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Topic : 07/05 Liar, Liar

Number of Replies: 239
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Created on : Friday, February 17, 2006, 03:18:31 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 02/24/06) "I got stuck in traffic." "The check is in the mail." "No, you don’t look fat in those jeans." Everyone fibs once in a while, right? Dr. Phil talks to compulsive liars. Libby says her brother, Matt, destroyed their family with his conning and stealing. He ran up a $300 phone bill in his mother, Ellen’s, name, stole Libby’s social security number and racked up $6,000 worth of debt. Matt says he’s ready to come clean, but Libby and Ellen say he has told so many lies, they don’t know what to believe anymore. Then, Melinda feels her 14-year-old daughter, Tricia’s, lying is out of control. Tricia lied about being pregnant, but she has never had sex. She even told the police her father “beat the crap out” of her and had him arrested! Find out what prompts her to make up so many stories. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

 

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February 23, 2006, 5:27 pm CST

INTERESTING

Quote From: mommiegwen

Want to talk about lying? Let's start w/how we bring up our children we start with Santa Claus move on to the tooth fairy, then go to the easter bunny,oh yeah leprechauns bring pots of gold, 4 leaf clovers bring luck(if that was true I'd be richeer than oprah, skinny,and beautiful). We tell oour children its wrong to lie but then we teach them to lie. American society is built on lies. Every man is equal (the people who wrote that are celebrated liars as they had black men and women in slavery at the time, freedom again when that was wrote slavery was booming in America. ALL lying is wrong. We feel lying is wron when we are the one lied to what about when we are the liar and everyone on earth has lied at least once(and that's a big stretch saying once) in their life. Men lie to women toget sex, women lie to get what they want, kids lie to get out of trouble or get what they want.. The President is the current biggest liar in America and getting paid by our taxes to do it. It's wrong and the Bible says a liar is the same as a thief and a murderer- they steal the truth and murder it.  
This is a very interesting take on the subject.    It made me think further than my family liar.    I saw on TV that normal people lie constantly in social situations.   It makes life easier to say someone has a nice dress when you think it is ugly as sin for example.   People also routinely lie to exagerate their good points and of course at the beginning of a dating relationship there is a lot of lying going on.     I guess we are all liars and that's no lie.
 
February 23, 2006, 6:11 pm CST

I like your input

Quote From: mommiegwen

Want to talk about lying? Let's start w/how we bring up our children we start with Santa Claus move on to the tooth fairy, then go to the easter bunny,oh yeah leprechauns bring pots of gold, 4 leaf clovers bring luck(if that was true I'd be richeer than oprah, skinny,and beautiful). We tell oour children its wrong to lie but then we teach them to lie. American society is built on lies. Every man is equal (the people who wrote that are celebrated liars as they had black men and women in slavery at the time, freedom again when that was wrote slavery was booming in America. ALL lying is wrong. We feel lying is wron when we are the one lied to what about when we are the liar and everyone on earth has lied at least once(and that's a big stretch saying once) in their life. Men lie to women toget sex, women lie to get what they want, kids lie to get out of trouble or get what they want.. The President is the current biggest liar in America and getting paid by our taxes to do it. It's wrong and the Bible says a liar is the same as a thief and a murderer- they steal the truth and murder it.  
I for one do not and have not taught my child about Santa, tooth fairy, etc.  because I don't believe.   However she does believe, and that is strictly for social situations, I mean why do I have to be careful around others children, I/we  say things in company of others, and will say for instance that there is no Santa Claus.   I do it in part of our economic situation, because if she wants something that is beyond my realm, than she needs to know that some kid in our situation will not get the XBOX 360.  

Kudos to you for saying our President is the biggest liar...    LOL....  

I have lied in the past, and probably will do so in the future, but to me a LIE IS A LIE.... 
 
February 23, 2006, 8:19 pm CST

Posibble Answer

Quote From: zitsahoy

The liar in my life gets very angry whenever anybody ties to point out the truth to them.      

Why do you think it is this way?   Is it so hard to face the facts?   What do you think makes them this way?   I dont want to put too much energy into this question because I have already decided to give up on him but would be interested in anyone who has found the answer to these questions. 

I don't know that anyone can tell the real answer to those questions but, the therapist says that because of her childhood and the fact that she has never had a good image of herself, she reacts to everything by lying.  As a child she would lie to make people like her, as an adult its no different.  She would lie to keep out of trouble (as most of us have done), and as an adult she does the same thing.   

Facing the facts and the truth might put someone like that into a state of depression, think about it, all of a sudden they realize their life is not what they were hoping for, they aren't who they wanted to be, they don't have the things they've always wanted, they aren't rich, they didn't marry Mr. Perfect, all of this could wreck a person if they've always pretended to be something other than who they really are.     

I'm sure there are many reasons why pathological liars are just that.  My sister's therapist says that because she has lied for 20+ years and has always gotten away with it, it has become truth. 

Good luck. 

BEV 

 
February 24, 2006, 4:50 am CST

They tell the same lies....

One of my best friends in high school and my roommate in college were both pathological liars.  The funny thing is, although they had never met, they told the SAME LIES!!  My husband's co-worker is also that way so we limit contact with him. One day he was around and spinning some tale or another and I flat out told him "You are trying to make people like you better. I guarentee you they will like you MUCH more if you stop lying."  Didn't work by the way.... 

  

Anyway, I have little kids and when I catch them lying I make them own up to it immediately. When they have to admit it and apologize to someone, they tend to not repeat the behavior.  All the liars on the show continue to lie because it has worked for them for so long. 

  

Steph 

 
February 24, 2006, 4:55 am CST

02/24 Liar, Liar

Hi everyone. My name is Starla Sky. Nice 2 meet U.. 

I'm looking forward to today's show. I think it will be interesting to see how Dr. Phil handles liers. This way maybe I can learn how to handle liers myself. It just drives me nuts how people feel that they need to lier in order to have people notice or like them. Very frustrating! For me, liers are like nails on a chalk board. 

From: Starla Sky 

"Foever remember!" 

 
February 24, 2006, 6:25 am CST

02/24 Liar, Liar

Quote From: monkey719

I for one do not and have not taught my child about Santa, tooth fairy, etc.  because I don't believe.   However she does believe, and that is strictly for social situations, I mean why do I have to be careful around others children, I/we  say things in company of others, and will say for instance that there is no Santa Claus.   I do it in part of our economic situation, because if she wants something that is beyond my realm, than she needs to know that some kid in our situation will not get the XBOX 360.  

Kudos to you for saying our President is the biggest liar...    LOL....  

I have lied in the past, and probably will do so in the future, but to me a LIE IS A LIE.... 

" mean why do I have to be careful around others children, I/we  say things in company of others, and will say for instance that there is no Santa Claus" 

 

Just because your children haven't been brought up to 'believe' in santa clause or the tooth fairy doesn't mean that you shouldn't say there is no such thing in front of other people's children. Lets say there's a child who believes in God, and a woman who didn't bring her child up to believe in God. If that child asks you something about God would you tell them there is no such thing? This is the same thing. Perhaps you should look up the history of Santa Clause.  
     Why would you even bother telling other people (children) that santa clause isn't real? Isn't that choice for their parents? I could see you saying something like 'some people don't believe in santa clause' but to tell a child (that is not your own) that he (or his spirit) does not exist, is wrong.  

 
February 24, 2006, 6:46 am CST

02/24 Liar, Liar

Some lies can destroy lives. Some lies can keep peace in the house. Question does the outcome make the lie any less of a lie. Do you husbands who love your wives dearly when asked does this make my butt look big do you lie through your teeth and say of course not and hope and pray she doesn't ask you what you think about her hair? Or do you tactfully tell her the truth. Oh and if you do tell her the truth are you sleeping on the couch that night or in your bed. Sometimes I think a question is asked hoping for the lie. Why is it we are more willing to believe the bad in people than to accept the good? If I say someone is a thief even if it is a lie you are more apt to believe that then if I say that person wouldn't take from you if you had a gun to his head. We let ourselves get sucked into lies because we either want to believe the worst about a person or the best. A lie begets another but it all ends with the truth. Lies are the drama in the world. Truth brings it to an end. The truth will stand when the worlds on fire.  
 
February 24, 2006, 7:15 am CST

THANKS

Quote From: bev3horses

I don't know that anyone can tell the real answer to those questions but, the therapist says that because of her childhood and the fact that she has never had a good image of herself, she reacts to everything by lying.  As a child she would lie to make people like her, as an adult its no different.  She would lie to keep out of trouble (as most of us have done), and as an adult she does the same thing.   

Facing the facts and the truth might put someone like that into a state of depression, think about it, all of a sudden they realize their life is not what they were hoping for, they aren't who they wanted to be, they don't have the things they've always wanted, they aren't rich, they didn't marry Mr. Perfect, all of this could wreck a person if they've always pretended to be something other than who they really are.     

I'm sure there are many reasons why pathological liars are just that.  My sister's therapist says that because she has lied for 20+ years and has always gotten away with it, it has become truth. 

Good luck. 

BEV 

Yes I agree that a lifelong habit stops just being a habit and becomes part of their personality.    If they lie long enough it stops being a choice and they just beomce a "liar".    The most disturbing part is that the pathological ones believe their own lies.    The one in my life is a relative and he says one thing one minute and believes it, then something completely different half an hour later, and believes it.    I used to try to point out these things, but he would just argue back with more lies.    Very frustrating and I have given up now because it is not my problem.    I know all humans lie but there comes a point where they dont seem to be able to tell the truth from their fantasy world any more.     Thanks for responding to my post and have a great day. 

 
February 24, 2006, 7:29 am CST

02/24 Liar, Liar

I think that lyeing becomes a way of life for some people.  My father lives his entire life based on and surrounded with lies and he thinks thats okay.  Its just the way he was made. 
 
February 24, 2006, 7:32 am CST

Does Matt splatter when he walks?

He's so full of you-know-what, surely he leaves brown puddles when he walks down the street.  "I lie because I'm obese!"  What load of junk is that?  Just another sob story to tell the mom and the sister so they feel sorry for him and stop hounding him.  An extra 200 pounds on your frame does NOT make you a compulsive liar.  He could be 150 pounds and he'd still be a liar.   

  

My husband's uncle was a compulsive liar.  He wasn't obese, so there goes Matt's brilliant deduction.  He just lied.  His mother would beg her other son, my husband's dad, to bail his brother out of jail, out of debt, and my father-in-law would do it for her.  The result?  My father-in-law now lives day to day when he could have had a comfortable retirement.  And his brother, up until the day he died, was always a mooching, compulsive liar.  Nothing ever changes with enabling. 

  

If his sister wants to do him a favor, she'll press charges.  He needs to have consequences for his actions.  He wasted his chances long ago.  Time for him to pay the piper.  Maybe he'll lose some weight in prison and prove his little "I like because I'm obese" theory.  I really doubt it. 

 
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