Topic : 06/12 On the Outs With In-Laws

If the daughter-in-law keeps fighting with the mother in law... what is the daughter law expecting?.... Seriously... I know since my brother is seeing this horriable person.. my mom and I totally hate her and if your not good with me & my mom.. Then your doomed with everything else you have to do with this family... I don't think its right for the daughter in law saying horriable things like that... It sounds like its all made up in the daught in laws' head and she needs alot more help from Dr. Phil!!!!  I mean really if the mother-in-law wants to be mean or whatever she'd just say it flat out! :) 

  

Doesn't matter how mean the mother in law is... Daughter in law is trying to take over the mothers space... I'd probly be the same way.... but I don't think I'd act 100% the same way.. just be a lil mean  

  

Meg 

P.S. -- Still believe the daughter-in-law is craZy!!! 

My mother says that she doesn't hate him she hates that I moved out here with him. Thats not an excuse for her being rude and hurtful toward him. I told her that I love him, we are going to get married and that whether he and I lived together or not i was going to move out of her house soon anyway. I told her that I am old enough and capable of making my own decisions. I also told her that if this is a mistake she needs to let me learn on my own so I will not make it agian. She's not religious. She thinks that every guy I have dated is going to hurt me if I marry them. I dunno y though. She knows my bf's family and she knows a lot about him but she believes what she wants to and always has. She could get to know him better and I have uggested it but she says she knows all she wants to know about him. Thanks though

Wow I totally believe what your saying!!! 

But some people are thick headed and always have to have the last word!!! 

  

Hope your mother in law is still and always will be awsome! 

<33333 

Meg  

I watched this show today and could very easily have put my mil in that "hotseat".  My mil acted like she was a friend to me also when my hubby and I first got together-- only to start her crap as soon as we were married.  Talking about us (US) behind our backs, slandering my name anywhere she could.  NO I DID NOT deserve it, I am a decent person and I don't go out of my way to cause trouble for anyone.  This is her typical behavior, according to HER brothers and their wives. My solution to her troublemaking ways??? I just do not have any contact with her.  If I happen to run into her in public, I am JUST polite- but I offer NO information whatsoever.  At one point she threatened (guardedly) to take me to court for visitation rights of our daughter.... I have never said she couldn't see her, I just won't go to her house.  If she wants to see her she has to come to MY house and abide by MY rules.  OH and my daughter is 13 now and could very easily stop by and visit with her when she is out riding her bike, but chooses not to.  You see, somewhere along the line she was mean to my daughter and she has never forgotten that.  My hubby has little to no contact with her either- because of her ways.  Some people thrive on the troublemaking and stirring the pot.  We do not. We go about our lives and try to help those we can.  His mother obviously cannot be helped until she admits she has an anger and control problem.  I'll never forget the day my hubby came home from visiting his mother, trying to work things out with her... what did she do? She threw a coffee pot full off hot coffee at his head and it smashed against the wall.  He hasn't seen her since. Bottom line is some people cannot be helped and you need to sever ties with those toxic people.  Yes it hurts, but in the long run life is calmer without the constant disruption.

When I met my husband, I was 19 years old. He was 30 years old. My, now, mother-in-law told him when she thought I wasn't listening, that because I was young, I'd cheat on him. She caused him to doubt me and watch my every move and restrict me all because of one thing she said!  

I used to tell him things like "It's time to cut the emblical cord" and "Tell your mother to stop calling in the morning. I'm capable of takin care of my husband" only to have him reply with "Just because you have troubles with your mother doesn't mean I have to"  

My daughter was born and even more trouble came. My mother-in-law, and, sister-in-law called children services on me trying to get my daughter taken from me so my husband would leave me.  I wasn't able to divorce my husband as much as I wanted to. He threatened to find me and kill me if I divorced him. 

On February 16,1999 my husband passed away fromm an accident at work. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law now are like family to me because of my daughter. 

  

I just have to say to this man on TV, You need to tell your mother to respect you by respecting your wife. If your mother cannot or will not accept or respect your wife.. DISOWN your mother. 

I can feel the tension with the in laws.  I have in laws that want to second guess what we do.  I have stood up to them and let them know that my husband and I have discussed it and he is o.k. with the decission.  If we are o.k. with what is going on why should it upset them.  I am on good terms with them now and occasionally they still want to say something but I let them know that I will not tollerate it.  He has stood up to his dad also.

That MIL is really P888ing me off! She is lieing through HER teeth!!! Everything she says about them applies to her......Usually whatever someone is calling someone is more about them than you.

Face it- it takes two to Tango - and boy oh boy are momma and daughter-in-law exactly alike or what?  Many children tend to marry someone very like the role model they grew up with - and Anna Laura fits that to a tee. Anna-Laura isn't fighting for her marriage she's fighting momma-in-law cause they are more alike than anyone wants to admit.  Momma - cut it out - you are making a huge mistake being a part of Morgan and Anna-Laura's lives - in order for your granchildren not to grow up in a war zone that you are part of you will have to step aside and let it go. Morgan - you better get some therapy - you need to face up to your part in this. 

  

Ya'll live in a small town - either accept that or one of you move away.  Its ludicrious for anyone to think that you can't run into your momma in a small town.  

  

Anna-Laura - part of you is getting a kick out of this - part of you loves going on and on and on about this problem with your friends and family and probably anyone who will listen.  As far as the incident about the car accident - well - only a heartless fool wouldn't think that any mother wouldn't want to clap her eyes on her son to make sure he was alive and well.  I'm not saying that your mother-in-law isn't a problem in your life but she's probably too old to change or recognize her own failings and problems.  Its time for you to work at making yourself a happier person and maybe that means moving you and your momma to a  nice mother-daughter house where you and morgan and kids can live with your momma having her own separate living quarters cause what's happening now just isn't  working for any of you. And then if Momma-in-Law shows up there you calll the police on her! 

I could barely watch this show, there was so much lack of responsibility going on -  the worst of them being the daughter in law.  Such a vindictive righteous woman cannot possibly take responsibility for any of this - but I'd love to see her look for where her own responsibility is and where she can make it work.  They all are five year olds who need some serious looking at  having life work rather than blaming everyone around them. 

Sorry, Dr. Phil - don't think your intervention  is made a difference since no one was committed to having life work. 

 I can't quite tell you what's up with my MIL. She's not  very intelligent, and she's very very hateful and prejudiced against just about everyone, except Hungarians. She feels that she not only has the right to control her two grown sons, but she also has the right to anything they own, or anything material that they get as well.  She got rid of my brother-in-laws fiance about 6 yrs ago, and now she TOTALLY dominates him.  Her husband left  when my husband was 9 months old, and she raised the 2 boys alone, and she never lets them ever forget it. Constantly throws it in thier face that her life was so hard because of them.....and I guess it has created guilt in them....they've heard it since they were tiny. She also claims to be a good "Christian", but what she really is, is sick in the head.

One of the real problems about her name being on the deed is that if she goes into a nursing home, or runs up bills for any other reason, they can come after the equity in our house (which is a lot) that we have gone without vacations etc to pay extra on the principal of the mortgage.  But, my husband says "It would kill her" if he takes her to court. Says he just can't do it. Well.....he doesn't know it, but I can take her to court if I file for divorce. He's almost as much to blame as far as I'm concerned. It has made a real mess of my marriage.