Topic : 02/23 Exes From Hell

I was left with the impression that Ted felt because the relationship was over so were his parental duties. He struck as a man who thinks the child support he pays is going to her -  shopping trips or nights out etc. Child support is meant to maintain the standard of living the children have become accustom to. It is meant to be for their portion of the mortage, electricity, groceries, school fees, clothing, activities etc.  If a woman takes a couple of dollars to buy herself a new pair of shoes (or whatever) as long as the children's shelter and necessaties are continuing to be met, no one has the right to comment. Consider it re-imbursement for the light bill or the phone bill that she just paid, not to mention the weekly grocery bill for three growing boys. One thing Stacie can take comfort in, as long as her head stays high and she takes the high road ignoring Ted's immaturity - the boys will see this and grow up to understand the truth. Not only will they understand, but they will probably show better respect for their children. Stacie and the boys are a family now, Ted has exiled himself with his behaviour. He probably feel like the only power he has left over them is the money, well Stacie will eventually be self-supporting - then what will you have Ted? 

Thank you! 

Stacie 

You are sweet to respond the way you did. You are right, it is just so hard to read about people talking about my life like they know me. I know in my heart I am a good person and am doing everything in my power to be a good mother to my boys. That is why I went to Dr. Phil for help is because of my boys.  

Thanks again, 

Stacie 

He wasn't told to make more money. We lived very modestly in California. When we moved back to k the housing is super low in comparison. I would live in a shack anyday if I had a loving family for my kids. 

Stacie 

Man, your story brought back memories.  First off, TAKE NOT ONE BIT OF BLAME FOR HIS LOSS OF A JOB!  He was a jerk for blaming you or his family, and shame on him for that!  Either his ex boss is such a toad to fire him for one lousy phone call or he was doing a lousy job to begin with.  One call doesn't get a guy fired; poor performance does. 

Your worthless ex did everything the way all worthless exes do business.  My worthless ex enticed me to quit my job to stay at home with the kids; the day AFTER I did, he left us.  He needed a good excuse for being such a complete louse to leave a wife and two kids (especially after having spent months having affairs, I learned this later) so all of a sudden I cheated and our younger daughter wasn't his.  Surprise, surprise, he didn't want to spring for the expensive DNA test to find out what he already knew!  My ex tried to attack me when I took the last three hundred bucks out of our joint bank account; a month before, he had cleared out over five thousand.  He didn't take the car, he just had it repoed.  He bashed me to every person with an ear who would listen.  Didn't stop me from taking his sorry arse to court for ordered child support. 

I didn't go back to work right away.  I lived with Mom and Dad for a little while and went back to school.  Oh yeah, the fun of food stamps!  Ick.  What the "enlightened" Dr. Phil doesn't realize is that most moms take a hiatus from their own educations to support these wonderful men who dump them in the end.  Without a degree, you're working two jobs and seeing your kids an hour a day.  (Shame on Dr. Phil for jumping on you about that, by the way!)  Do some research and see what kind of things you can get going on your own to support your kids.  There's a lot of help for the single mom who goes out and gets it.  Work in the meantime until you can achieve the goals YOU want.  Just because you have a chump for an ex doesn't mean you have to give up your goals.  I didn't. 

Long story short, I am now married to the most wonderful man in the world.  We have my two daughters and a toddler son, and I am at home with him, pursuing my writing career!  The girls' dad remarried; when the girls have their visitation WITH THEIR GRANDFATHER, he likes to brag to them about how much happier he is now that it is just him and his wife and they can travel anywhere they want.  (Can you believe it?  The nerve of this guy!)  Nevertheless, they are happy and we have a great new family to grow in, and I have a spectacular man to grow old with!  It looks bad now, but don't worry.  It will all get better; all you need is a little determination.  Make that twerp of an ex a distant memory and go for it!  You'll be all right! 

Some things really are just black and white. Dan is a stalker okay. So we know his problem but real issue is Tracy.  After rejection and protection orders a stalker should start to get the hint but how can one if you continue to sleep with him and go out ect. She keeps Dan around when it is convienent for her and when its not he is a stalker. She mad her bed and is laying in it with him. Get some professional help. 

 Being a stay at home mother of 3 boys is not a free ticket. 

Stacie 

there is a very small ignorant portion of women who think like that but the majority want their children because once a child is born from your womb that is what you live for. Your heart beats for your child.  

Yes she needs to get a job and support her children and budget. I would not give her one more dime then what it takes to take care of the children. 

And heck no she is not responsible for his job. He was on the bubble before that. One phone call. Give me break.