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Topic : 02/27 Twisted Love: The Aftermath

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Created on : Friday, February 24, 2006, 11:20:56 am

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil follows up with one of this year's most talked about couples: Charles and Tracy. Charles had been juggling his time between his wife and mistress. He wanted to have them both, so he came up with the perfect solution: polyfidelity, a relationship in which he is shared by the two women. Tracy says she can't express her anger over the affair because she doesn't know how. Will she fight for her rights for the first time in 20 years of marriage? Charles claims he said goodbye to the other woman, but why did it take four meetings? Is it "goodbye forever" or just "goodbye for now"? Plus, their oldest son speaks out about his father's behavior, and Tracy has a message for the other woman. Talk about the show here.

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cjdolan

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Cheerful

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February 27, 2006, 3:29 pm PST

stop kidding yourself

I just read the message about judgment of the "other women"....you have to walk in her shoes???? The other women can make the decision to do the RIGHT thing and not engage in the act of adultry. I was a victim of loving a man deeply, and having my heart broken by his affair. We split, I have forgiven him and my life, after 5 years has moved on. Two years ago I was faced with the suduction of a married man. He was a good freind of mine, we had a lot in common but it didn't happen because it wasn't right! He had a difficult relationship with his wife, so I say do something about it, but don't get involved with another problem! Get out or fix it! It was my responsibility to do the right thing for all involved... I believe we all are living in a time for instant gratification, "it's all about ME", quick fix, world......life and marriage and relationships do not always have a quick fix....you have to work at it. Don't fool yourself that as the "other women "it is not your fault, and you are doing it for yourself.....that's a cop out.

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rascals3

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Angry

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February 27, 2006, 3:29 pm PST

02/27 Twisted Love: The Aftermath

Quote From: dmfrkls

YOU ARE RATHER CONFUSING ME....SO YOU WALKED IN THE SAME SHOES FOR 4 YEARS? BOY THAT MUST HAVE BEEN WEARING! YOUR SAYING YOUR FRIEND, ENCOURAGED HIM FOR MANY YEARS TO GET HELP? HMMMM....MAYBE YOU WERE THE ENCOURAGER. WHY BUY THE COW WHEN THE MILK IS FREE? YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO SAY YOU ARE SORRY FOR HIS WIFE THAT SHE WOULD EVEN CONSIDER STAYING IN THE MARRIAGE WITH 3 OLDER DAUGHERS AND SETTING SUCH AN EXAMPLE? WHAT KIND OF "GOOD" MOTHER SETS THE EXAMPLE FOR HER CHILDREN? (MEANING YOU). GEEZ NOW TELL ME IF THIS SITUATION WAS REVERSED THAT YOUR HUSBUND WAS HAVING A MISTRESS.....YOU WOULD BE SAYING,HE WOULD BE BETTER OFF STAYING WITH HIS LOVER??? LET ME ASK YOU WHAT WAS MISSING IN YOUR LIFE OR MARRIAGE THAT YOU WENT & LOOKED BEYOND? WHY DIDN'T YOU DIVORCE OR MOVE ON SINCE YOU SEEM TO BE PRETTY HIGH & MIGHTY BECAUSE IT WAS YOU! ARE YOU NOW HAPPY WITH THIS MAN YOU HAD A AFFAIR WITH FOR 4 YEARS, OR HAS HE MOVED ON OR DECIDED TO STAY WITH HIS WIFE? WHEN YOU SAID HE CAME TO YOU? HMMMM....AGAIN. STAYED IN THE PICTURE HUH? DIDN'T LEAVE HIM DID YOU? NOBODY OR ANYTHING CAN MAKE THE HEART WONDER IF IT DOESN'T WANT TO. TIME TO CHANGE YOUR SHOES!

This is a response to the same message you responded too not the response you gave. You were sleeping with another woman's husband yet feel you have the right to criticize her choice to try and keep the father in a home with his daughters where he should have been the entire time. You helped show the daughters of the man you love so much that it's okay for men to have a little something on the side oh' but only if it's hush hush and they don't choose to try to make the marriage work once they find out about the other woman? You chose to cheat...what message does that send to your children?

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meowza2

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Relaxed

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February 27, 2006, 3:29 pm PST

What I'd Like To See

Tracy divorces Charley and moves on with her life. She becomes more fully developed as a human being and women. THEN... Dr. Phil has a dating show for her to find her a really caring, sexy and faithful guy.

In the end - the best revenge is happiness.

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dalesden18

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February 27, 2006, 3:29 pm PST

Charles is still arrogant!!

Charles still has that arrogant attitude and still, at least to me, doesn't have ANY remorse. If it was me I'd be kicking him OUT!! And now poor Tracy is sticking up for him. Tracy YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT!! My vote is that he will do it again!

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frinky

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Happy

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February 27, 2006, 3:29 pm PST

Another Cheater Replies

Quote From: helenwpg

c'mon Charles, don't you think it's time to stop lying and to stop trying to convince us all that you are a different man? your mask is not thick enough for us not to be able to see through you. You know deep inside that you will do it again....maybe not this woman....(although i actually suspect you will do it again with this woman).... maybe not a long time affair again...but you will have sex with another woman... sooner or later you will and you know it. You miss the rush. I believe that the swinging lifestyle would probably be a more suitable lifestyle for you. Think about it.

Tracy, you need help girl...you're trying to give Charles training on how to be a husband, you're working on trying to put this marriage together... why not invest all that time and energy on yourself? on getting your self-esteem back. You need to know that you don't need Charles in your life to be complete. You need to know that your kids are old enough now to understand that this mess is not their fault and that they have nothing to do with it. The marriage you wanted and the marriage you think you can still get does not exist Tracy. You need to understand that.

I don't believe cheating is a deal breaker, I believe that in some cases the one who cheated is legitimately sorry wants to change. I don't believe this is the case with you two. I don't believe you're sorry about the affair Charles, I believe you're sorry it all came out in the open because you still would like to have them both wouldn't you?

I think you're being a little bit hard on Charles. I know the high, the adreline rush, of having a beautiful woman pay you attention. It's hard to just walk away from. It pumps up your ego. But just like drugs, it eventually has it's down side. When you're caught up in the moment, you're not thinking about the negative effects that will happen later. If you look back in ancient times, most kings practised polgomy. Why? Because they could get away with it. I'm not saying polgomy is right, somebody always ends up hurt, but at the time it is happening, you're not thinking about the consequences.

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happykat01

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Happy

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surprised

February 27, 2006, 3:30 pm PST

Message for Pauline

Hey girl, its me Amanda

I was so surprised to see you today on TV ( you look great)

It's been too long

I just wanted to say hi to you after all these years, it's been like 16 years I think

reply to my message and I'll give you my email address

( I'm still married to Willy and have 2 teenagers)

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book53worm

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Cheerful

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February 27, 2006, 3:30 pm PST

Sorry Charley!

Quote From: trismx5

Well I am a recovered adulter!! I know that it is possible to change your life! My husband is so good to me. I am known to say that I don't deserve such a great man. God had other plans for my life... He wanted me to have a great man. And I got him and I will never let him go.

When you think back to your mistake - whether you were 'caught' or 'fessed up' to your adultery - were you ever so smug and unrepentent as Charles? It would appear that having been found out (and possibly forgiven) would humble Charles, yet it hasn't. He is just loving all the attention and the high drama. It would be next-to-impossible to forgive Charles, because, plain and simple, he's just not that sorry. It took him four (!) times to say 'goodbye' to the 'other woman'?? C'mon!

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jsquare

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Happy

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February 27, 2006, 3:30 pm PST

Why doesn't she think she deserves better?

It is hard to sit there and watch this guy and his expressions. His wife deserves better. After being married for 20 years, it has become obvious to me that, as long as my husband and I treat each other with the respect that we expect for our selves, then we get along fine. Stand up and speak out for what you know is right. Love and believe in yourself and others will follow. Deep in my soul I know that I deserve only the best and will not settle for less. With that in mind, I feel the same for my family.

I think the husband failed to understand Dr. Phil's point that he needed to go back and make it clear to his sons that he was wrong and that it is not O.K. to treat there mother that way. Boys learn and most of the time repeat what that father does. They need to have ingraved in them the correct values. Not what thier father has been teaching them lately.

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briannwin

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Happy

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upset

February 27, 2006, 3:30 pm PST

Tired of

It hurt so much to watch this woman seemingly accept this guys lies yet again. It shows several things to me. One, she is a saint and a very devoted and loving person. Second, it seems to me she is still in a dream world where she has either lost or is fast losing her self-respect to allow him to do this to her. I watch other couples all the time (I teach men in a mens group at my church) and it is so hurtful to me to watch how men, and women, treat their spouses. I lost my wife 14 months ago to a terrible desease and we had a phynominal relationship. But it ended and I see others where they treat each other with disrespect and with a lack of anything you could call love and it sometimes makes me angry. I really can't for sure tell what Charlie is thinking but to me he seemed very fake and trying hard to just win America, not his wife. I just wish I had someone like Tracy that I could love like I did my late wife. Her husband needs to realize what he has and thank God for her. Tracy, I truly hope for your sake that he can learn to love you like he should.

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maddy46

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Happy

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February 27, 2006, 3:30 pm PST

02/27 Twisted Love: The Aftermath

Quote From: rascals3

How could you know how this betrayal feels and then choose to be the other woman? Are you happy being the other woman? What if you are not the only other woman? He's lying to his wife why would he be honest with you? You don't know what goes on in his home either. Only what he tells you. Do you really think he's going to tell you the great things about her or all the mistakes he has made? No he's not! Does he tell you about all the nights he's left her in a pool of tears? How about his children? How do they feel? This man wants you to accept him he's not going to tell you his dirty dirty anymore than he would announce to his wife children and his entire family that he's been seeing you for 9 years. Why didn't you just stay with your husband of 25 years? Right now that poor woman is living a lie and has been living a lie for the past 9 years. That's a long nightmare to wake up from. So when this guy kicks the bucket is that when she's going to find out how she has sacrificed and given so much of her life for nothing more than a lie? I don't hate you, I'd have to know you to hate you. This decision you are making though, it's destructive to everyone involved, but I'm not telling you anything you didn't already know. Maybe one day you'll have a little more respect for yourself.

you most certainly will NOT be the ONLY " other woman" if hes seeing YOU i can bet hes had or wil have another... i would never ever be the other woman..I KNOW WHATS ITS LIKE to have that done to me

its hurtful..especially when the man u are MARRIED to says HE STILL LOVES YOU..then you find out..after he said that to you..he was seeing another.. :(

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