Topic : 08/08 Cheaters

If for no other reason than the fact that at SOME point in your life you loved this person, you owe the respect of telling them you are unhappy and you either a)want to fix what's wrong or b) you want out. 

You are an adult, behave like one. If you've messed up, own up to your mistakes and take your lumps. Life isn't easy and no one ever promised you it would be. You aren't ENTITLED to happiness, you have to work for it. If you aren't happy, you need to admit that for whatever reason and deal with it. 

Cheating is for chickens or for sociopaths. Either you are too scared to deal with the justified anger and disappointment of your spouse, so you cheat to get what you want without having to pay the consequences, or alimony, or child support (which just makes you an ass) or you are selfish, entitled brat who thinks that life and all it's gifts is OWED to you and you owe no one anything.  

One thing I cannot stand is when adults act like 12 yr olds.  

When Society treats women better...and stops with the Boys will be Boys attitude....tis will be a better place...I know I have six brothers, cousins, uncles and male friends that believe that they can do what they want and not face the consequences...our day will come....we are all growing older and when we are sick and need someone to care for us...these jerks may not have that one.. 

Furthermore, women need to stop acting desperate...there is so much to life...know that we are still the ones left with the bundle...not to mention the spiritual demise...do we really believe we are the stronger sex....lets help one another to be that....there is love all around you...sex is not love... 

I didn't see the show, just read what's on the website.  My fiance & I broke up last night.  There is something each of these guys said that rings so true for my situation.  The first guy mentioned an emotional affair is just as bad as a physical one.  Well, the 7 years we were together I never felt jealousy towards any woman he was friends with until "N" showed up.  When he started to see I was getting bothered by his relationship with her, especially since it coincided with problems we were having, he then decided to keep their friendship a secret from me. He insisted to me there was nothing there but a friendship and he barely talked to her anymore.  Well, luckily he's not too educated in email use because she recently got a new email account & they've been emailing back & forth for the last few weeks, & not only did he not empty his deleted items folder but also didn't realize messages could be stored in the sent items folder.  I still choose to believe nothing physical happened, but i do believe they have a relationship that crossed the line from friendship.  It hurts just as much to know he had feelings for someone other than purely physical ones while with me. 

The second guy said he had thought the problems they had were because she needed to change, but now he realizes HE's the one who has to change.  My ex finally told me last night he's having a huge struggle with getting married to me, and has realized it's not anything I did or did not do, it's his problem for the most part.  Cheaters like to blame the spouse/significant other for making them stray, when in reality THEY are the ones with the problem!! 

 it upsets me because he cheated for 3 yrs before he left i never new he was cheating he had an affair with this woman that he met on a dirty website  and she is a school teacher and the school says there is nothing they can do about it  she still teachers specaial ed students. 

but the part that makes me the madist is that he new he was cheating and he said lets get you a van because mine was messed up and he even said lets get the room addition put on knowing he was cheating. 

and the part that gets me is he pays no child support and he pays nothing on the credit cards and our daughter got a job to help out dwith the bills  she is only 17 and in the 11th grade. 

but it makes me mad he gets away with everything  he even stoled a check from his sister forged her husbands signuature and all he has to do is community services instead of jail time like his sister wanted. 

he gets off easy paying nothing  and i am struggling he left me for kinky sex and i just found out the reason he did not leave when he first started the affair was because he did not want to be brought into her divorce so he had to wait to leave  he had an affair with her from 2002 until he left in july 2006. 

I am a new member, I stayed home last week and caught the show on cheaters.  I have been married for 17 years and I found out 5 years ago that my husband cheated with our family friend (her husband was his best friend) 7 years earlier.  When I found out it brought back such a flood of bad memories. I had asked him several times if he cheated and he always made me feel like i was crazy.  My problem is that I stuck it out with him (i went to counseling, he would not) but I can not trust him. Any suggestions? 

I AM IN A MARRY THAT MY HUSBAND CHEATED,OUT OF THE AFFAIR,A CHILD WAS CONCEIVED.YES,I WAS HURT AND YES I WAS ANGRY,HURT.I THEN CHEATED TO GET BACK AT HIM.BUT IT DIDN'T MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.I JUST BELITTLED MYSELF. AFTER 3 YEARS I HAVE FORGIVEN MY HUSBAND AND WE ARE TRYING TO MAKE OUR MARRIAGE WORK. BUT I REALIZE IF YOU DO NOT WORK AT  YOUR MARRIAGE TOGETHER IT WILL NOT WORK. PLEASE TALK AND LOVE YOUR MATE.SO MANY TAKE MARRIAGE FOR GRANTED.