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Topic : 07/05 Liar, Liar

Number of Replies: 239
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Created on : Friday, February 17, 2006, 03:18:31 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 02/24/06) "I got stuck in traffic." "The check is in the mail." "No, you don’t look fat in those jeans." Everyone fibs once in a while, right? Dr. Phil talks to compulsive liars. Libby says her brother, Matt, destroyed their family with his conning and stealing. He ran up a $300 phone bill in his mother, Ellen’s, name, stole Libby’s social security number and racked up $6,000 worth of debt. Matt says he’s ready to come clean, but Libby and Ellen say he has told so many lies, they don’t know what to believe anymore. Then, Melinda feels her 14-year-old daughter, Tricia’s, lying is out of control. Tricia lied about being pregnant, but she has never had sex. She even told the police her father “beat the crap out” of her and had him arrested! Find out what prompts her to make up so many stories. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

 

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February 24, 2006, 7:36 am CST

02/24 Liar, Liar

Quote From: misnkidz

I think that lyeing becomes a way of life for some people.  My father lives his entire life based on and surrounded with lies and he thinks thats okay.  Its just the way he was made. 
The truth can be scary but one thing about it it's easier to remember. I have never heard of someone making up a truth to cover up a truth. Lies always come to light and when they do they destroy every bit of trust the people around you have for you. You know your father lies how much faith do you put in him and what he says?
 
February 24, 2006, 7:50 am CST

I seen myself on stage

I was watching todays show and I could have swore someone was writing a book on my life. I have a SD thats 13, shes been telling people that I am abusing her...none of these have been proven or reported to anyone. She olny says thses things when she is mad at me or in trouble for getting Fs in school. There is a good chance that we will lose her and her sister because of all the lies that she has said about me. It doesnt help that she wants her mom and dad back together and that she doesnt like me here.
 
February 24, 2006, 8:31 am CST

liar liar

Quote From: zitsahoy

Yes I agree that a lifelong habit stops just being a habit and becomes part of their personality.    If they lie long enough it stops being a choice and they just beomce a "liar".    The most disturbing part is that the pathological ones believe their own lies.    The one in my life is a relative and he says one thing one minute and believes it, then something completely different half an hour later, and believes it.    I used to try to point out these things, but he would just argue back with more lies.    Very frustrating and I have given up now because it is not my problem.    I know all humans lie but there comes a point where they dont seem to be able to tell the truth from their fantasy world any more.     Thanks for responding to my post and have a great day. 

I was beginning  to  think that I  was  the only person with a family member that behaves this way! My husband of just over 2 years has a bad  problem wiht lying!  Before we  got  married I told him  what my  boundries were.  I will not  tolerate a liar5 or a  thief!  He is both  and I  didnt see this before because he  is  such a  good  liar, but  they  gotta  sleep  sometime! It consumes a lot  of  my  energy  just staying one  step  ahead.  But I  do  the homework to  check  out  his  stories!  Once I  caught him in that  first lie!  I havent stopped!  I chack out everything  he tells  me!  And when  i  catch him theres  hell to  pay. I have dug back  far enough  to  discover that most  of this isa  result of his  childhood!  hisparentsd didnt think that telling  the  truth was a neccesity apparently.  His  father was deceased before I  meet him as is  mine.  His Mother  lives for creating  turmoil and had I have known these  things I dont  think I would have  touched  him with  a 10 foot  pole.   My parents taught  me for better or worse. I realize  that a lot of  this is a self defense mechanism. I just wish he realized that  I am not the  person heshould  have  ever lied to from the  start.  Anybody got any suggestions?  We have  been to a coiunselor .  We got  nowhere  I  think it just wasnt  the  right  match!  But she w as able  to  shed some  light on  one of his many behavior problems.  He is a borderline personality  disorder and the last counselor said he needs to  be  in an  anger managment class. Help!
 
February 24, 2006, 8:44 am CST

Lying brother

My brother lies all the time! I am just 18 years old and he has already ruined my life from abusing me. I feel like I am his culprit because of his guilt for doing what he did to me. He convinces people into believing his petty lies also. For example he asked my sister in law if I have been sending any MEAN emails and she said "Yes she's been emailing me but none that are mean" So he calls my mother and tells her that I've been sending mean emails! Why do they lie like that and how do you get them to stop when you know they see everybody around with the problem and they're fine!? He lies and tells everybody that when he was a teenager my mom fed him through doors and wouldn't let him go anywhere. He blames her for the way he is today. She did not do anything wrong at all. Please, somebody help me understand this! I'm just 18 and feel a heart attack coming before age 20!
 
February 24, 2006, 8:47 am CST

I could use some advice about a liar at work

Hi out there! I was so interested in today's topic because I am finding myself in a position with a co-worker who seems to be a compulsive liar. I am a teacher and I work on a team with 3 other outstanding teachers. We four have been working together for 2 years now and we love to work with each other. This year, a fifth member was brought on to our team and at first we were all very open and accepting of her. Then, it became blatantly obvious that she lies, constantly, about just about everything. She lies about personal matters, but she also lies about professional matters and even the students. I am an accepting, kind person and I did confront her about her lying a while back, but she continues to lie. Now I find it so difficult to work with her that I actually feel very unease when I see her and down right disgusted when I have to deal with her. Yet, as a professional I must deal with her in a respectful manner, even though she lies, lies, lies. Any advice out there?
 
February 24, 2006, 8:48 am CST

I was not clear

Quote From: aprilraine

" mean why do I have to be careful around others children, I/we  say things in company of others, and will say for instance that there is no Santa Claus" 

 

Just because your children haven't been brought up to 'believe' in santa clause or the tooth fairy doesn't mean that you shouldn't say there is no such thing in front of other people's children. Lets say there's a child who believes in God, and a woman who didn't bring her child up to believe in God. If that child asks you something about God would you tell them there is no such thing? This is the same thing. Perhaps you should look up the history of Santa Clause.  
     Why would you even bother telling other people (children) that santa clause isn't real? Isn't that choice for their parents? I could see you saying something like 'some people don't believe in santa clause' but to tell a child (that is not your own) that he (or his spirit) does not exist, is wrong.  

Sorry, but I dont do that, and it does seem that way when I posted...

What I was reffering to was  is when my  child  says it.  It has happened once, and the mother of the other child and Me have corrected it..
I am familiar with the history of santa claus.   But lets face it there is no man in a red suit that comes down a chimney to give presents.  


 
February 24, 2006, 8:49 am CST

Step children!!

Quote From: whimax

I was watching todays show and I could have swore someone was writing a book on my life. I have a SD thats 13, shes been telling people that I am abusing her...none of these have been proven or reported to anyone. She olny says thses things when she is mad at me or in trouble for getting Fs in school. There is a good chance that we will lose her and her sister because of all the lies that she has said about me. It doesnt help that she wants her mom and dad back together and that she doesnt like me here.

I have to say that living with step children is a real problem.   You really can't defend yourself, as the "darling" is the love of your spouse.   Try to stay calm.  Stick to reality.  And keep facts straight.   Don't gloat when you have proven yourself correctly against the child.   When the next issue comes up, just remind your spouse that on the previous issue, you were the honest one.  Yes, the child is capable of causing very much trouble between you and your spouse.   I have survived 3 very bad step children.  It didn't help that my spouse's mother was putting her two cents worth into each argument.  But time does tell.  When stepson #2  (age 24) was living with grandma, she complained about his slovenly behavior.  The same slovenly behavior that grandma endorsed when I was the one cleaning the house.    My husband and I are now "empty nesters" and life is so much better now that the 3 are grown and out of the house.    

Decide who is going to run your life.  Pick you battles.  Hang in there!!! 

 
February 24, 2006, 8:52 am CST

about the big guy

that guy is exactly like my ex husband.  he was overweight and did the exact same behaviors.  I was surprised of the similarities- my ex let himself get up to over 300, he has a bald head like this guy and a goatee and lies and destroys the people around him just like that.  He had a victim's mentality and manipulated people to feel sorry for him just like that guy.  He is nice to the people he lies to and when he is caught he is sheepish and "sorry", or he will lie to the end if the law is involved.  I have a lot of resentment towards my ex just like that guys sister for destroying my life and taking what doesnt belong to him but being nice while he does it.  It's like a nice anti-social crook that never gets held accountable.  Dr phil is right- unless his life is a picture window and he feels the full effects of his actions he will never get better.  My ex is too used to being comfortable and any sign of discomfort he will back out; I hope this guy can rise above and pull it together. 
 
February 24, 2006, 8:58 am CST

liar ex

My ex lies all the time. I really don't know whether anything he says is the truth or not. He would lie about everything. I really think his lying stemmed from really low self esteem. I noticed when things were pretty good in our relationship he would make up stuff a lot less. He would make up completely ridiculous lies, especially if he was nervous or wanted to make a good impression. Sometimes I really think he got to where he believed his own lies. I'm not mad about it anymore. I know people can change, but I seriously doubt he ever will.
 
February 24, 2006, 9:03 am CST

Compasion for Libby

Not sure if you will get these messages.  Mine is this.....You seem to be truly a victim of your brothers afflictions.  My heart goes out to you and I admire your courage to have your voice in this.  Your family's journey will probably be long and hard.  To go on such a trip makes you a precious child of the universe.  My best to you.
 
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