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Topic : 02/27 Twisted Love: The Aftermath

Number of Replies: 1182
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, February 24, 2006, 11:20:56 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil follows up with one of this year's most talked about couples: Charles and Tracy. Charles had been juggling his time between his wife and mistress. He wanted to have them both, so he came up with the perfect solution: polyfidelity, a relationship in which he is shared by the two women. Tracy says she can't express her anger over the affair because she doesn't know how. Will she fight for her rights for the first time in 20 years of marriage? Charles claims he said goodbye to the other woman, but why did it take four meetings? Is it "goodbye forever" or just "goodbye for now"? Plus, their oldest son speaks out about his father's behavior, and Tracy has a message for the other woman. Talk about the show here.

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February 27, 2006, 2:48 am CST

i feel like the wife

Honestly i could be the wife of this guy because hes doing the same thing my husband is.  The only thing is i cant seem to get through to my husband about letting the other woman go and there are 2. He has the "they are my friend" complex I actually did tell one of them to go away and never come back and the other i offered to kick her butt and he actually told her i could and would if i had to. the first one tried the whole time he was in Iraq to get him, she even tried to tell him they had a baby together to get him. Turns out she lied. I think she finally made a clean break when she told my husband the truth there was no kid. oddly enough he forgave her for lying. Every woman in his life is still in his life, from the H.S. sweetheart he left behind to me and the two whores. by the way i feel that way because the second one took advantage of him being in Iraq for a year and away from his wife. I cought him in this one. Tracked him all the way to his house with an address he left in plain view. My problem is i have to let him be friends with these women when i cant trust the friendships. He talks to  his H.S. sweetheart almost every week specific time. She only wants friendship.  The frist one he cheated with went back to her kids father after 2 years( it will happen again).  The second moved away but stays in touch currently married with child, ( childs father is my question). Age screams that it could be my husbands or her husbands, yes she was cheating on her current husband when they were just dating. I'm frustrated because i feel like no matter how hard i try im the one loosing in the end, he always gets what he wants and if i try to make him stop he gets angry and does it more. The " if im accused of, i might as well be guilty" and his dad does it too.
 
February 27, 2006, 3:37 am CST

please rescue yourself

i am shocked, really i am. i can't think of any reason on the whole world that can make her withstand such humilation.she deserves a more better life than this one, she should leave him at this very moment,even if he really stopped seeing the other woman, which i can't believe and believe me she will never be able to forget or to forgive what he did to her.All the time she will feel that he is out doing something mean, cause she will not be able to trust him anymore. finally i believe that out there, there is a more better life and a more better chance  waiting for her. please my last advice to you will be: stop doing this to yourself, stop wasting your life with one who was not and will not appreciate your presence in his life. even if you didn't succeed in finding another spouse, try to succeed in finding yourself.
 
February 27, 2006, 4:33 am CST

thats just wrong

"My dad came to me first to talk about the affair before he even mentioned it to my mom" explains Chas. 

  

Why in the hell would you speak to your seventeen year old (A CHILD) about an affair before speaking to your wife(an ADULT)??? 

  

I can think of two reasons... 

  

1.  Youre a frickin idiot. 

  

2.  You are trying to get your child to side with you over their mother.   

  

Its early in the morning yet and im only working on one cup of coffee so if anyone has any other ideas I would be interested in hearing them. 

  

 
February 27, 2006, 5:24 am CST

02/27 Twisted Love: The Aftermath

Quote From: liatsunami

 Honestly, I really could care less about the "God" stuff. 

In my opinion the only reason there was anything WRONG with the situation was because the wife didn't want to go along with it.  I mean the guy is MARRIED to her and he should at least respect her wishes.  I mean if I were her he would have gotten a swift kick in the groin for even THINKING about going there, but that's because _I_ don't lke to share.  Some people do, and there's nothing MORALLY wrong with that when everyone involved is okay with it. 

I don't see why everytime something comes up that offends someone's moral code they have to go and bring GOD into it.  It's like people need to mention a divine power so that their opinion feels like it's right, to add more weight to it.   I don't see why people can't just say  what they believe and why, with a concrete reason.  How does saying "God says this" or "God says that" make anyone have to THINK for themselves about why they believe something? Ugh....it just irritates me. 


Its the sex stuff.  Whenever there is a discussion about sex the boards go buggery with the God speak.  I dont understand why people cant have convos about sex without bringing God/religion into it but apparently... they just cant!  lol 

  

You spoke about the government legislating morality.  While I do agree with you on this to a certain point, my question has always been where does one draw the line?  Seems government does need to legislate some sort of morality or else we wouldnt be prosecuting murderers, child abusers etc etc etc. 

 
February 27, 2006, 5:25 am CST

It is so easy to judge when you havent been there.

I used to say that I would NEVER stay with a man that cheated on me.  I used to believe that.  I would meet people that would say they had survived affairs and i would be disgusted.  In my eyes they were so week...so pathetic.  Little did I know that when faced with the same situation I wouldn’t be able to make a decision like that?

  

 

 

  

 

My husband and I have been together for ten years.  We have five beautiful children together and our marriage appeared to be the poster marriage for everyone around. I am the PTA President and my children’s school and he the treasurer.  I call and he comes running and the other way around.  We doted on each other and centered our worlds on each other then all of a sudden 3 weeks ago out of the blue he came home and told me he didn’t love me anymore.  He didn’t know why or how but that he didn’t want to be with me.  My heart broke.  I felt like I was blindsided by an eighteen wheeler.  Two weeks after telling me this he left.  My five children and I sat and cried together as we watched him walk out.  I asked him to go to marriage counseling and he agreed.  On the way to marriage counseling I found out that he had been seeing someone else and even slept with her twice.  I talked to her on the phone and had it confirmed.  I was so broken yet STILL wanted to make it work.  I walked into counseling with him and while in the office he called HER to make sure she was ok while I sat beside him and cried in complete shock.

  

 

 

  

 

His reasoning was that she is soft and tender and everything he needed.  I am strong and rough around the edges. 

  

 

 

  

 

In marriage counseling the therapist told us there was no hope.  That there couldn’t be three people in a marriage and my husband refused to give her up.  We left that day with my heart completely broken.  Yet I still love him.  A few days later she broke it off with him and a day after that he came back here.  He openly tells me that he loves her.  He says that if she called today he would probably leave me.  I can’t let him go though.  I don’t know how.

  

 

 

  

 

Does this make me weak?  Am I a coward because I let him back?  Is it my strength that allows me to do this?  Am I doing it for me?  Am I doing it for the kids?  Can we get past this? 

  

 

 

  

 

I have so many questions but the only truth I know in all of this is that I love my husband deeply.  I love our children.  I will not let go of even one spark of hope.  I made a vow to love him forever through thick and thin and I intend on keeping my word.

  

 

 

  

 

Wow,  I sure do find myself eating all those words I once said about women that stayed with a cheating husband.  I guess I really don’t know myself at all.

  

 

 

  

 

Broken Hearted!

  

 

  

 
February 27, 2006, 6:30 am CST

Twisted love: The aftermath

Tracy sometimes there is a relationship between a man and a woman that no one else understands. My 26yrs. of marriage is the same as yours. The life you choose is yours. I'm not saying don't Listen to other people, but if you are ok with your situration and is at peace stay with him. You change you and it might change him. Love is powerful if you use it right. 

  

Tinymama45 

 
February 27, 2006, 6:43 am CST

ANNOYING

This guy is so annoying that I don't know if I can stand to watch him talk his slick talk again. I have a feeling those text messages have gone back and forth anyway. I can't see him sending her a message saying "don't contact me -go away". At least not for long. I question if she really is with another man although it's possible. I think he should let Tracy have his cell phone for several days and see what messages and calls he gets.He is still trying to justify it by saying, well, can you blame me, she was so beautiful. Well maybe on the outside but not as aperson if she was a supposed friend of theirs. Have him change his cell phone number . He's at that age for men I think  where they are vulnerable. But I can't believe he went to his son first about it. That is totally inappropriate. I'm sorry,  I hope Tracy goes back to school or focuses on herself more. I'm not sure I can stomach listening to that arrogant slick voice of his again. He's not even worth watching.
 
February 27, 2006, 6:50 am CST

THATS AN EASY ONE

Quote From: momisme2

"My dad came to me first to talk about the affair before he even mentioned it to my mom" explains Chas. 

  

Why in the hell would you speak to your seventeen year old (A CHILD) about an affair before speaking to your wife(an ADULT)??? 

  

I can think of two reasons... 

  

1.  Youre a frickin idiot. 

  

2.  You are trying to get your child to side with you over their mother.   

  

Its early in the morning yet and im only working on one cup of coffee so if anyone has any other ideas I would be interested in hearing them. 

  

NUMBER ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:>)  (Even on one cup of coffee, that's a no brainer) Speaking of no-brainer....................:>)
 
February 27, 2006, 6:56 am CST

02/27 Twisted Love: The Aftermath

Quote From: momisme2

Its the sex stuff.  Whenever there is a discussion about sex the boards go buggery with the God speak.  I dont understand why people cant have convos about sex without bringing God/religion into it but apparently... they just cant!  lol 

  

You spoke about the government legislating morality.  While I do agree with you on this to a certain point, my question has always been where does one draw the line?  Seems government does need to legislate some sort of morality or else we wouldnt be prosecuting murderers, child abusers etc etc etc. 

What astounds me is that people can talk about children with no health care, people living in abject poverty and the killing and torture of war without raising the teachings of Christ, yet at the least hint of anything besides a saturday night, lights-off, close-my-eyes-and-think-of-the-queen marital relationship and His holy name is resurrected and paraded about....now THAT is immoral IMO.
 
February 27, 2006, 6:58 am CST

I AGREE!!!

Quote From: mary5045

The only thing wrong with this guy is that he is a very ARROGANT S O B.  You can tell that by the way he even sits in the chair across from Dr. Phil.  I feel like his wife should just call his bluff let him go to the other woman.  It would'nt be long at all before he came to her too and wanted to share her with someone else.  He couldn't even see what kind of pain he was inflicting on his wife because he is the kind who cares for no one but himself !!!

  

    dr phil said it best! this guy is very arrogant and very proud of who he is. i can't believe this woman puts up with his behavior. no he won't change, like he said " it's like a heroine addiction." if it's that big of an addiction then he needs it pretty bad. he thinks his wife should just sit back and accept it. i would tell this s.o.b. to hit the road. get your options open lady, life's too short! 

 
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