  And as you both grow away from each other, he'll get his life in order and he'll have become a better man because of you.  And you will definitely learn lessons from this experience.  I know it's hard to let go of the familiar feelings, especially after 4 years!  People end up getting married because it doesn't hurt as much as the feeling of lonliness after a break up.  Most of those marriages are disasters.  We all make stupid mistakes because of love.  Don't beat yourself up.  Just make that changes you need to make in your life and keep moving on!  More power to ya, girl! 

Susan 

 
February 23, 2006, 8:30 am CST

Exes From Hell

Tracie needs to get rid of that bum now.  No relationship is better than a bad relationship.
 
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