I am glad that there is a show on this. I do not think that most people understand what it is like when one person refuses to let go. My ex is currently fighting for unsupervised visitation with our two children. There is supervision in place because my ex is bi-polar (unmanaged), an alcoholic/substance abuse issues and a history of domestic violence. Both of my children have special care requirements and are special needs. Educating the court system has at times been a battle to make them understand. He portrays himself as the victim and the las court commissioner almost took pity on him. She told me that I need to take responsibility for my ex refusing to see the kids. She also told me that I need to get over this alcohol thing because he said he's well. I held my ground with the court commissioner explaining that he had provided no proof and that he was currently on probation for violating a restraining order.
I was horrified at her ignorance about substance abuse and domestic violence. I was involved in a very unhealthy relationship with this man. I understand why I made that horrible choice. What most people don't understand is that you are seduced and drawn into this relationship. I look back now and I see every calculated move. The other subject that never comes up; is the discrimination against you for that bad choice. The state where I live you have to really watch how you address the subject and if you look too capable as a parent your labeled a control freak. I'm guilty of being an active parent and I am the children's advocate for the courts, health care and schooling. That is how I am taking responsibility. The courts do not fully grasp the ramifications of these decisions that they make. My son is five and half years old, he loves us both. He has nightmares about the ghost (his father) hurting us because alot of the abuse occurred in front of both of my children. He is afraid of being left and has abandonment issues. My daughter shares the same dream. She will point to a picture of a ghost and call it daddy. He is trying the same old tricks to lure the children into this abusive relationship. The children do not have the ability to act in their best interest. I was given some very good and frank advice to put two pictures on their dresser; one of their father and one with both him and them. He told me that it would give me a good guage on how they feel about the relationship and their feelings regarding it. My son almost immediately disposed of the picture that had both of the in it. I haven't seen the other picture in over a year. So, the subject of his absence from their life is only broached if one of the kids bring it up.
The last time the children their father, he couldn't stop telling me what a wonderful job I was doing with the children and that he'd wish I would reconsider. A week later in court could not slander me enough. I have another friend who is a single mother of two children and her ex is also bi-polar; he pops in and out of her children's lives. Thankfully in her situation, he only pops in when he on medication and has his life in order. She asked me once if I get child support and I laughed. I told her that I don't care about the child support; I just want peace for me and my children. I want to not have to worry or have them worry about the time they spend with their father. I realize that supervised visitation limits the type of relationship that their father can have. He is sick and in such denial of his problems that I believe that is truly the best that can be afforded to him. The children and their needs have to come first.
Everyone knows someone who’s been in a bad breakup. Dr. Phil’s guests say they’ve got ex-mates from hell! Tracie called off her wedding over a year ago, but her ex-fiancé, Dan, still won’t leave her alone. He calls every morning to say he loves her, but when he hacked into her computer and e-mailed a man she was dating, and when he broke into her house, she filed a restraining order against him. Dan says Tracie is the love of his life, and thinks they still have a chance to patch things up. Then, Stacie says her ex-husband, Ted, is making her life miserable. Since their marriage ended, she says he abandoned her and their three sons financially. Can she get Ted to step up and pay child support, or will she and the kids be out on the street? Talk about the show here.
