Topic : 02/27 Twisted Love: The Aftermath

Hello; 

that man has not finished his cheating,I can see it in his eyes he thinks of himself to much and his sex he will never give that up,he is saying what he thinks he can pull off on everyone...I have had two cheaters in my life.and they still are doing the same thing to this day..but the looks are going and they are old men now standing alone Hah........ 

As for Tracy I can understand she wants the family life so sad for her ...but she will know when to kick him in his ageing ass......... 

  

Evelyn 

I am the other woman in a poly-infidelity affair.  We all 3 met at a swing club and we all continue to have a very friendly relationship to this day.  I have been involved with this man for about 1 year.  I am a divorced woman of a man who had 5 affairs during our 22 year marriage and to say that I am shocked and appalled at myself for being in this relationship is an understatment!  His wife does not know to what extent he and I have continued our part of the affair and it kills me to think that she would ever find out.  I am in love with this guy and  wish there could be a future for us.  She tells me all the time how much she hates him and wishes him dead.  I listen and shrink a little more each time that I have to hear her say that.  He on the other hand is alot like Charles, refuses to discuss the matter with me at all.  I see him get jealous of his wife at parties and at the same time keeps very tight rein on me and my actions.  Nobody has ever taken a stand for the other woman and her opinion and I am sure that my opinion means very little.  My question...is there anyone else out there who is in the same boat as I am and interested at all in talking about it? 

 

  

I don't understand the whole problem here?  Was he not supporting her?  I have not heard her say that he was denying her sex or supporting her.  What is her problem?

I'd like to see the letter that Charles had written to his girlfriend.
Because I want to write one to my soon to be ex husband.

. 

Dr. Phil,

  

 

  

  

  I watched the first show with this situation and then the second. I have put a lot of time in talking with men to understand them and being a female of course I know how we think. Men for some reason think as a wife, that we don't hear or see what they say or do when they see a female around that’s so called "hot ". They don't think we pay attention to that. WE DO as I'm sure you know. For some reason men think those things doesn’t hurt our feelings. Then when it comes time for us, their wife to have sex with them and be creative and flirtatious and seductive, we CAN'T! When we hear those things it puts us so far down that we don't feel as though we have the body he actually wants therefore puts fear in our ability to even have sex with our spouse the same. The longer this goes on the harder it gets and the first thing that happens is sex is cut down or even worse OUT! Men set with a look as though they wonder what they done. Then  most venture out for affairs. This happens all over to marriages and it’s got to be addressed and stopped. We as wives hear these things and see these things when we are out with them. IT HURTS. I am a victim of this and to me there is no worse. It happened to me the first year I was married and we have been married now for 3 years this month. It's been VERY hard and difficult to say the least. He doesn’t understand that the person he married and that was so fun in bed and happy and felt on top of the world, he ruined with his positive comments (about a body that I don't have) regarding other women. It has gone so far that I don’t find myself appealing to him what so ever. He didn’t understand what happened to me until I sat down and took my time to tell him and how those hurt and made me feel. Trust me it was a long process that took 2 years and things aren’t perfect now. If men don’t get it through their heads that they can't be with their wives while they goggle and lust after the so called “hot " girls or women, their marriage will never last. As for my marriage I don't know the outcome. I just know that I feel helpless and it’s on my mind daily. I feel as I'm not good enough now and what right do I have of even trying to seduce him now that I’ve seen what it takes to pull that off. WHEN I seen this couple and him wanting two women it made me SICK! It’s just more of the same. THE hard part for the women in this is that she doesn’t have anything left to feel attractive to him anymore. I was waiting on you to address this and you never did. It has to be done SOON!  Our divorce rate in this Country is out of control and I call it as I see it and that to me is the soul reason for most of this. In a way I feel betrayed by my husband and I know she has, so where does she now start in the bedroom to keep his interest and his attraction toward her of which she has to believe he truly feels and it's not just for show! What does she do now that she’s not already done that will make him really wake up and see her as the pretty and sexy women that she is. His actions have made her feel ugly and unattractive to all and as long as she feels this way their marriage will never work because as bad as I hate to say it. It does come from the bedroom for men. I just don't know why I see this but many do not. It has to change and I just PRAY that you read this and address this on your show. I am willing to appear on there and tell my story and what I can say is speaking for thousands of these women. It hurts and it’s all uncalled for. Thanks for taking your time to read this. Prayers for You and Robin for the help your giving thousands that watch you

  

 

  

  

  

  

  

  

I just watched the show - very interesting.   

  

Affairs happen to both married men and women.  I believe that it takes a strong woman (and man) to forgive and try to keep the marriage and family unit together.  But forgiving I think is the easiest thing to do, it is the forgetting and not wondering the next time he/she does something out of the ordinary that brings up memories.   

  

Charles spoke in a cautionary garded way that would cause warning bells to go off in my head and I wonder if he has really seen the error of his ways.   

  

Tracy,  maybe losing your temper once would be good.  Nothing like a good scream to clear the air.  I bet you would get his attention. 

  

It would be interesting to revisit this couple in 12 to 18 months. 

she needs to realize that her husband is a cheat, weather you love him or not, that's what he is. once she understands that she only has to please herself she will go on. if you can please yourself and you are proud of who you are and love yourself. everything and everyone will fall into place. if she want to stay and work it out good for her. if she doesnt good for her to. but as far as he needs a challange bull his challange is his self. been there had that done to me. if he keeps one in the closet there is always a place for him to run.  he see's hisself as one dimentional, she is far from one dimentional. he's the guy with the challenge remember. if he's bored, get out and go with the other one so he wont be bored anymore. there is only one reason for people to cheat. there own insecurity. blame it on someone else thats easy, make excused thats easy to. marraige isnt about keeping the other person entertained 24/7 it about the good and bad time's working them out together with love and respect for each others feeling you must give your partner 99% percent of yourself and not expect anything in return and that is what makes a marriage love and respect for eachother all the time that persons feelings meaning more that your own, who cares about bored or chanllanges.she shows more love for him that he ever would think about showing her

I agree with you.  I would be happy if my souse would have an affair.  At least then maybe he would remember what sex is and want to have sex with me.  He won't agree to me having an affair, but I am not going to do without forever.  I feel sorry for anyone that considers "infidelity" a make or break situation in a marriage.  Not helping out financially, not being there for me emotionally, not being my best friend, etc.  Those are insurmountable problems, not a sexual affair.

I just watched the second installment of the 'Charles Show' and I am just amazed ! 

He just loves having this platform all his own. It's still feeding his enormous ego. he has all his BIG WORDS and FLOWERY PHRASES to pontificate about his lifeand the optimum word here is HIS life. 

His smug attitude is repulsive. 

I am a 51 year old woman who was divorced from a cheater after 2 children and 23 years of marraige. He started cheating right from the beginning and continued.  They were sluts, just there for the moment, and none lasted long. In your case-- To have him go to one woman, and proclaim his feelings for her, how beautiful she is, TO TALK ABOUT WHAT SHE DID IN BED THAT WAS SO GREAT !!!!!!!   That is beyond cruel. 

I have yet to see him look the least bit sorry. And it took 4 meetings to say goodbye---COME ON !!!!!! 

Tracy- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ?  

In my marraige after all those years I believed I was worthless and didn't think I could survive on my own. Then he gave me the greatest gift. He wanted a divorce and HE left. it was rough. We didn't have money. First I discovered something wonderful----- life without him in it WAS WONDERFUL. I ENJOYED MY OWN COMPANY.   You need to question your motives for staying with him.    Is it that you have a very comfortable life, a big house, an expensive car....... 

It's not worth living with him and his ego. 

Is it because of the children ? Any man who would ask his teenage son what he thinks about his affair is sick and a toxic influence and has no business being a father. My boys told me it was a relief to not live with the tension anymore. They are adults now and don't have much of a relationship with their father. They knew he cheated, and grew to have no respect for him, 

Much against the odds I met a man who loves me, treats me with respect, doesn't cheat and I married him.  THERE CAN BE LIFE AFTER A MARRAGE ENDS. 

Something else I want you to think about----- you're healthy now and I hope that continues-----but what if it doesn't ? 

On December 28th I had a stroke that paralyzed my  right side. I am now battling back with the constant support and help of my husband. I often wonder where I'd be if I was still married to my ex. 

WHERE WOULD CHARLES BE ?      Dialing the other woman's number......... 

  

meredith